The Taming of the Shrew

A comedy written in 1593 by William Shakespeare

ORDERSTAGEACTSCENECHARACTERLINE
1(stage directions)01 Enter HOSTESS and SLY
201SLYI'll pheeze you, in faith.
301HOSTESSA pair of stocks, you rogue!
401SLYY'are a baggage; the Slys are no rogues. Look in the chronicles: we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide. Sessa!
501HOSTESSYou will not pay for the glasses you have burst?
601SLYNo, not a denier. Go by, Saint Jeronimy, go to thy cold bed and warm thee.
701HOSTESSI know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough.
8(stage directions)01 Exit
901SLYThird, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law. I'll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly. [Falls asleep] Wind horns. Enter a LORD from hunting, with his train
1001LORDHuntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds; Brach Merriman, the poor cur, is emboss'd; And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd brach. Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault? I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.
1101FIRST HUNTSMANWhy, Belman is as good as he, my lord; He cried upon it at the merest loss, And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent; Trust me, I take him for the better dog.
1201LORDThou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such. But sup them well, and look unto them all; To-morrow I intend to hunt again.
1301FIRST HUNTSMANI will, my lord.
1401LORDWhat's here? One dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?
1501SECOND HUNTSMANHe breathes, my lord. Were he not warm'd with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.
1601LORDO monstrous beast, how like a swine he lies! Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image! Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man. What think you, if he were convey'd to bed, Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers, A most delicious banquet by his bed, And brave attendants near him when he wakes, Would not the beggar then forget himself?
1701FIRST HUNTSMANBelieve me, lord, I think he cannot choose.
1801SECOND HUNTSMANIt would seem strange unto him when he wak'd.
1901LORDEven as a flatt'ring dream or worthless fancy. Then take him up, and manage well the jest: Carry him gently to my fairest chamber, And hang it round with all my wanton pictures; Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters, And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet; Procure me music ready when he wakes, To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound; And if he chance to speak, be ready straight, And with a low submissive reverence Say 'What is it your honour will command?' Let one attend him with a silver basin Full of rose-water and bestrew'd with flowers; Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper, And say 'Will't please your lordship cool your hands?' Some one be ready with a costly suit, And ask him what apparel he will wear; Another tell him of his hounds and horse, And that his lady mourns at his disease; Persuade him that he hath been lunatic, And, when he says he is, say that he dreams, For he is nothing but a mighty lord. This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs; It will be pastime passing excellent, If it be husbanded with modesty.
2001FIRST HUNTSMANMy lord, I warrant you we will play our part As he shall think by our true diligence He is no less than what we say he is.
2101LORDTake him up gently, and to bed with him; And each one to his office when he wakes. [SLY is carried out. A trumpet sounds] Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds- [Exit SERVANT] Belike some noble gentleman that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here. [Re-enter a SERVINGMAN] How now! who is it?
2201SERVANTAn't please your honour, players That offer service to your lordship.
2301LORDBid them come near. Now, fellows, you are welcome.
2401PLAYERSWe thank your honour.
2501LORDDo you intend to stay with me to-night?
2601PLAYERSo please your lordship to accept our duty.
2701LORDWith all my heart. This fellow I remember Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son; 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well. I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part Was aptly fitted and naturally perform'd.
2801PLAYERI think 'twas Soto that your honour means.
2901LORD'Tis very true; thou didst it excellent. Well, you are come to me in happy time, The rather for I have some sport in hand Wherein your cunning can assist me much. There is a lord will hear you play to-night; But I am doubtful of your modesties, Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour, For yet his honour never heard a play, You break into some merry passion And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs, If you should smile, he grows impatient.
3001PLAYERFear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world.
3101LORDGo, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one; Let them want nothing that my house affords. [Exit one with the PLAYERS] Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page, And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady; That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber, And call him 'madam,' do him obeisance. Tell him from me- as he will win my love- He bear himself with honourable action, Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies Unto their lords, by them accomplished; Such duty to the drunkard let him do, With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy, And say 'What is't your honour will command, Wherein your lady and your humble wife May show her duty and make known her love?' And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses, And with declining head into his bosom, Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed To see her noble lord restor'd to health, Who for this seven years hath esteemed him No better than a poor and loathsome beggar. And if the boy have not a woman's gift To rain a shower of commanded tears, An onion will do well for such a shift, Which, in a napkin being close convey'd, Shall in despite enforce a watery eye. See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst; Anon I'll give thee more instructions. Exit a SERVINGMAN I know the boy will well usurp the grace, Voice, gait, and action, of a gentlewoman; I long to hear him call the drunkard 'husband'; And how my men will stay themselves from laughter When they do homage to this simple peasant. I'll in to counsel them; haply my presence May well abate the over-merry spleen, Which otherwise would grow into extremes. Exeunt
32(stage directions)02Enter aloft SLY, with ATTENDANTS; some with apparel, basin and ewer, and other appurtenances; and LORD
3302SLYFor God's sake, a pot of small ale.
3402FIRST SERVANTWill't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?
3502SECOND SERVANTWill't please your honour taste of these conserves?
3602THIRD SERVANTWhat raiment will your honour wear to-day?
3702SLYI am Christophero Sly; call not me 'honour' nor 'lordship.' I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet- nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather.
3802LORDHeaven cease this idle humour in your honour! O, that a mighty man of such descent, Of such possessions, and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit!
3902SLYWhat, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton Heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not; if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lying'st knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught. [Taking a pot of ale] Here's-
4002THIRD SERVANTO, this it is that makes your lady mourn!
4102SECOND SERVANTO, this is it that makes your servants droop!
4202LORDHence comes it that your kindred shuns your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth! Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence these abject lowly dreams. Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck. Wilt thou have music? Hark! Apollo plays, [Music] And twenty caged nightingales do sing. Or wilt thou sleep? We'll have thee to a couch Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground. Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapp'd, Their harness studded all with gold and pearl. Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them And fetch shall echoes from the hollow earth.
4302FIRST SERVANTSay thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe.
4402SECOND SERVANTDost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in sedges hid, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath Even as the waving sedges play wi' th' wind.
4502LORDWe'll show thee Io as she was a maid And how she was beguiled and surpris'd, As lively painted as the deed was done.
4602THIRD SERVANTOr Daphne roaming through a thorny wood, Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep, So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
4702LORDThou art a lord, and nothing but a lord. Thou hast a lady far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age.
4802FIRST SERVANTAnd, till the tears that she hath shed for thee Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face, She was the fairest creature in the world; And yet she is inferior to none.
4902SLYAm I a lord and have I such a lady? Or do I dream? Or have I dream'd till now? I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak; I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things. Upon my life, I am a lord indeed, And not a tinker, nor Christopher Sly. Well, bring our lady hither to our sight; And once again, a pot o' th' smallest ale.
5002SECOND SERVANTWill't please your Mightiness to wash your hands? O, how we joy to see your wit restor'd! O, that once more you knew but what you are! These fifteen years you have been in a dream; Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.
5102SLYThese fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time?
5202FIRST SERVANTO, yes, my lord, but very idle words; For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door; And rail upon the hostess of the house, And say you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts. Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.
5302SLYAy, the woman's maid of the house.
5402THIRD SERVANTWhy, sir, you know no house nor no such maid, Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up, As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece, And Peter Turph, and Henry Pimpernell; And twenty more such names and men as these, Which never were, nor no man ever saw.
5502SLYNow, Lord be thanked for my good amends!
5602ALLAmen.
57(stage directions)02 Enter the PAGE as a lady, with ATTENDANTS
5802SLYI thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.
5902PAGEHow fares my noble lord?
6002SLYMarry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?
6102PAGEHere, noble lord; what is thy will with her?
6202SLYAre you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me 'lord'; I am your goodman.
6302PAGEMy husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience.
6402SLYI know it well. What must I call her?
6502LORDMadam.
6602SLYAl'ce madam, or Joan madam?
6702LORDMadam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.
6802SLYMadam wife, they say that I have dream'd And slept above some fifteen year or more.
6902PAGEAy, and the time seems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.
7002SLY'Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone. [Exeunt SERVANTS] Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.
7102PAGEThrice noble lord, let me entreat of you To pardon me yet for a night or two; Or, if not so, until the sun be set. For your physicians have expressly charg'd, In peril to incur your former malady, That I should yet absent me from your bed. I hope this reason stands for my excuse.
7202SLYAy, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.
73(stage directions)02 Enter a MESSENGER
7402MESSENGERYour honour's players, hearing your amendment, Are come to play a pleasant comedy; For so your doctors hold it very meet, Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood, And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy. Therefore they thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.
7502SLYMarry, I will; let them play it. Is not a comonty a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?
7602PAGENo, my good lord, it is more pleasing stuff.
7702SLYWhat, household stuff?
7802PAGEIt is a kind of history.
7902SLYWell, we'll see't. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip;-we shall ne'er be younger.
80(stage directions)02[They sit down]
81(stage directions)02 A flourish of trumpets announces the play
82(stage directions)11Enter LUCENTIO and his man TRANIO
8311LUCENTIOTranio, since for the great desire I had To see fair Padua, nursery of arts, I am arriv'd for fruitful Lombardy, The pleasant garden of great Italy, And by my father's love and leave am arm'd With his good will and thy good company, My trusty servant well approv'd in all, Here let us breathe, and haply institute A course of learning and ingenious studies. Pisa, renowned for grave citizens, Gave me my being and my father first, A merchant of great traffic through the world, Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii; Vincentio's son, brought up in Florence, It shall become to serve all hopes conceiv'd, To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds. And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study, Virtue and that part of philosophy Will I apply that treats of happiness By virtue specially to be achiev'd. Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep, And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.
8411TRANIOMi perdonato, gentle master mine; I am in all affected as yourself; Glad that you thus continue your resolve To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy. Only, good master, while we do admire This virtue and this moral discipline, Let's be no Stoics nor no stocks, I pray, Or so devote to Aristotle's checks As Ovid be an outcast quite abjur'd. Balk logic with acquaintance that you have, And practise rhetoric in your common talk; Music and poesy use to quicken you; The mathematics and the metaphysics, Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you. No profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en; In brief, sir, study what you most affect.
8511LUCENTIOGramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise. If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore, We could at once put us in readiness, And take a lodging fit to entertain Such friends as time in Padua shall beget. Enter BAPTISTA with his two daughters, KATHERINA and BIANCA; GREMIO, a pantaloon; HORTENSIO, suitor to BIANCA. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand by But stay awhile; what company is this?
8611TRANIOMaster, some show to welcome us to town.
8711BAPTISTAGentlemen, importune me no farther, For how I firmly am resolv'd you know; That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter Before I have a husband for the elder. If either of you both love Katherina, Because I know you well and love you well, Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
8811GREMIOTo cart her rather. She's too rough for me. There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife?
8911KATHERINA[To BAPTISTA] I pray you, sir, is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates?
9011HORTENSIOMates, maid! How mean you that? No mates for you, Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
9111KATHERINAI' faith, sir, you shall never need to fear; Iwis it is not halfway to her heart; But if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool.
9211HORTENSIOFrom all such devils, good Lord deliver us!
9311GREMIOAnd me, too, good Lord!
9411TRANIOHusht, master! Here's some good pastime toward; That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.
9511LUCENTIOBut in the other's silence do I see Maid's mild behaviour and sobriety. Peace, Tranio!
9611TRANIOWell said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.
9711BAPTISTAGentlemen, that I may soon make good What I have said- Bianca, get you in; And let it not displease thee, good Bianca, For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.
9811KATHERINAA pretty peat! it is best Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.
9911BIANCASister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe; My books and instruments shall be my company, On them to look, and practise by myself.
10011LUCENTIOHark, Tranio, thou mayst hear Minerva speak!
10111HORTENSIOSignior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I that our good will effects Bianca's grief.
10211GREMIOWhy will you mew her up, Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell, And make her bear the penance of her tongue?
10311BAPTISTAGentlemen, content ye; I am resolv'd. Go in, Bianca. Exit BIANCA And for I know she taketh most delight In music, instruments, and poetry, Schoolmasters will I keep within my house Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio, Or, Signior Gremio, you, know any such, Prefer them hither; for to cunning men I will be very kind, and liberal To mine own children in good bringing-up; And so, farewell. Katherina, you may stay; For I have more to commune with Bianca. Exit
10411KATHERINAWhy, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What! shall I be appointed hours, as though, belike, I knew not what to take and what to leave? Ha! Exit
10511GREMIOYou may go to the devil's dam; your gifts are so good here's none will hold you. There! Love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on both sides. Farewell; yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
10611HORTENSIOSo Will I, Signior Gremio; but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brook'd parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both- that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca's love- to labour and effect one thing specially.
10711GREMIOWhat's that, I pray?
10811HORTENSIOMarry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.
10911GREMIOA husband? a devil.
11011HORTENSIOI say a husband.
11111GREMIOI say a devil. Think'st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?
11211HORTENSIOTush, Gremio! Though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
11311GREMIOI cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition: to be whipp'd at the high cross every morning.
11411HORTENSIOFaith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintain'd till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?
11511GREMIOI am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her! Come on.
116(stage directions)11 Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO
11711TRANIOI pray, sir, tell me, is it possible That love should of a sudden take such hold?
11811LUCENTIOO Tranio, till I found it to be true, I never thought it possible or likely. But see! while idly I stood looking on, I found the effect of love in idleness; And now in plainness do confess to thee, That art to me as secret and as dear As Anna to the Queen of Carthage was- Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio, If I achieve not this young modest girl. Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst; Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
11911TRANIOMaster, it is no time to chide you now; Affection is not rated from the heart; If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so: 'Redime te captum quam queas minimo.'
12011LUCENTIOGramercies, lad. Go forward; this contents; The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.
12111TRANIOMaster, you look'd so longly on the maid. Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.
12211LUCENTIOO, yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face, Such as the daughter of Agenor had, That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.
12311TRANIOSaw you no more? Mark'd you not how her sister Began to scold and raise up such a storm That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
12411LUCENTIOTranio, I saw her coral lips to move, And with her breath she did perfume the air; Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.
12511TRANIONay, then 'tis time to stir him from his trance. I pray, awake, sir. If you love the maid, Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands: Her elder sister is so curst and shrewd That, till the father rid his hands of her, Master, your love must live a maid at home; And therefore has he closely mew'd her up, Because she will not be annoy'd with suitors.
12611LUCENTIOAh, Tranio, what a cruel father's he! But art thou not advis'd he took some care To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?
12711TRANIOAy, marry, am I, sir, and now 'tis plotted.
12811LUCENTIOI have it, Tranio.
12911TRANIOMaster, for my hand, Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
13011LUCENTIOTell me thine first.
13111TRANIOYou will be schoolmaster, And undertake the teaching of the maid- That's your device.
13211LUCENTIOIt is. May it be done?
13311TRANIONot possible; for who shall bear your part And be in Padua here Vincentio's son; Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends, Visit his countrymen, and banquet them?
13411LUCENTIOBasta, content thee, for I have it full. We have not yet been seen in any house, Nor can we be distinguish'd by our faces For man or master. Then it follows thus: Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, Keep house and port and servants, as I should; I will some other be- some Florentine, Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa. 'Tis hatch'd, and shall be so. Tranio, at once Uncase thee; take my colour'd hat and cloak. When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.
13511TRANIOSo had you need. [They exchange habits] In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is, And I am tied to be obedient- For so your father charg'd me at our parting: 'Be serviceable to my son' quoth he, Although I think 'twas in another sense- I am content to be Lucentio, Because so well I love Lucentio.
13611LUCENTIOTranio, be so because Lucentio loves; And let me be a slave t' achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye. [Enter BIONDELLO.] Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been?
13711BIONDELLOWhere have I been! Nay, how now! where are you? Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes? Or you stol'n his? or both? Pray, what's the news?
13811LUCENTIOSirrah, come hither; 'tis no time to jest, And therefore frame your manners to the time. Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life, Puts my apparel and my count'nance on, And I for my escape have put on his; For in a quarrel since I came ashore I kill'd a man, and fear I was descried. Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes, While I make way from hence to save my life. You understand me?
13911BIONDELLOI, sir? Ne'er a whit.
14011LUCENTIOAnd not a jot of Tranio in your mouth: Tranio is chang'd into Lucentio.
14111BIONDELLOThe better for him; would I were so too!
14211TRANIOSo could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after, That Lucentio indeed had Baptista's youngest daughter. But, sirrah, not for my sake but your master's, I advise You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies. When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio; But in all places else your master Lucentio.
14311LUCENTIOTranio, let's go. One thing more rests, that thyself execute- To make one among these wooers. If thou ask me why- Sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty. Exeunt.
144(stage directions)11 The Presenters above speak
14511FIRST SERVANTMy lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.
14611SLYYes, by Saint Anne do I. A good matter, surely; comes there any more of it?
14711PAGEMy lord, 'tis but begun.
14811SLY'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady Would 'twere done! [They sit and mark]
149(stage directions)12Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO
15012PETRUCHIOVerona, for a while I take my leave, To see my friends in Padua; but of all My best beloved and approved friend, Hortensio; and I trow this is his house. Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.
15112GRUMIOKnock, sir! Whom should I knock? Is there any man has rebus'd your worship?
15212PETRUCHIOVillain, I say, knock me here soundly.
15312GRUMIOKnock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?
15412PETRUCHIOVillain, I say, knock me at this gate, And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.
15512GRUMIOMy master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst.
15612PETRUCHIOWill it not be? Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock I'll ring it; I'll try how you can sol-fa, and sing it.
157(stage directions)12 [He wrings him by the ears]
15812GRUMIOHelp, masters, help! My master is mad.
15912PETRUCHIONow knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
160(stage directions)12 Enter HORTENSIO
16112HORTENSIOHow now! what's the matter? My old friend Grumio and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?
16212PETRUCHIOSignior Hortensio, come you to part the fray? 'Con tutto il cuore ben trovato' may I say.
16312HORTENSIOAlla nostra casa ben venuto, Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel.
16412GRUMIONay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service- look you, sir: he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
16512PETRUCHIOA senseless villain! Good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it.
16612GRUMIOKnock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain: 'Sirrah knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly'? And come you now with 'knocking at the gate'?
16712PETRUCHIOSirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
16812HORTENSIOPetruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge; Why, this's a heavy chance 'twixt him and you, Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio. And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
16912PETRUCHIOSuch wind as scatters young men through the world To seek their fortunes farther than at home, Where small experience grows. But in a few, Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me: Antonio, my father, is deceas'd, And I have thrust myself into this maze, Haply to wive and thrive as best I may; Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world.
17012HORTENSIOPetruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour'd wife? Thou'dst thank me but a little for my counsel, And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich, And very rich; but th'art too much my friend, And I'll not wish thee to her.
17112PETRUCHIOSignior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, As wealth is burden of my wooing dance, Be she as foul as was Florentius' love, As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd As Socrates' Xanthippe or a worse- She moves me not, or not removes, at least, Affection's edge in me, were she as rough As are the swelling Adriatic seas. I come to wive it wealthily in Padua; If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
17212GRUMIONay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she has as many diseases as two and fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
17312HORTENSIOPetruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in, I will continue that I broach'd in jest. I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough, and young and beauteous; Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman; Her only fault, and that is faults enough, Is- that she is intolerable curst, And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure That, were my state far worser than it is, I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
17412PETRUCHIOHortensio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect. Tell me her father's name, and 'tis enough; For I will board her though she chide as loud As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
17512HORTENSIOHer father is Baptista Minola, An affable and courteous gentleman; Her name is Katherina Minola, Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
17612PETRUCHIOI know her father, though I know not her; And he knew my deceased father well. I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; And therefore let me be thus bold with you To give you over at this first encounter, Unless you will accompany me thither.
17712GRUMIOI pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O' my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that's nothing; and he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir: an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
17812HORTENSIOTarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee, For in Baptista's keep my treasure is. He hath the jewel of my life in hold, His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca; And her withholds from me, and other more, Suitors to her and rivals in my love; Supposing it a thing impossible- For those defects I have before rehears'd- That ever Katherina will be woo'd. Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en, That none shall have access unto Bianca Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.
17912GRUMIOKatherine the curst! A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
18012HORTENSIONow shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me disguis'd in sober robes To old Baptista as a schoolmaster Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca; That so I may by this device at least Have leave and leisure to make love to her, And unsuspected court her by herself. Enter GREMIO with LUCENTIO disguised as CAMBIO
18112GRUMIOHere's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha?
18212HORTENSIOPeace, Grumio! It is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by awhile.
18312GRUMIOA proper stripling, and an amorous!
184(stage directions)12 [They stand aside]
18512GREMIOO, very well; I have perus'd the note. Hark you, sir; I'll have them very fairly bound- All books of love, see that at any hand; And see you read no other lectures to her. You understand me- over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too, And let me have them very well perfum'd; For she is sweeter than perfume itself To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
18612LUCENTIOWhate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you As for my patron, stand you so assur'd, As firmly as yourself were still in place; Yea, and perhaps with more successful words Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
18712GREMIOO this learning, what a thing it is!
18812GRUMIOO this woodcock, what an ass it is!
18912PETRUCHIOPeace, sirrah!
19012HORTENSIOGrumio, mum! [Coming forward] God save you, Signior Gremio!
19112GREMIOAnd you are well met, Signior Hortensio. Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola. I promis'd to enquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca; And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man; for learning and behaviour Fit for her turn, well read in poetry And other books- good ones, I warrant ye.
19212HORTENSIO'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman Hath promis'd me to help me to another, A fine musician to instruct our mistress; So shall I no whit be behind in duty To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
19312GREMIOBeloved of me- and that my deeds shall prove.
19412GRUMIOAnd that his bags shall prove.
19512HORTENSIOGremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love. Listen to me, and if you speak me fair I'll tell you news indifferent good for either. Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met, Upon agreement from us to his liking, Will undertake to woo curst Katherine; Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
19612GREMIOSo said, so done, is well. Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
19712PETRUCHIOI know she is an irksome brawling scold; If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
19812GREMIONo, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?
19912PETRUCHIOBorn in Verona, old Antonio's son. My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days and long to see.
20012GREMIOO Sir, such a life with such a wife were strange! But if you have a stomach, to't a God's name; You shall have me assisting you in all. But will you woo this wild-cat?
20112PETRUCHIOWill I live?
20212GRUMIOWill he woo her? Ay, or I'll hang her.
20312PETRUCHIOWhy came I hither but to that intent? Think you a little din can daunt mine ears? Have I not in my time heard lions roar? Have I not heard the sea, puff'd up with winds, Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat? Have I not heard great ordnance in the field, And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies? Have I not in a pitched battle heard Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang? And do you tell me of a woman's tongue, That gives not half so great a blow to hear As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire? Tush! tush! fear boys with bugs.
20412GRUMIOFor he fears none.
20512GREMIOHortensio, hark: This gentleman is happily arriv'd, My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
20612HORTENSIOI promis'd we would be contributors And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er.
20712GREMIOAnd so we will- provided that he win her.
20812GRUMIOI would I were as sure of a good dinner. Enter TRANIO, bravely apparelled as LUCENTIO, and BIONDELLO
20912TRANIOGentlemen, God save you! If I may be bold, Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?
21012BIONDELLOHe that has the two fair daughters; is't he you mean?
21112TRANIOEven he, Biondello.
21212GREMIOHark you, sir, you mean not her to-
21312TRANIOPerhaps him and her, sir; what have you to do?
21412PETRUCHIONot her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
21512TRANIOI love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.
21612LUCENTIO[Aside] Well begun, Tranio.
21712HORTENSIOSir, a word ere you go. Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?
21812TRANIOAnd if I be, sir, is it any offence?
21912GREMIONo; if without more words you will get you hence.
22012TRANIOWhy, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free For me as for you?
22112GREMIOBut so is not she.
22212TRANIOFor what reason, I beseech you?
22312GREMIOFor this reason, if you'll know, That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio.
22412HORTENSIOThat she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
22512TRANIOSoftly, my masters! If you be gentlemen, Do me this right- hear me with patience. Baptista is a noble gentleman, To whom my father is not all unknown, And, were his daughter fairer than she is, She may more suitors have, and me for one. Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers; Then well one more may fair Bianca have; And so she shall: Lucentio shall make one, Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
22612GREMIOWhat, this gentleman will out-talk us all!
22712LUCENTIOSir, give him head; I know he'll prove a jade.
22812PETRUCHIOHortensio, to what end are all these words?
22912HORTENSIOSir, let me be so bold as ask you, Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?
23012TRANIONo, sir, but hear I do that he hath two: The one as famous for a scolding tongue As is the other for beauteous modesty.
23112PETRUCHIOSir, sir, the first's for me; let her go by.
23212GREMIOYea, leave that labour to great Hercules, And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.
23312PETRUCHIOSir, understand you this of me, in sooth: The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for, Her father keeps from all access of suitors, And will not promise her to any man Until the elder sister first be wed. The younger then is free, and not before.
23412TRANIOIf it be so, sir, that you are the man Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest; And if you break the ice, and do this feat, Achieve the elder, set the younger free For our access- whose hap shall be to have her Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
23512HORTENSIOSir, you say well, and well you do conceive; And since you do profess to be a suitor, You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman, To whom we all rest generally beholding.
23612TRANIOSir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof, Please ye we may contrive this afternoon, And quaff carouses to our mistress' health; And do as adversaries do in law- Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
23712GRUMIO[with BIONDELLO:] O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.
23812HORTENSIOThe motion's good indeed, and be it so. Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto. Exeunt
239(stage directions)21Enter KATHERINA and BIANCA
24021BIANCAGood sister, wrong me not, nor wrong yourself, To make a bondmaid and a slave of me- That I disdain; but for these other gawds, Unbind my hands, I'll pull them off myself, Yea, all my raiment, to my petticoat; Or what you will command me will I do, So well I know my duty to my elders.
24121KATHERINAOf all thy suitors here I charge thee tell Whom thou lov'st best. See thou dissemble not.
24221BIANCABelieve me, sister, of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face Which I could fancy more than any other.
24321KATHERINAMinion, thou liest. Is't not Hortensio?
24421BIANCAIf you affect him, sister, here I swear I'll plead for you myself but you shall have him.
24521KATHERINAO then, belike, you fancy riches more: You will have Gremio to keep you fair.
24621BIANCAIs it for him you do envy me so? Nay, then you jest; and now I well perceive You have but jested with me all this while. I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.
24721KATHERINA[Strikes her] If that be jest, then an the rest was so.
248(stage directions)21 Enter BAPTISTA
24921BAPTISTAWhy, how now, dame! Whence grows this insolence? Bianca, stand aside- poor girl! she weeps. [He unbinds her] Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her. For shame, thou hilding of a devilish spirit, Why dost thou wrong her that did ne'er wrong thee? When did she cross thee with a bitter word?
25021KATHERINAHer silence flouts me, and I'll be reveng'd.
251(stage directions)21 [Flies after BIANCA]
25221BAPTISTAWhat, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in.
253(stage directions)21[Exit BIANCA]
25421KATHERINAWhat, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see She is your treasure, she must have a husband; I must dance bare-foot on her wedding-day, And for your love to her lead apes in hell. Talk not to me; I will go sit and weep, Till I can find occasion of revenge. Exit KATHERINA
25521BAPTISTAWas ever gentleman thus griev'd as I? But who comes here?
256(stage directions)21 Enter GREMIO, with LUCENTIO in the habit of a mean man; PETRUCHIO, with HORTENSIO as a musician; and TRANIO, as LUCENTIO, with his boy, BIONDELLO, bearing a lute and books
25721GREMIOGood morrow, neighbour Baptista.
25821BAPTISTAGood morrow, neighbour Gremio. God save you, gentlemen!
25921PETRUCHIOAnd you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter Call'd Katherina, fair and virtuous?
26021BAPTISTAI have a daughter, sir, call'd Katherina.
26121GREMIOYou are too blunt; go to it orderly.
26221PETRUCHIOYou wrong me, Signior Gremio; give me leave. I am a gentleman of Verona, sir, That, hearing of her beauty and her wit, Her affability and bashful modesty, Her wondrous qualities and mild behaviour, Am bold to show myself a forward guest Within your house, to make mine eye the witness Of that report which I so oft have heard. And, for an entrance to my entertainment, I do present you with a man of mine, [Presenting HORTENSIO] Cunning in music and the mathematics, To instruct her fully in those sciences, Whereof I know she is not ignorant. Accept of him, or else you do me wrong- His name is Licio, born in Mantua.
26321BAPTISTAY'are welcome, sir, and he for your good sake; But for my daughter Katherine, this I know, She is not for your turn, the more my grief.
26421PETRUCHIOI see you do not mean to part with her; Or else you like not of my company.
26521BAPTISTAMistake me not; I speak but as I find. Whence are you, sir? What may I call your name?
26621PETRUCHIOPetruchio is my name, Antonio's son, A man well known throughout all Italy.
26721BAPTISTAI know him well; you are welcome for his sake.
26821GREMIOSaving your tale, Petruchio, I pray, Let us that are poor petitioners speak too. Bacare! you are marvellous forward.
26921PETRUCHIOO, pardon me, Signior Gremio! I would fain be doing.
27021GREMIOI doubt it not, sir; but you will curse your wooing. Neighbour, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely give unto you this young scholar [Presenting LUCENTIO] that hath been long studying at Rheims; as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other in music and mathematics. His name is Cambio. Pray accept his service.
27121BAPTISTAA thousand thanks, Signior Gremio. Welcome, good Cambio. [To TRANIO] But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger. May I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?
27221TRANIOPardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own That, being a stranger in this city here, Do make myself a suitor to your daughter, Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous. Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me In the preferment of the eldest sister. This liberty is all that I request- That, upon knowledge of my parentage, I may have welcome 'mongst the rest that woo, And free access and favour as the rest. And toward the education of your daughters I here bestow a simple instrument, And this small packet of Greek and Latin books. If you accept them, then their worth is great.
27321BAPTISTALucentio is your name? Of whence, I pray?
27421TRANIOOf Pisa, sir; son to Vincentio.
27521BAPTISTAA mighty man of Pisa. By report I know him well. You are very welcome, sir. Take you the lute, and you the set of books; You shall go see your pupils presently. Holla, within! [Enter a SERVANT] Sirrah, lead these gentlemen To my daughters; and tell them both These are their tutors. Bid them use them well. [Exit SERVANT leading HORTENSIO carrying the lute and LUCENTIO with the books] We will go walk a little in the orchard, And then to dinner. You are passing welcome, And so I pray you all to think yourselves.
27621PETRUCHIOSignior Baptista, my business asketh haste, And every day I cannot come to woo. You knew my father well, and in him me, Left solely heir to all his lands and goods, Which I have bettered rather than decreas'd. Then tell me, if I get your daughter's love, What dowry shall I have with her to wife?
27721BAPTISTAAfter my death, the one half of my lands And, in possession, twenty thousand crowns.
27821PETRUCHIOAnd for that dowry, I'll assure her of Her widowhood, be it that she survive me, In all my lands and leases whatsoever. Let specialities be therefore drawn between us, That covenants may be kept on either hand.
27921BAPTISTAAy, when the special thing is well obtain'd, That is, her love; for that is all in all.
28021PETRUCHIOWhy, that is nothing; for I tell you, father, I am as peremptory as she proud-minded; And where two raging fires meet together, They do consume the thing that feeds their fury. Though little fire grows great with little wind, Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all. So I to her, and so she yields to me; For I am rough, and woo not like a babe.
28121BAPTISTAWell mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed But be thou arm'd for some unhappy words.
28221PETRUCHIOAy, to the proof, as mountains are for winds, That shake not though they blow perpetually.
283(stage directions)21 Re-enter HORTENSIO, with his head broke
28421BAPTISTAHow now, my friend! Why dost thou look so pale?
28521HORTENSIOFor fear, I promise you, if I look pale.
28621BAPTISTAWhat, will my daughter prove a good musician?
28721HORTENSIOI think she'll sooner prove a soldier: Iron may hold with her, but never lutes.
28821BAPTISTAWhy, then thou canst not break her to the lute?
28921HORTENSIOWhy, no; for she hath broke the lute to me. I did but tell her she mistook her frets, And bow'd her hand to teach her fingering, When, with a most impatient devilish spirit, 'Frets, call you these?' quoth she 'I'll fume with them.' And with that word she struck me on the head, And through the instrument my pate made way; And there I stood amazed for a while, As on a pillory, looking through the lute, While she did call me rascal fiddler And twangling Jack, with twenty such vile terms, As she had studied to misuse me so.
29021PETRUCHIONow, by the world, it is a lusty wench; I love her ten times more than e'er I did. O, how I long to have some chat with her!
29121BAPTISTAWell, go with me, and be not so discomfited; Proceed in practice with my younger daughter; She's apt to learn, and thankful for good turns. Signior Petruchio, will you go with us, Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you?
29221PETRUCHIOI pray you do. Exeunt all but PETRUCHIO I'll attend her here, And woo her with some spirit when she comes. Say that she rail; why, then I'll tell her plain She sings as sweetly as a nightingale. Say that she frown; I'll say she looks as clear As morning roses newly wash'd with dew. Say she be mute, and will not speak a word; Then I'll commend her volubility, And say she uttereth piercing eloquence. If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks, As though she bid me stay by her a week; If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day When I shall ask the banns, and when be married. But here she comes; and now, Petruchio, speak. [Enter KATHERINA] Good morrow, Kate- for that's your name, I hear.
29321KATHERINAWell have you heard, but something hard of hearing: They call me Katherine that do talk of me.
29421PETRUCHIOYou lie, in faith, for you are call'd plain Kate, And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst; But, Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation- Hearing thy mildness prais'd in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am mov'd to woo thee for my wife.
29521KATHERINAMov'd! in good time! Let him that mov'd you hither Remove you hence. I knew you at the first You were a moveable.
29621PETRUCHIOWhy, what's a moveable?
29721KATHERINAA join'd-stool.
29821PETRUCHIOThou hast hit it. Come, sit on me.
29921KATHERINAAsses are made to bear, and so are you.
30021PETRUCHIOWomen are made to bear, and so are you.
30121KATHERINANo such jade as you, if me you mean.
30221PETRUCHIOAlas, good Kate, I will not burden thee! For, knowing thee to be but young and light-
30321KATHERINAToo light for such a swain as you to catch; And yet as heavy as my weight should be.
30421PETRUCHIOShould be! should- buzz!
30521KATHERINAWell ta'en, and like a buzzard.
30621PETRUCHIOO, slow-wing'd turtle, shall a buzzard take thee?
30721KATHERINAAy, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.
30821PETRUCHIOCome, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry.
30921KATHERINAIf I be waspish, best beware my sting.
31021PETRUCHIOMy remedy is then to pluck it out.
31121KATHERINAAy, if the fool could find it where it lies.
31221PETRUCHIOWho knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
31321KATHERINAIn his tongue.
31421PETRUCHIOWhose tongue?
31521KATHERINAYours, if you talk of tales; and so farewell.
31621PETRUCHIOWhat, with my tongue in your tail? Nay, come again, Good Kate; I am a gentleman.
31721KATHERINAThat I'll try. [She strikes him]
31821PETRUCHIOI swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again.
31921KATHERINASo may you lose your arms. If you strike me, you are no gentleman; And if no gentleman, why then no arms.
32021PETRUCHIOA herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!
32121KATHERINAWhat is your crest- a coxcomb?
32221PETRUCHIOA combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.
32321KATHERINANo cock of mine: you crow too like a craven.
32421PETRUCHIONay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.
32521KATHERINAIt is my fashion, when I see a crab.
32621PETRUCHIOWhy, here's no crab; and therefore look not sour.
32721KATHERINAThere is, there is.
32821PETRUCHIOThen show it me.
32921KATHERINAHad I a glass I would.
33021PETRUCHIOWhat, you mean my face?
33121KATHERINAWell aim'd of such a young one.
33221PETRUCHIONow, by Saint George, I am too young for you.
33321KATHERINAYet you are wither'd.
33421PETRUCHIO'Tis with cares.
33521KATHERINAI care not.
33621PETRUCHIONay, hear you, Kate- in sooth, you scape not so.
33721KATHERINAI chafe you, if I tarry; let me go.
33821PETRUCHIONo, not a whit; I find you passing gentle. 'Twas told me you were rough, and coy, and sullen, And now I find report a very liar; For thou art pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous, But slow in speech, yet sweet as springtime flowers. Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance, Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will, Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk; But thou with mildness entertain'st thy wooers; With gentle conference, soft and affable. Why does the world report that Kate doth limp? O sland'rous world! Kate like the hazel-twig Is straight and slender, and as brown in hue As hazel-nuts, and sweeter than the kernels. O, let me see thee walk. Thou dost not halt.
33921KATHERINAGo, fool, and whom thou keep'st command.
34021PETRUCHIODid ever Dian so become a grove As Kate this chamber with her princely gait? O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate; And then let Kate be chaste, and Dian sportful!
34121KATHERINAWhere did you study all this goodly speech?
34221PETRUCHIOIt is extempore, from my mother wit.
34321KATHERINAA witty mother! witless else her son.
34421PETRUCHIOAm I not wise?
34521KATHERINAYes, keep you warm.
34621PETRUCHIOMarry, so I mean, sweet Katherine, in thy bed. And therefore, setting all this chat aside, Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented That you shall be my wife your dowry greed on; And will you, nill you, I will marry you. Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn; For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty, Thy beauty that doth make me like thee well, Thou must be married to no man but me; For I am he am born to tame you, Kate, And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate Conformable as other household Kates. [Re-enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and TRANIO] Here comes your father. Never make denial; I must and will have Katherine to my wife.
34721BAPTISTANow, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?
34821PETRUCHIOHow but well, sir? how but well? It were impossible I should speed amiss.
34921BAPTISTAWhy, how now, daughter Katherine, in your dumps?
35021KATHERINACall you me daughter? Now I promise you You have show'd a tender fatherly regard To wish me wed to one half lunatic, A mad-cap ruffian and a swearing Jack, That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.
35121PETRUCHIOFather, 'tis thus: yourself and all the world That talk'd of her have talk'd amiss of her. If she be curst, it is for policy, For,she's not froward, but modest as the dove; She is not hot, but temperate as the morn; For patience she will prove a second Grissel, And Roman Lucrece for her chastity. And, to conclude, we have 'greed so well together That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.
35221KATHERINAI'll see thee hang'd on Sunday first.
35321GREMIOHark, Petruchio; she says she'll see thee hang'd first.
35421TRANIOIs this your speeding? Nay, then good-night our part!
35521PETRUCHIOBe patient, gentlemen. I choose her for myself; If she and I be pleas'd, what's that to you? 'Tis bargain'd 'twixt us twain, being alone, That she shall still be curst in company. I tell you 'tis incredible to believe. How much she loves me- O, the kindest Kate! She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath, That in a twink she won me to her love. O, you are novices! 'Tis a world to see, How tame, when men and women are alone, A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew. Give me thy hand, Kate; I will unto Venice, To buy apparel 'gainst the wedding-day. Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests; I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine.
35621BAPTISTAI know not what to say; but give me your hands. God send you joy, Petruchio! 'Tis a match.
35721GREMIO[with TRANIO:] Amen, say we; we will be witnesses.
35821PETRUCHIOFather, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu. I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace; We will have rings and things, and fine array; And kiss me, Kate; we will be married a Sunday.
359(stage directions)21 Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA severally
36021GREMIOWas ever match clapp'd up so suddenly?
36121BAPTISTAFaith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant's part, And venture madly on a desperate mart.
36221TRANIO'Twas a commodity lay fretting by you; 'Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.
36321BAPTISTAThe gain I seek is quiet in the match.
36421GREMIONo doubt but he hath got a quiet catch. But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter: Now is the day we long have looked for; I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.
36521TRANIOAnd I am one that love Bianca more Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.
36621GREMIOYoungling, thou canst not love so dear as I.
36721TRANIOGreybeard, thy love doth freeze.
36821GREMIOBut thine doth fry. Skipper, stand back; 'tis age that nourisheth.
36921TRANIOBut youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth.
37021BAPTISTAContent you, gentlemen; I will compound this strife. 'Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both That can assure my daughter greatest dower Shall have my Bianca's love. Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?
37121GREMIOFirst, as you know, my house within the city Is richly furnished with plate and gold, Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands; My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry; In ivory coffers I have stuff'd my crowns; In cypress chests my arras counterpoints, Costly apparel, tents, and canopies, Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss'd with pearl, Valance of Venice gold in needle-work; Pewter and brass, and all things that belongs To house or housekeeping. Then at my farm I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail, Six score fat oxen standing in my stalls, And all things answerable to this portion. Myself am struck in years, I must confess; And if I die to-morrow this is hers, If whilst I live she will be only mine.
37221TRANIOThat 'only' came well in. Sir, list to me: I am my father's heir and only son; If I may have your daughter to my wife, I'll leave her houses three or four as good Within rich Pisa's walls as any one Old Signior Gremio has in Padua; Besides two thousand ducats by the year Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure. What, have I pinch'd you, Signior Gremio?
37321GREMIOTwo thousand ducats by the year of land! [Aside] My land amounts not to so much in all.- That she shall have, besides an argosy That now is lying in Marseilles road. What, have I chok'd you with an argosy?
37421TRANIOGremio, 'tis known my father hath no less Than three great argosies, besides two galliasses, And twelve tight galleys. These I will assure her, And twice as much whate'er thou off'rest next.
37521GREMIONay, I have off'red all; I have no more; And she can have no more than all I have; If you like me, she shall have me and mine.
37621TRANIOWhy, then the maid is mine from all the world By your firm promise; Gremio is out-vied.
37721BAPTISTAI must confess your offer is the best; And let your father make her the assurance, She is your own. Else, you must pardon me; If you should die before him, where's her dower?
37821TRANIOThat's but a cavil; he is old, I young.
37921GREMIOAnd may not young men die as well as old?
38021BAPTISTAWell, gentlemen, I am thus resolv'd: on Sunday next you know My daughter Katherine is to be married; Now, on the Sunday following shall Bianca Be bride to you, if you make this assurance; If not, to Signior Gremio. And so I take my leave, and thank you both.
38121GREMIOAdieu, good neighbour. Exit BAPTISTA Now, I fear thee not. Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool To give thee all, and in his waning age Set foot under thy table. Tut, a toy! An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy. Exit
38221TRANIOA vengeance on your crafty withered hide! Yet I have fac'd it with a card of ten. 'Tis in my head to do my master good: I see no reason but suppos'd Lucentio Must get a father, call'd suppos'd Vincentio; And that's a wonder- fathers commonly Do get their children; but in this case of wooing A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.
383(stage directions)21 Exit
384(stage directions)31Enter LUCENTIO as CAMBIO, HORTENSIO as LICIO, and BIANCA
38531LUCENTIOFiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir. Have you so soon forgot the entertainment Her sister Katherine welcome'd you withal?
38631HORTENSIOBut, wrangling pedant, this is The patroness of heavenly harmony. Then give me leave to have prerogative; And when in music we have spent an hour, Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.
38731LUCENTIOPreposterous ass, that never read so far To know the cause why music was ordain'd! Was it not to refresh the mind of man After his studies or his usual pain? Then give me leave to read philosophy, And while I pause serve in your harmony.
38831HORTENSIOSirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.
38931BIANCAWhy, gentlemen, you do me double wrong To strive for that which resteth in my choice. I am no breeching scholar in the schools, I'll not be tied to hours nor 'pointed times, But learn my lessons as I please myself. And to cut off all strife: here sit we down; Take you your instrument, play you the whiles! His lecture will be done ere you have tun'd.
39031HORTENSIOYou'll leave his lecture when I am in tune?
39131LUCENTIOThat will be never- tune your instrument.
39231BIANCAWhere left we last?
39331LUCENTIOHere, madam: 'Hic ibat Simois, hic est Sigeia tellus, Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.'
39431BIANCAConstrue them.
39531LUCENTIO'Hic ibat' as I told you before- 'Simois' I am Lucentio- 'hic est' son unto Vincentio of Pisa- 'Sigeia tellus' disguised thus to get your love- 'Hic steterat' and that Lucentio that comes a-wooing- 'Priami' is my man Tranio- 'regia' bearing my port- 'celsa senis' that we might beguile the old pantaloon.
39631HORTENSIOMadam, my instrument's in tune.
39731BIANCALet's hear. O fie! the treble jars.
39831LUCENTIOSpit in the hole, man, and tune again.
39931BIANCANow let me see if I can construe it: 'Hic ibat Simois' I know you not- 'hic est Sigeia tellus' I trust you not- 'Hic steterat Priami' take heed he hear us not- 'regia' presume not- 'celsa senis' despair not.
40031HORTENSIOMadam, 'tis now in tune.
40131LUCENTIOAll but the bass.
40231HORTENSIOThe bass is right; 'tis the base knave that jars. [Aside] How fiery and forward our pedant is! Now, for my life, the knave doth court my love. Pedascule, I'll watch you better yet.
40331BIANCAIn time I may believe, yet I mistrust.
40431LUCENTIOMistrust it not- for sure, AEacides Was Ajax, call'd so from his grandfather.
40531BIANCAI must believe my master; else, I promise you, I should be arguing still upon that doubt; But let it rest. Now, Licio, to you. Good master, take it not unkindly, pray, That I have been thus pleasant with you both.
40631HORTENSIO[To LUCENTIO] You may go walk and give me leave awhile; My lessons make no music in three Parts.
40731LUCENTIOAre you so formal, sir? Well, I must wait, [Aside] And watch withal; for, but I be deceiv'd, Our fine musician groweth amorous.
40831HORTENSIOMadam, before you touch the instrument To learn the order of my fingering, I must begin with rudiments of art, To teach you gamut in a briefer sort, More pleasant, pithy, and effectual, Than hath been taught by any of my trade; And there it is in writing fairly drawn.
40931BIANCAWhy, I am past my gamut long ago.
41031HORTENSIOYet read the gamut of Hortensio.
41131BIANCA[Reads] '"Gamut" I am, the ground of all accord- "A re" to plead Hortensio's passion- "B mi" Bianca, take him for thy lord- "C fa ut" that loves with all affection- "D sol re" one clef, two notes have I- "E la mi" show pity or I die.' Call you this gamut? Tut, I like it not! Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice To change true rules for odd inventions.
412(stage directions)31 Enter a SERVANT
41331SERVANTMistress, your father prays you leave your books And help to dress your sister's chamber up. You know to-morrow is the wedding-day.
41431BIANCAFarewell, sweet masters, both; I must be gone.
415(stage directions)31 Exeunt BIANCA and SERVANT
41631LUCENTIOFaith, mistress, then I have no cause to stay.
417(stage directions)31 Exit
41831HORTENSIOBut I have cause to pry into this pedant; Methinks he looks as though he were in love. Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble To cast thy wand'ring eyes on every stale- Seize thee that list. If once I find thee ranging, Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing. Exit
419(stage directions)32Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO as LUCENTIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO as CAMBIO, and ATTENDANTS
42032BAPTISTA[To TRANIO] Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day That Katherine and Petruchio should be married, And yet we hear not of our son-in-law. What will be said? What mockery will it be To want the bridegroom when the priest attends To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage! What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?
42132KATHERINANo shame but mine; I must, forsooth, be forc'd To give my hand, oppos'd against my heart, Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen, Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure. I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour; And, to be noted for a merry man, He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, Make friends invited, and proclaim the banns; Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd. Now must the world point at poor Katherine, And say 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife, If it would please him come and marry her!'
42232TRANIOPatience, good Katherine, and Baptista too. Upon my life, Petruchio means but well, Whatever fortune stays him from his word. Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise; Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.
42332KATHERINAWould Katherine had never seen him though!
424(stage directions)32 Exit, weeping, followed by BIANCA and others
42532BAPTISTAGo, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep, For such an injury would vex a very saint; Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour. [Enter BIONDELLO] Master, master! News, and such old news as you never heard of!
42632BAPTISTAIs it new and old too? How may that be?
42732BIONDELLOWhy, is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming?
42832BAPTISTAIs he come?
42932BIONDELLOWhy, no, sir.
43032BAPTISTAWhat then?
43132BIONDELLOHe is coming.
43232BAPTISTAWhen will he be here?
43332BIONDELLOWhen he stands where I am and sees you there.
43432TRANIOBut, say, what to thine old news?
43532BIONDELLOWhy, Petruchio is coming- in a new hat and an old jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turn'd; a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another lac'd; an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse hipp'd, with an old motley saddle and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possess'd with the glanders and like to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoil'd with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, sway'd in the back and shoulder-shotten, near-legg'd before, and with a half-cheek'd bit, and a head-stall of sheep's leather which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times piec'd, and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there piec'd with pack-thread.
43632BAPTISTAWho comes with him?
43732BIONDELLOO, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparison'd like the horse- with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gart'red with a red and blue list; an old hat, and the humour of forty fancies prick'd in't for a feather; a monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman's lackey.
43832TRANIO'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion; Yet oftentimes lie goes but mean-apparell'd.
43932BAPTISTAI am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.
44032BIONDELLOWhy, sir, he comes not.
44132BAPTISTADidst thou not say he comes?
44232BIONDELLOWho? that Petruchio came?
44332BAPTISTAAy, that Petruchio came.
44432BIONDELLONo, sir; I say his horse comes with him on his back.
44532BAPTISTAWhy, that's all one.
44632BIONDELLONay, by Saint Jamy, I hold you a penny, A horse and a man Is more than one, And yet not many.
447(stage directions)32 Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO
44832PETRUCHIOCome, where be these gallants? Who's at home?
44932BAPTISTAYou are welcome, sir.
45032PETRUCHIOAnd yet I come not well.
45132BAPTISTAAnd yet you halt not.
45232TRANIONot so well apparell'd As I wish you were.
45332PETRUCHIOWere it better, I should rush in thus. But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride? How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown; And wherefore gaze this goodly company As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some comet or unusual prodigy?
45432BAPTISTAWhy, sir, you know this is your wedding-day. First were we sad, fearing you would not come; Now sadder, that you come so unprovided. Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, An eye-sore to our solemn festival!
45532TRANIOAnd tell us what occasion of import Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife, And sent you hither so unlike yourself?
45632PETRUCHIOTedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear; Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforced to digress, Which at more leisure I will so excuse As you shall well be satisfied withal. But where is Kate? I stay too long from her; The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.
45732TRANIOSee not your bride in these unreverent robes; Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.
45832PETRUCHIONot I, believe me; thus I'll visit her.
45932BAPTISTABut thus, I trust, you will not marry her.
46032PETRUCHIOGood sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with words; To me she's married, not unto my clothes. Could I repair what she will wear in me As I can change these poor accoutrements, 'Twere well for Kate and better for myself. But what a fool am I to chat with you, When I should bid good-morrow to my bride And seal the title with a lovely kiss!
461(stage directions)32 Exeunt PETRUCHIO and PETRUCHIO
46232TRANIOHe hath some meaning in his mad attire. We will persuade him, be it possible, To put on better ere he go to church.
46332BAPTISTAI'll after him and see the event of this.
464(stage directions)32 Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO, BIONDELLO, and ATTENDENTS
46532TRANIOBut to her love concerneth us to add Her father's liking; which to bring to pass, As I before imparted to your worship, I am to get a man- whate'er he be It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn- And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa, And make assurance here in Padua Of greater sums than I have promised. So shall you quietly enjoy your hope And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
46632LUCENTIOWere it not that my fellow schoolmaster Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly, 'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage; Which once perform'd, let all the world say no, I'll keep mine own despite of all the world.
46732TRANIOThat by degrees we mean to look into And watch our vantage in this business; We'll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio, The narrow-prying father, Minola, The quaint musician, amorous Licio- All for my master's sake, Lucentio. [Re-enter GREMIO] Signior Gremio, came you from the church?
46832GREMIOAs willingly as e'er I came from school.
46932TRANIOAnd is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
47032GREMIOA bridegroom, say you? 'Tis a groom indeed, A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
47132TRANIOCurster than she? Why, 'tis impossible.
47232GREMIOWhy, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
47332TRANIOWhy, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.
47432GREMIOTut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool, to him! I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest Should ask if Katherine should be his wife, 'Ay, by gogs-wouns' quoth he, and swore so loud That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book; And as he stoop'd again to take it up, This mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff That down fell priest and book, and book and priest. 'Now take them up,' quoth he 'if any list.'
47532TRANIOWhat said the wench, when he rose again?
47632GREMIOTrembled and shook, for why he stamp'd and swore As if the vicar meant to cozen him. But after many ceremonies done He calls for wine: 'A health!' quoth he, as if He had been abroad, carousing to his mates After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel, And threw the sops all in the sexton's face, Having no other reason But that his beard grew thin and hungerly And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking. This done, he took the bride about the neck, And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo. And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame; And after me, I know, the rout is coming. Such a mad marriage never was before. Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. [Music plays] Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and train
47732PETRUCHIOGentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains. I know you think to dine with me to-day, And have prepar'd great store of wedding cheer But so it is- my haste doth call me hence, And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
47832BAPTISTAIs't possible you will away to-night?
47932PETRUCHIOI must away to-day before night come. Make it no wonder; if you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay. And, honest company, I thank you all That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife. Dine with my father, drink a health to me. For I must hence; and farewell to you all.
48032TRANIOLet us entreat you stay till after dinner.
48132PETRUCHIOIt may not be.
48232GREMIOLet me entreat you.
48332PETRUCHIOIt cannot be.
48432KATHERINALet me entreat you.
48532PETRUCHIOI am content.
48632KATHERINAAre you content to stay?
48732PETRUCHIOI am content you shall entreat me stay; But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
48832KATHERINANow, if you love me, stay.
48932PETRUCHIOGrumio, my horse.
49032GRUMIOAy, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.
49132KATHERINANay, then, Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day; No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself. The door is open, sir; there lies your way; You may be jogging whiles your boots are green; For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself. 'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom That take it on you at the first so roundly.
49232PETRUCHIOO Kate, content thee; prithee be not angry.
49332KATHERINAI will be angry; what hast thou to do? Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.
49432GREMIOAy, marry, sir, now it begins to work.
49532KATHERINAGentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner. I see a woman may be made a fool If she had not a spirit to resist.
49632PETRUCHIOThey shall go forward, Kate, at thy command. Obey the bride, you that attend on her; Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead; Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves. But for my bonny Kate, she must with me. Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret; I will be master of what is mine own- She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house, My household stuff, my field, my barn, My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing, And here she stands; touch her whoever dare; I'll bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua. Grumio, Draw forth thy weapon; we are beset with thieves; Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man. Fear not, sweet wench; they shall not touch thee, Kate; I'll buckler thee against a million.
497(stage directions)32 Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, and GRUMIO
49832BAPTISTANay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.
49932GREMIOWent they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
50032TRANIOOf all mad matches, never was the like.
50132LUCENTIOMistress, what's your opinion of your sister?
50232BIANCAThat, being mad herself, she's madly mated.
50332GREMIOI warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.
50432BAPTISTANeighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no junkets at the feast. Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place; And let Bianca take her sister's room.
50532TRANIOShall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
50632BAPTISTAShe shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.
507(stage directions)41Enter GRUMIO
50841GRUMIOFie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so ray'd? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis!
509(stage directions)41 Enter CURTIS
51041CURTISWho is that calls so coldly?
51141GRUMIOA piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
51241CURTISIs my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
51341GRUMIOO, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.
51441CURTISIs she so hot a shrew as she's reported?
51541GRUMIOShe was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
51641CURTISAway, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.
51741GRUMIOAm I but three inches? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand- she being now at hand- thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?
51841CURTISI prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?
51941GRUMIOA cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
52041CURTISThere's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news?
52141GRUMIOWhy, 'Jack boy! ho, boy!' and as much news as thou wilt.
52241CURTISCome, you are so full of cony-catching!
52341GRUMIOWhy, therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimm'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and everything in order?
52441CURTISAll ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.
52541GRUMIOFirst know my horse is tired; my master and mistress fall'n out.
52641CURTISHow?
52741GRUMIOOut of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
52841CURTISLet's ha't, good Grumio.
52941GRUMIOLend thine ear.
53041CURTISHere.
53141GRUMIOThere. [Striking him]
53241CURTISThis 'tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
53341GRUMIOAnd therefore 'tis call'd a sensible tale; and this cuff was but to knock at your car and beseech list'ning. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress-
53441CURTISBoth of one horse?
53541GRUMIOWhat's that to thee?
53641CURTISWhy, a horse.
53741GRUMIOTell thou the tale. But hadst thou not cross'd me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoil'd, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she pray'd that never pray'd before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper- with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc'd to thy grave.
53841CURTISBy this reck'ning he is more shrew than she.
53941GRUMIOAy, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly comb'd, their blue coats brush'd and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my mastcr's horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
54041CURTISThey are.
54141GRUMIOCall them forth.
54241CURTISDo you hear, ho? You must meet my master, to countenance my mistress.
54341GRUMIOWhy, she hath a face of her own.
54441CURTISWho knows not that?
54541GRUMIOThou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.
54641CURTISI call them forth to credit her.
54741GRUMIOWhy, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
548(stage directions)41 Enter four or five SERVINGMEN
54941NATHANIELWelcome home, Grumio!
55041PHILIPHow now, Grumio!
55141JOSEPHWhat, Grumio!
55241NICHOLASFellow Grumio!
55341NATHANIELHow now, old lad!
55441GRUMIOWelcome, you!- how now, you!- what, you!- fellow, you!- and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
55541NATHANIELAll things is ready. How near is our master?
55641GRUMIOE'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not- Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.
557(stage directions)41 Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA
55841PETRUCHIOWhere be these knaves? What, no man at door To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse! Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?
55941ALL SERVANTSHere, here, sir; here, sir.
56041PETRUCHIOHere, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms! What, no attendance? no regard? no duty? Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
56141GRUMIOHere, sir; as foolish as I was before.
56241PETRUCHIOYOU peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge! Did I not bid thee meet me in the park And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
56341GRUMIONathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made, And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' th' heel; There was no link to colour Peter's hat, And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing; There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory; The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly; Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.
56441PETRUCHIOGo, rascals, go and fetch my supper in. [Exeunt some of the SERVINGMEN] [Sings] Where is the life that late I led? Where are those- Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud! [Re-enter SERVANTS with supper] Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry. Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when? [Sings] It was the friar of orders grey, As he forth walked on his way- Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry; Take that, and mend the plucking off the other. [Strikes him] Be merry, Kate. Some water, here, what, ho! [Enter one with water] Where's my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence, And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither: [Exit SERVINGMAN] One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with. Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water? Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily. You whoreson villain! will you let it fall? [Strikes him]
56541KATHERINAPatience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.
56641PETRUCHIOA whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave! Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach. Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I? What's this? Mutton?
56741FIRST SERVANTAy.
56841PETRUCHIOWho brought it?
56941PETERI.
57041PETRUCHIO'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat. What dogs are these? Where is the rascal cook? How durst you villains bring it from the dresser And serve it thus to me that love it not? There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all; [Throws the meat, etc., at them] You heedless joltheads and unmanner'd slaves! What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.
571(stage directions)41[Exeunt SERVANTS]
57241KATHERINAI pray you, husband, be not so disquiet; The meat was well, if you were so contented.
57341PETRUCHIOI tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away, And I expressly am forbid to touch it; For it engenders choler, planteth anger; And better 'twere that both of us did fast, Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric, Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh. Be patient; to-morrow 't shall be mended. And for this night we'll fast for company. Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber. Exeunt
574(stage directions)41 Re-enter SERVANTS severally
57541NATHANIELPeter, didst ever see the like?
57641PETERHe kills her in her own humour.
577(stage directions)41 Re-enter CURTIS
57841GRUMIOWhere is he?
57941CURTISIn her chamber. Making a sermon of continency to her, And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul, Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak. And sits as one new risen from a dream. Away, away! for he is coming hither. Exeunt
580(stage directions)41 Re-enter PETRUCHIO
58141PETRUCHIOThus have I politicly begun my reign, And 'tis my hope to end successfully. My falcon now is sharp and passing empty. And till she stoop she must not be full-gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way I have to man my haggard, To make her come, and know her keeper's call, That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites That bate and beat, and will not be obedient. She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat; Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not; As with the meat, some undeserved fault I'll find about the making of the bed; And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster, This way the coverlet, another way the sheets; Ay, and amid this hurly I intend That all is done in reverend care of her- And, in conclusion, she shall watch all night; And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl And with the clamour keep her still awake. This is a way to kill a wife with kindness, And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour. He that knows better how to tame a shrew, Now let him speak; 'tis charity to show. Exit
582(stage directions)42Enter TRANIO as LUCENTIO, and HORTENSIO as LICIO
58342TRANIOIs 't possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca Doth fancy any other but Lucentio? I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.
58442HORTENSIOSir, to satisfy you in what I have said, Stand by and mark the manner of his teaching.
585(stage directions)42 [They stand aside]
586(stage directions)42 Enter BIANCA, and LUCENTIO as CAMBIO
58742LUCENTIONow, mistress, profit you in what you read?
58842BIANCAWhat, master, read you, First resolve me that.
58942LUCENTIOI read that I profess, 'The Art to Love.'
59042BIANCAAnd may you prove, sir, master of your art!
59142LUCENTIOWhile you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart.
592(stage directions)42 [They retire]
59342HORTENSIOQuick proceeders, marry! Now tell me, I pray, You that durst swear that your Mistress Bianca Lov'd none in the world so well as Lucentio.
59442TRANIOO despiteful love! unconstant womankind! I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.
59542HORTENSIOMistake no more; I am not Licio. Nor a musician as I seem to be; But one that scorn to live in this disguise For such a one as leaves a gentleman And makes a god of such a cullion. Know, sir, that I am call'd Hortensio.
59642TRANIOSignior Hortensio, I have often heard Of your entire affection to Bianca; And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness, I will with you, if you be so contented, Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.
59742HORTENSIOSee, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio, Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow Never to woo her more, but do forswear her, As one unworthy all the former favours That I have fondly flatter'd her withal.
59842TRANIOAnd here I take the like unfeigned oath, Never to marry with her though she would entreat; Fie on her! See how beastly she doth court him!
59942HORTENSIOWould all the world but he had quite forsworn! For me, that I may surely keep mine oath, I will be married to a wealtlly widow Ere three days pass, which hath as long lov'd me As I have lov'd this proud disdainful haggard. And so farewell, Signior Lucentio. Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, Shall win my love; and so I take my leave, In resolution as I swore before. Exit
60042TRANIOMistress Bianca, bless you with such grace As 'longeth to a lover's blessed case! Nay, I have ta'en you napping, gentle love, And have forsworn you with Hortensio.
60142BIANCATranio, you jest; but have you both forsworn me?
60242TRANIOMistress, we have.
60342LUCENTIOThen we are rid of Licio.
60442TRANIOI' faith, he'll have a lusty widow now, That shall be woo'd and wedded in a day.
60542BIANCAGod give him joy!
60642TRANIOAy, and he'll tame her.
60742BIANCAHe says so, Tranio.
60842TRANIOFaith, he is gone unto the taming-school.
60942BIANCAThe taming-school! What, is there such a place?
61042TRANIOAy, mistress; and Petruchio is the master, That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long, To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.
611(stage directions)42 Enter BIONDELLO
61242BIONDELLOO master, master I have watch'd so long That I am dog-weary; but at last I spied An ancient angel coming down the hill Will serve the turn.
61342TRANIOWhat is he, Biondello?
61442BIONDELLOMaster, a mercatante or a pedant, I know not what; but formal in apparel, In gait and countenance surely like a father.
61542LUCENTIOAnd what of him, Tranio?
61642TRANIOIf he be credulous and trust my tale, I'll make him glad to seem Vincentio, And give assurance to Baptista Minola As if he were the right Vincentio. Take in your love, and then let me alone.
617(stage directions)42 Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
618(stage directions)42 Enter a PEDANT
61942PEDANTGod save you, sir!
62042TRANIOAnd you, sir; you are welcome. Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest?
62142PEDANTSir, at the farthest for a week or two; But then up farther, and as far as Rome; And so to Tripoli, if God lend me life.
62242TRANIOWhat countryman, I pray?
62342PEDANTOf Mantua.
62442TRANIOOf Mantua, sir? Marry, God forbid, And come to Padua, careless of your life!
62542PEDANTMy life, sir! How, I pray? For that goes hard.
62642TRANIO'Tis death for any one in Mantua To come to Padua. Know you not the cause? Your ships are stay'd at Venice; and the Duke, For private quarrel 'twixt your Duke and him, Hath publish'd and proclaim'd it openly. 'Tis marvel- but that you are but newly come, You might have heard it else proclaim'd about.
62742PEDANTAlas, sir, it is worse for me than so! For I have bills for money by exchange From Florence, and must here deliver them.
62842TRANIOWell, sir, to do you courtesy, This will I do, and this I will advise you- First, tell me, have you ever been at Pisa?
62942PEDANTAy, sir, in Pisa have I often been, Pisa renowned for grave citizens.
63042TRANIOAmong them know you one Vincentio?
63142PEDANTI know him not, but I have heard of him, A merchant of incomparable wealth.
63242TRANIOHe is my father, sir; and, sooth to say, In count'nance somewhat doth resemble you.
63342BIONDELLO[Aside] As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one.
63442TRANIOTo save your life in this extremity, This favour will I do you for his sake; And think it not the worst of all your fortunes That you are like to Sir Vincentio. His name and credit shall you undertake, And in my house you shall be friendly lodg'd; Look that you take upon you as you should. You understand me, sir. So shall you stay Till you have done your business in the city. If this be court'sy, sir, accept of it.
63542PEDANTO, sir, I do; and will repute you ever The patron of my life and liberty.
63642TRANIOThen go with me to make the matter good. This, by the way, I let you understand: My father is here look'd for every day To pass assurance of a dow'r in marriage 'Twixt me and one Baptista's daughter here. In all these circumstances I'll instruct you. Go with me to clothe you as becomes you. Exeunt
637(stage directions)43Enter KATHERINA and GRUMIO
63843GRUMIONo, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.
63943KATHERINAThe more my wrong, the more his spite appears. What, did he marry me to famish me? Beggars that come unto my father's door Upon entreaty have a present alms; If not, elsewhere they meet with charity; But I, who never knew how to entreat, Nor never needed that I should entreat, Am starv'd for meat, giddy for lack of sleep; With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed; And that which spites me more than all these wants- He does it under name of perfect love; As who should say, if I should sleep or eat, 'Twere deadly sickness or else present death. I prithee go and get me some repast; I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
64043GRUMIOWhat say you to a neat's foot?
64143KATHERINA'Tis passing good; I prithee let me have it.
64243GRUMIOI fear it is too choleric a meat. How say you to a fat tripe finely broil'd?
64343KATHERINAI like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.
64443GRUMIOI cannot tell; I fear 'tis choleric. What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?
64543KATHERINAA dish that I do love to feed upon.
64643GRUMIOAy, but the mustard is too hot a little.
64743KATHERINAWhy then the beef, and let the mustard rest.
64843GRUMIONay, then I will not; you shall have the mustard, Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
64943KATHERINAThen both, or one, or anything thou wilt.
65043GRUMIOWhy then the mustard without the beef.
65143KATHERINAGo, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave, [Beats him] That feed'st me with the very name of meat. Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you That triumph thus upon my misery! Go, get thee gone, I say.
652(stage directions)43 Enter PETRUCHIO, and HORTENSIO with meat
65343PETRUCHIOHow fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
65443HORTENSIOMistress, what cheer?
65543KATHERINAFaith, as cold as can be.
65643PETRUCHIOPluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me. Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am, To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee. I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks. What, not a word? Nay, then thou lov'st it not, And all my pains is sorted to no proof. Here, take away this dish.
65743KATHERINAI pray you, let it stand.
65843PETRUCHIOThe poorest service is repaid with thanks; And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.
65943KATHERINAI thank you, sir.
66043HORTENSIOSignior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame. Come, Mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.
66143PETRUCHIO[Aside] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.- Much good do it unto thy gentle heart! Kate, eat apace. And now, my honey love, Will we return unto thy father's house And revel it as bravely as the best, With silken coats and caps, and golden rings, With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things, With scarfs and fans and double change of brav'ry. With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knav'ry. What, hast thou din'd? The tailor stays thy leisure, To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure. [Enter TAILOR] Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments; Lay forth the gown. [Enter HABERDASHER] What news with you, sir?
66243HABERDASHERHere is the cap your worship did bespeak.
66343PETRUCHIOWhy, this was moulded on a porringer; A velvet dish. Fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy; Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell, A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap. Away with it. Come, let me have a bigger.
66443KATHERINAI'll have no bigger; this doth fit the time, And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
66543PETRUCHIOWhen you are gentle, you shall have one too, And not till then.
66643HORTENSIO[Aside] That will not be in haste.
66743KATHERINAWhy, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak; And speak I will. I am no child, no babe. Your betters have endur'd me say my mind, And if you cannot, best you stop your ears. My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or else my heart, concealing it, will break; And rather than it shall, I will be free Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.
66843PETRUCHIOWhy, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap, A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie; I love thee well in that thou lik'st it not.
66943KATHERINALove me or love me not, I like the cap; And it I will have, or I will have none. Exit HABERDASHER
67043PETRUCHIOThy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see't. O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here? What's this? A sleeve? 'Tis like a demi-cannon. What, up and down, carv'd like an appletart? Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash, Like to a censer in a barber's shop. Why, what a devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?
67143HORTENSIO[Aside] I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.
67243TAILORYou bid me make it orderly and well, According to the fashion and the time.
67343PETRUCHIOMarry, and did; but if you be rememb'red, I did not bid you mar it to the time. Go, hop me over every kennel home, For you shall hop without my custom, sir. I'll none of it; hence! make your best of it.
67443KATHERINAI never saw a better fashion'd gown, More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable; Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
67543PETRUCHIOWhy, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.
67643TAILORShe says your worship means to make a puppet of her.
67743PETRUCHIOO monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble, Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail, Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou- Brav'd in mine own house with a skein of thread! Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant; Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv'st! I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.
67843TAILORYour worship is deceiv'd; the gown is made Just as my master had direction. Grumio gave order how it should be done.
67943GRUMIOI gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.
68043TAILORBut how did you desire it should be made?
68143GRUMIOMarry, sir, with needle and thread.
68243TAILORBut did you not request to have it cut?
68343GRUMIOThou hast fac'd many things.
68443TAILORI have.
68543GRUMIOFace not me. Thou hast brav'd many men; brave not me. I will neither be fac'd nor brav'd. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces. Ergo, thou liest.
68643TAILORWhy, here is the note of the fashion to testify.
68743PETRUCHIORead it.
68843GRUMIOThe note lies in's throat, if he say I said so.
68943TAILOR[Reads] 'Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown'-
69043GRUMIOMaster, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown bread; I said a gown.
69143PETRUCHIOProceed.
69243TAILOR[Reads] 'With a small compass'd cape'-
69343GRUMIOI confess the cape.
69443TAILOR[Reads] 'With a trunk sleeve'-
69543GRUMIOI confess two sleeves.
69643TAILOR[Reads] 'The sleeves curiously cut.'
69743PETRUCHIOAy, there's the villainy.
69843GRUMIOError i' th' bill, sir; error i' th' bill! I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sew'd up again; and that I'll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.
69943TAILORThis is true that I say; an I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it.
70043GRUMIOI am for thee straight; take thou the bill, give me thy meteyard, and spare not me.
70143HORTENSIOGod-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.
70243PETRUCHIOWell, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
70343GRUMIOYou are i' th' right, sir; 'tis for my mistress.
70443PETRUCHIOGo, take it up unto thy master's use.
70543GRUMIOVillain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress' gown for thy master's use!
70643PETRUCHIOWhy, sir, what's your conceit in that?
70743GRUMIOO, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for. Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use! O fie, fie, fie!
70843PETRUCHIO[Aside] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.- Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.
70943HORTENSIOTailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow; Take no unkindness of his hasty words. Away, I say; commend me to thy master. Exit TAILOR
71043PETRUCHIOWell, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's Even in these honest mean habiliments; Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor; For 'tis the mind that makes the body rich; And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds, So honour peereth in the meanest habit. What, is the jay more precious than the lark Because his feathers are more beautiful? Or is the adder better than the eel Because his painted skin contents the eye? O no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse For this poor furniture and mean array. If thou account'st it shame, lay it on me; And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith To feast and sport us at thy father's house. Go call my men, and let us straight to him; And bring our horses unto Long-lane end; There will we mount, and thither walk on foot. Let's see; I think 'tis now some seven o'clock, And well we may come there by dinner-time.
71143KATHERINAI dare assure you, sir, 'tis almost two, And 'twill be supper-time ere you come there.
71243PETRUCHIOIt shall be seven ere I go to horse. Look what I speak, or do, or think to do, You are still crossing it. Sirs, let 't alone; I will not go to-day; and ere I do, It shall be what o'clock I say it is.
71343HORTENSIOWhy, so this gallant will command the sun.
714(stage directions)43[Exeunt]
715(stage directions)44Enter TRANIO as LUCENTIO, and the PEDANT dressed like VINCENTIO
71644TRANIOSir, this is the house; please it you that I call?
71744PEDANTAy, what else? And, but I be deceived, Signior Baptista may remember me Near twenty years ago in Genoa, Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.
71844TRANIO'Tis well; and hold your own, in any case, With such austerity as longeth to a father.
719(stage directions)44 Enter BIONDELLO
72044PEDANTI warrant you. But, sir, here comes your boy; 'Twere good he were school'd.
72144TRANIOFear you not him. Sirrah Biondello, Now do your duty throughly, I advise you. Imagine 'twere the right Vincentio.
72244BIONDELLOTut, fear not me.
72344TRANIOBut hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?
72444BIONDELLOI told him that your father was at Venice, And that you look'd for him this day in Padua.
72544TRANIOTh'art a tall fellow; hold thee that to drink. Here comes Baptista. Set your countenance, sir. [Enter BAPTISTA, and LUCENTIO as CAMBIO] Signior Baptista, you are happily met. [To To the PEDANT] Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of; I pray you stand good father to me now; Give me Bianca for my patrimony.
72644PEDANTSoft, son! Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio Made me acquainted with a weighty cause Of love between your daughter and himself; And- for the good report I hear of you, And for the love he beareth to your daughter, And she to him- to stay him not too long, I am content, in a good father's care, To have him match'd; and, if you please to like No worse than I, upon some agreement Me shall you find ready and willing With one consent to have her so bestow'd; For curious I cannot be with you, Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.
72744BAPTISTASir, pardon me in what I have to say. Your plainness and your shortness please me well. Right true it is your son Lucentio here Doth love my daughter, and she loveth him, Or both dissemble deeply their affections; And therefore, if you say no more than this, That like a father you will deal with him, And pass my daughter a sufficient dower, The match is made, and all is done- Your son shall have my daughter with consent.
72844TRANIOI thank you, sir. Where then do you know best We be affied, and such assurance ta'en As shall with either part's agreement stand?
72944BAPTISTANot in my house, Lucentio, for you know Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants; Besides, old Gremio is heark'ning still, And happily we might be interrupted.
73044TRANIOThen at my lodging, an it like you. There doth my father lie; and there this night We'll pass the business privately and well. Send for your daughter by your servant here; My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently. The worst is this, that at so slender warning You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.
73144BAPTISTAIt likes me well. Cambio, hie you home, And bid Bianca make her ready straight; And, if you will, tell what hath happened- Lucentio's father is arriv'd in Padua, And how she's like to be Lucentio's wife. Exit LUCENTIO
73244BIONDELLOI pray the gods she may, with all my heart.
73344TRANIODally not with the gods, but get thee gone. [Exit BIONDELLO] Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way? Welcome! One mess is like to be your cheer; Come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.
73444BAPTISTAI follow you. Exeunt
735(stage directions)44 Re-enter LUCENTIO as CAMBIO, and BIONDELLO
73644BIONDELLOCambio.
73744LUCENTIOWhat say'st thou, Biondello?
73844BIONDELLOYou saw my master wink and laugh upon you?
73944LUCENTIOBiondello, what of that?
74044BIONDELLOFaith, nothing; but has left me here behind to expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.
74144LUCENTIOI pray thee moralize them.
74244BIONDELLOThen thus: Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son.
74344LUCENTIOAnd what of him?
74444BIONDELLOHis daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.
74544LUCENTIOAnd then?
74644BIONDELLOThe old priest at Saint Luke's church is at your command at all hours.
74744LUCENTIOAnd what of all this?
74844BIONDELLOI cannot tell, except they are busied about a counterfeit assurance. Take your assurance of her, cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum; to th' church take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses. If this be not that you look for, I have more to say, But bid Bianca farewell for ever and a day.
74944LUCENTIOHear'st thou, Biondello?
75044BIONDELLOI cannot tarry. I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir; and so adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke's to bid the priest be ready to come against you come with your appendix.
751(stage directions)44Exit
75244LUCENTIOI may and will, if she be so contented. She will be pleas'd; then wherefore should I doubt? Hap what hap may, I'll roundly go about her; It shall go hard if Cambio go without her. Exit
753(stage directions)45Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO, and SERVANTS
75445PETRUCHIOCome on, a God's name; once more toward our father's. Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!
75545KATHERINAThe moon? The sun! It is not moonlight now.
75645PETRUCHIOI say it is the moon that shines so bright.
75745KATHERINAI know it is the sun that shines so bright.
75845PETRUCHIONow by my mother's son, and that's myself, It shall be moon, or star, or what I list, Or ere I journey to your father's house. Go on and fetch our horses back again. Evermore cross'd and cross'd; nothing but cross'd!
75945HORTENSIOSay as he says, or we shall never go.
76045KATHERINAForward, I pray, since we have come so far, And be it moon, or sun, or what you please; And if you please to call it a rush-candle, Henceforth I vow it shall be so for me.
76145PETRUCHIOI say it is the moon.
76245KATHERINAI know it is the moon.
76345PETRUCHIONay, then you lie; it is the blessed sun.
76445KATHERINAThen, God be bless'd, it is the blessed sun; But sun it is not, when you say it is not; And the moon changes even as your mind. What you will have it nam'd, even that it is, And so it shall be so for Katherine.
76545HORTENSIOPetruchio, go thy ways, the field is won.
76645PETRUCHIOWell, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run, And not unluckily against the bias. But, soft! Company is coming here. [Enter VINCENTIO] [To VINCENTIO] Good-morrow, gentle mistress; where away?- Tell me, sweet Kate, and tell me truly too, Hast thou beheld a fresher gentlewoman? Such war of white and red within her cheeks! What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty As those two eyes become that heavenly face? Fair lovely maid, once more good day to thee. Sweet Kate, embrace her for her beauty's sake.
76745HORTENSIO'A will make the man mad, to make a woman of him.
76845KATHERINAYoung budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet, Whither away, or where is thy abode? Happy the parents of so fair a child; Happier the man whom favourable stars Allots thee for his lovely bed-fellow.
76945PETRUCHIOWhy, how now, Kate, I hope thou art not mad! This is a man, old, wrinkled, faded, withered, And not a maiden, as thou sayst he is.
77045KATHERINAPardon, old father, my mistaking eyes, That have been so bedazzled with the sun That everything I look on seemeth green; Now I perceive thou art a reverend father. Pardon, I pray thee, for my mad mistaking.
77145PETRUCHIODo, good old grandsire, and withal make known Which way thou travellest- if along with us, We shall be joyful of thy company.
77245VINCENTIOFair sir, and you my merry mistress, That with your strange encounter much amaz'd me, My name is call'd Vincentio, my dwelling Pisa, And bound I am to Padua, there to visit A son of mine, which long I have not seen.
77345PETRUCHIOWhat is his name?
77445VINCENTIOLucentio, gentle sir.
77545PETRUCHIOHappily met; the happier for thy son. And now by law, as well as reverend age, I may entitle thee my loving father: The sister to my wife, this gentlewoman, Thy son by this hath married. Wonder not, Nor be not grieved- she is of good esteem, Her dowry wealthy, and of worthy birth; Beside, so qualified as may beseem The spouse of any noble gentleman. Let me embrace with old Vincentio; And wander we to see thy honest son, Who will of thy arrival be full joyous.
77645VINCENTIOBut is this true; or is it else your pleasure, Like pleasant travellers, to break a jest Upon the company you overtake?
77745HORTENSIOI do assure thee, father, so it is.
77845PETRUCHIOCome, go along, and see the truth hereof; For our first merriment hath made thee jealous.
779(stage directions)45 Exeunt all but HORTENSIO
78045HORTENSIOWell, Petruchio, this has put me in heart. Have to my widow; and if she be froward, Then hast thou taught Hortensio to be untoward. Exit
781(stage directions)51Enter BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA; GREMIO is out before
78251BIONDELLOSoftly and swiftly, sir, for the priest is ready.
78351LUCENTIOI fly, Biondello; but they may chance to need the at home, therefore leave us.
78451BIONDELLONay, faith, I'll see the church a your back, and then come back to my master's as soon as I can.
785(stage directions)51 Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO
78651GREMIOI marvel Cambio comes not all this while.
787(stage directions)51 Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, and ATTENDANTS
78851PETRUCHIOSir, here's the door; this is Lucentio's house; My father's bears more toward the market-place; Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.
78951VINCENTIOYou shall not choose but drink before you go; I think I shall command your welcome here, And by all likelihood some cheer is toward. [Knocks]
79051GREMIOThey're busy within; you were best knock louder.
791(stage directions)51 [PEDANT looks out of the window]
79251PEDANTWhat's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?
79351VINCENTIOIs Signior Lucentio within, sir?
79451PEDANTHe's within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.
79551VINCENTIOWhat if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make merry withal?
79651PEDANTKeep your hundred pounds to yourself; he shall need none so long as I live.
79751PETRUCHIONay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.
79851PEDANTThou liest: his father is come from Padua, and here looking out at the window.
79951VINCENTIOArt thou his father?
80051PEDANTAy, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.
80151PETRUCHIO[To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman! Why, this is flat knavery to take upon you another man's name.
80251PEDANTLay hands on the villain; I believe 'a means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.
803(stage directions)51 Re-enter BIONDELLO
80451BIONDELLOI have seen them in the church together. God send 'em good shipping! But who is here? Mine old master, Vincentio! Now we are undone and brought to nothing.
80551VINCENTIO[Seeing BIONDELLO] Come hither, crack-hemp.
80651BIONDELLOI hope I may choose, sir.
80751VINCENTIOCome hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
80851BIONDELLOForgot you! No, sir. I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.
80951VINCENTIOWhat, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master's father, Vincentio?
81051BIONDELLOWhat, my old worshipful old master? Yes, marry, sir; see where he looks out of the window.
81151VINCENTIOIs't so, indeed? [He beats BIONDELLO]
81251BIONDELLOHelp, help, help! Here's a madman will murder me.
813(stage directions)51 Exit
81451PEDANTHelp, son! help, Signior Baptista! Exit from above
81551PETRUCHIOPrithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of this controversy. [They stand aside] Re-enter PEDANT below; BAPTISTA, TRANIO, and SERVANTS
81651TRANIOSir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
81751VINCENTIOWhat am I, sir? Nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet, a velvet hose, a scarlet cloak, and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! While I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.
81851TRANIOHow now! what's the matter?
81951BAPTISTAWhat, is the man lunatic?
82051TRANIOSir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what 'cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.
82151VINCENTIOThy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
82251BAPTISTAYou mistake, sir; you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?
82351VINCENTIOHis name! As if I knew not his name! I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.
82451PEDANTAway, away, mad ass! His name is Lucentio; and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vicentio.
82551VINCENTIOLucentio! O, he hath murd'red his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the Duke's name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son, Lucentio?
82651TRANIOCall forth an officer. [Enter one with an OFFICER] Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.
82751VINCENTIOCarry me to the gaol!
82851GREMIOStay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.
82951BAPTISTATalk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.
83051GREMIOTake heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch'd in this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.
83151PEDANTSwear if thou dar'st.
83251GREMIONay, I dare not swear it.
83351TRANIOThen thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
83451GREMIOYes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
83551BAPTISTAAway with the dotard; to the gaol with him!
83651VINCENTIOThus strangers may be hal'd and abus'd. O monstrous villain!
837(stage directions)51 Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA
83851BIONDELLOO, we are spoil'd; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.
839(stage directions)51Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and PEDANT, as fast as may be
84051LUCENTIO[Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.
84151VINCENTIOLives my sweet son?
84251BIANCAPardon, dear father.
84351BAPTISTAHow hast thou offended? Where is Lucentio?
84451LUCENTIOHere's Lucentio, Right son to the right Vincentio, That have by marriage made thy daughter mine, While counterfeit supposes blear'd thine eyne.
84551GREMIOHere's packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!
84651VINCENTIOWhere is that damned villain, Tranio, That fac'd and brav'd me in this matter so?
84751BAPTISTAWhy, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
84851BIANCACambio is chang'd into Lucentio.
84951LUCENTIOLove wrought these miracles. Bianca's love Made me exchange my state with Tranio, While he did bear my countenance in the town; And happily I have arrived at the last Unto the wished haven of my bliss. What Tranio did, myself enforc'd him to; Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
85051VINCENTIOI'll slit the villain's nose that would have sent me to the gaol.
85151BAPTISTA[To LUCENTIO] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my daughter without asking my good will?
85251VINCENTIOFear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I will in to be revenged for this villainy. Exit
85351BAPTISTAAnd I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit
85451LUCENTIOLook not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.
855(stage directions)51 Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
85651GREMIOMy cake is dough, but I'll in among the rest; Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit
85751KATHERINAHusband, let's follow to see the end of this ado.
85851PETRUCHIOFirst kiss me, Kate, and we will.
85951KATHERINAWhat, in the midst of the street?
86051PETRUCHIOWhat, art thou asham'd of me?
86151KATHERINANo, sir; God forbid; but asham'd to kiss.
86251PETRUCHIOWhy, then, let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.
86351KATHERINANay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.
86451PETRUCHIOIs not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late. Exeunt
865(stage directions)52Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the PEDANT, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO, and WIDOW. The SERVINGMEN with TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO, bringing in a banquet
86652LUCENTIOAt last, though long, our jarring notes agree; And time it is when raging war is done To smile at scapes and perils overblown. My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, While I with self-same kindness welcome thine. Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina, And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow, Feast with the best, and welcome to my house. My banquet is to close our stomachs up After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down; For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]
86752PETRUCHIONothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!
86852BAPTISTAPadua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.
86952PETRUCHIOPadua affords nothing but what is kind.
87052HORTENSIOFor both our sakes I would that word were true.
87152PETRUCHIONow, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
87252WIDOWThen never trust me if I be afeard.
87352PETRUCHIOYOU are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.
87452WIDOWHe that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
87552PETRUCHIORoundly replied.
87652KATHERINAMistress, how mean you that?
87752WIDOWThus I conceive by him.
87852PETRUCHIOConceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
87952HORTENSIOMy widow says thus she conceives her tale.
88052PETRUCHIOVery well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
88152KATHERINA'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.' I pray you tell me what you meant by that.
88252WIDOWYour husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe; And now you know my meaning.
88352KATHERINAA very mean meaning.
88452WIDOWRight, I mean you.
88552KATHERINAAnd I am mean, indeed, respecting you.
88652PETRUCHIOTo her, Kate!
88752HORTENSIOTo her, widow!
88852PETRUCHIOA hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
88952HORTENSIOThat's my office.
89052PETRUCHIOSpoke like an officer- ha' to thee, lad.
891(stage directions)52 [Drinks to HORTENSIO]
89252BAPTISTAHow likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
89352GREMIOBelieve me, sir, they butt together well.
89452BIANCAHead and butt! An hasty-witted body Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
89552VINCENTIOAy, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?
89652BIANCAAy, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.
89752PETRUCHIONay, that you shall not; since you have begun, Have at you for a bitter jest or two.
89852BIANCAAm I your bird? I mean to shift my bush, And then pursue me as you draw your bow. You are welcome all.
899(stage directions)52 Exeunt BIANCA, KATHERINA, and WIDOW
90052PETRUCHIOShe hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio, This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.
90152TRANIOO, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound, Which runs himself, and catches for his master.
90252PETRUCHIOA good swift simile, but something currish.
90352TRANIO'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself; 'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
90452BAPTISTAO, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
90552LUCENTIOI thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
90652HORTENSIOConfess, confess; hath he not hit you here?
90752PETRUCHIO'A has a little gall'd me, I confess; And, as the jest did glance away from me, 'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.
90852BAPTISTANow, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
90952PETRUCHIOWell, I say no; and therefore, for assurance, Let's each one send unto his wife, And he whose wife is most obedient, To come at first when he doth send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose.
91052HORTENSIOContent. What's the wager?
91152LUCENTIOTwenty crowns.
91252PETRUCHIOTwenty crowns? I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound, But twenty times so much upon my wife.
91352LUCENTIOA hundred then.
91452HORTENSIOContent.
91552PETRUCHIOA match! 'tis done.
91652HORTENSIOWho shall begin?
91752LUCENTIOThat will I. Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
91852BIONDELLOI go. Exit
91952BAPTISTASon, I'll be your half Bianca comes.
92052LUCENTIOI'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself. [Re-enter BIONDELLO] How now! what news?
92152BIONDELLOSir, my mistress sends you word That she is busy and she cannot come.
92252PETRUCHIOHow! She's busy, and she cannot come! Is that an answer?
92352GREMIOAy, and a kind one too. Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
92452PETRUCHIOI hope better.
92552HORTENSIOSirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife To come to me forthwith. Exit BIONDELLO
92652PETRUCHIOO, ho! entreat her! Nay, then she must needs come.
92752HORTENSIOI am afraid, sir, Do what you can, yours will not be entreated. [Re-enter BIONDELLO] Now, where's my wife?
92852BIONDELLOShe says you have some goodly jest in hand: She will not come; she bids you come to her.
92952PETRUCHIOWorse and worse; she will not come! O vile, Intolerable, not to be endur'd! Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress; Say I command her come to me. Exit GRUMIO
93052HORTENSIOI know her answer.
93152PETRUCHIOWhat?
93252HORTENSIOShe will not.
93352PETRUCHIOThe fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
934(stage directions)52 Re-enter KATHERINA
93552BAPTISTANow, by my holidame, here comes Katherina!
93652KATHERINAWhat is your sir, that you send for me?
93752PETRUCHIOWhere is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?
93852KATHERINAThey sit conferring by the parlour fire.
93952PETRUCHIOGo, fetch them hither; if they deny to come. Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands. Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
940(stage directions)52[Exit KATHERINA]
94152LUCENTIOHere is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.
94252HORTENSIOAnd so it is. I wonder what it bodes.
94352PETRUCHIOMarry, peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life, An awful rule, and right supremacy; And, to be short, what not that's sweet and happy.
94452BAPTISTANow fair befall thee, good Petruchio! The wager thou hast won; and I will add Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns; Another dowry to another daughter, For she is chang'd, as she had never been.
94552PETRUCHIONay, I will win my wager better yet, And show more sign of her obedience, Her new-built virtue and obedience. [Re-enter KATHERINA with BIANCA and WIDOW] See where she comes, and brings your froward wives As prisoners to her womanly persuasion. Katherine, that cap of yours becomes you not: Off with that bauble, throw it underfoot.
946(stage directions)52 [KATHERINA complies]
94752WIDOWLord, let me never have a cause to sigh Till I be brought to such a silly pass!
94852BIANCAFie! what a foolish duty call you this?
94952LUCENTIOI would your duty were as foolish too; The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca, Hath cost me a hundred crowns since supper-time!
95052BIANCAThe more fool you for laying on my duty.
95152PETRUCHIOKatherine, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
95252WIDOWCome, come, you're mocking; we will have no telling.
95352PETRUCHIOCome on, I say; and first begin with her.
95452WIDOWShe shall not.
95552PETRUCHIOI say she shall. And first begin with her.
95652KATHERINAFie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow, And dart not scornful glances from those eyes To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor. It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads, Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds, And in no sense is meet or amiable. A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled- Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty; And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance commits his body To painful labour both by sea and land, To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe; And craves no other tribute at thy hands But love, fair looks, and true obedience- Too little payment for so great a debt. Such duty as the subject owes the prince, Even such a woman oweth to her husband; And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel And graceless traitor to her loving lord? I am asham'd that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway, When they are bound to serve, love, and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth, Unapt to toil and trouble in the world, But that our soft conditions and our hearts Should well agree with our external parts? Come, come, you forward and unable worms! My mind hath been as big as one of yours, My heart as great, my reason haply more, To bandy word for word and frown for frown; But now I see our lances are but straws, Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare, That seeming to be most which we indeed least are. Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot, And place your hands below your husband's foot; In token of which duty, if he please, My hand is ready, may it do him ease.
95752PETRUCHIOWhy, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.
95852LUCENTIOWell, go thy ways, old lad, for thou shalt ha't.
95952VINCENTIO'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.
96052LUCENTIOBut a harsh hearing when women are froward.
96152PETRUCHIOCome, Kate, we'll to bed. We three are married, but you two are sped. [To LUCENTIO] 'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white; And being a winner, God give you good night!
962(stage directions)52[Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA]
96352HORTENSIONow go thy ways; thou hast tam'd a curst shrow.
96452LUCENTIO'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tam'd so.
965(stage directions)52[Exeunt]


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