The Second Part of Henry IV

A historical play written in 1597 by William Shakespeare

ORDERSTAGEACTSCENECHARACTERLINE
1(stage directions)01Enter RUMOUR, painted full of tongues
201RUMOUROpen your ears; for which of you will stop The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks? I, from the orient to the drooping west, Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold The acts commenced on this ball of earth. Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, The which in every language I pronounce, Stuffing the ears of men with false reports. I speak of peace while covert emnity, Under the smile of safety, wounds the world; And who but Rumour, who but only I, Make fearful musters and prepar'd defence, Whiles the big year, swoln with some other grief, Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war, And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures, And of so easy and so plain a stop That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, The still-discordant wav'ring multitude, Can play upon it. But what need I thus My well-known body to anatomize Among my household? Why is Rumour here? I run before King Harry's victory, Who, in a bloody field by Shrewsbury, Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops, Quenching the flame of bold rebellion Even with the rebels' blood. But what mean I To speak so true at first? My office is To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword, And that the King before the Douglas' rage Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death. This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns Between that royal field of Shrewsbury And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone, Where Hotspur's father, old Northumberland, Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on, And not a man of them brings other news Than they have learnt of me. From Rumour's tongues They bring smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs.
3(stage directions)11Enter LORD BARDOLPH
411LORD BARDOLPHWho keeps the gate here, ho? [The PORTER opens the gate] Where is the Earl?
511PORTERWhat shall I say you are?
611LORD BARDOLPHTell thou the Earl That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here.
711PORTERHis lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard. Please it your honour knock but at the gate, And he himself will answer.
8(stage directions)11 Enter NORTHUMBERLAND
911LORD BARDOLPHHere comes the Earl. Exit PORTER
1011NORTHUMBERLANDWhat news, Lord Bardolph? Every minute now Should be the father of some stratagem. The times are wild; contention, like a horse Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose And bears down all before him.
1111LORD BARDOLPHNoble Earl, I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury.
1211NORTHUMBERLANDGood, an God will!
1311LORD BARDOLPHAs good as heart can wish. The King is almost wounded to the death; And, in the fortune of my lord your son, Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts Kill'd by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John, And Westmoreland, and Stafford, fled the field; And Harry Monmouth's brawn, the hulk Sir John, Is prisoner to your son. O, such a day, So fought, so followed, and so fairly won, Came not till now to dignify the times, Since Cxsar's fortunes!
1411NORTHUMBERLANDHow is this deriv'd? Saw you the field? Came you from Shrewsbury?
1511LORD BARDOLPHI spake with one, my lord, that came from A gentleman well bred and of good name, That freely rend'red me these news for true.
16(stage directions)11 Enter TRAVERS
1711NORTHUMBERLANDHere comes my servant Travers, whom I sent On Tuesday last to listen after news.
1811LORD BARDOLPHMy lord, I over-rode him on the way; And he is furnish'd with no certainties More than he haply may retail from me.
1911NORTHUMBERLANDNow, Travers, what good tidings comes with you?
2011TRAVERSMy lord, Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me back With joyful tidings; and, being better hors'd, Out-rode me. After him came spurring hard A gentleman, almost forspent with speed, That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse. He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him I did demand what news from Shrewsbury. He told me that rebellion had bad luck, And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold. With that he gave his able horse the head And, bending forward, struck his armed heels Against the panting sides of his poor jade Up to the rowel-head; and starting so, He seem'd in running to devour the way, Staying no longer question.
2111NORTHUMBERLANDHa! Again: Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold? Of Hotspur, Coldspur? that rebellion Had met ill luck?
2211LORD BARDOLPHMy lord, I'll tell you what: If my young lord your son have not the day, Upon mine honour, for a silken point I'll give my barony. Never talk of it.
2311NORTHUMBERLANDWhy should that gentleman that rode by Travers Give then such instances of loss?
2411LORD BARDOLPHWho--he? He was some hilding fellow that had stol'n The horse he rode on and, upon my life, Spoke at a venture. Look, here comes more news.
25(stage directions)11 Enter Morton
2611NORTHUMBERLANDYea, this man's brow, like to a title-leaf, Foretells the nature of a tragic volume. So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood Hath left a witness'd usurpation. Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?
2711MORTONI ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord; Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask To fright our party.
2811NORTHUMBERLANDHow doth my son and brother? Thou tremblest; and the whiteness in thy cheek Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand. Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless, So dull, so dread in look, so woe-begone, Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night And would have told him half his Troy was burnt; But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue, And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it. This thou wouldst say: 'Your son did thus and thus; Your brother thus; so fought the noble Douglas'-- Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds; But in the end, to stop my ear indeed, Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise, Ending with 'Brother, son, and all, are dead.'
2911MORTONDouglas is living, and your brother, yet; But for my lord your son--
3011NORTHUMBERLANDWhy, he is dead. See what a ready tongue suspicion hath! He that but fears the thing he would not know Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes That what he fear'd is chanced. Yet speak, Morton; Tell thou an earl his divination lies, And I will take it as a sweet disgrace And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.
3111MORTONYou are too great to be by me gainsaid; Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain.
3211NORTHUMBERLANDYet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead. I see a strange confession in thine eye; Thou shak'st thy head, and hold'st it fear or sin To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so: The tongue offends not that reports his death; And he doth sin that doth belie the dead, Not he which says the dead is not alive. Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news Hath but a losing office, and his tongue Sounds ever after as a sullen bell, Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.
3311LORD BARDOLPHI cannot think, my lord, your son is dead.
3411MORTONI am sorry I should force you to believe That which I would to God I had not seen; But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state, Rend'ring faint quittance, wearied and out-breath'd, To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat down The never-daunted Percy to the earth, From whence with life he never more sprung up. In few, his death--whose spirit lent a fire Even to the dullest peasant in his camp-- Being bruited once, took fire and heat away From the best-temper'd courage in his troops; For from his metal was his party steeled; Which once in him abated, all the rest Turn'd on themselves, like dull and heavy lead. And as the thing that's heavy in itself Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed, So did our men, heavy in Hotspur's loss, Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety, Fly from the field. Then was that noble Worcester Too soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot, The bloody Douglas, whose well-labouring sword Had three times slain th' appearance of the King, Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame Of those that turn'd their backs, and in his flight, Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all Is that the King hath won, and hath sent out A speedy power to encounter you, my lord, Under the conduct of young Lancaster And Westmoreland. This is the news at full.
3511NORTHUMBERLANDFor this I shall have time enough to mourn. In poison there is physic; and these news, Having been well, that would have made me sick, Being sick, have in some measure made me well; And as the wretch whose fever-weak'ned joints, Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life, Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire Out of his keeper's arms, even so my limbs, Weak'ned with grief, being now enrag'd with grief, Are thrice themselves. Hence, therefore, thou nice crutch! A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel Must glove this hand; and hence, thou sickly coif! Thou art a guard too wanton for the head Which princes, flesh'd with conquest, aim to hit. Now bind my brows with iron; and approach The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring To frown upon th' enrag'd Northumberland! Let heaven kiss earth! Now let not Nature's hand Keep the wild flood confin'd! Let order die! And let this world no longer be a stage To feed contention in a ling'ring act; But let one spirit of the first-born Cain Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set On bloody courses, the rude scene may end And darkness be the burier of the dead!
3611LORD BARDOLPHThis strained passion doth you wrong, my lord.
3711MORTONSweet Earl, divorce not wisdom from your honour. The lives of all your loving complices Lean on your health; the which, if you give o'er To stormy passion, must perforce decay. You cast th' event of war, my noble lord, And summ'd the account of chance before you said 'Let us make head.' It was your pre-surmise That in the dole of blows your son might drop. You knew he walk'd o'er perils on an edge, More likely to fall in than to get o'er; You were advis'd his flesh was capable Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit Would lift him where most trade of danger rang'd; Yet did you say 'Go forth'; and none of this, Though strongly apprehended, could restrain The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall'n, Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth More than that being which was like to be?
3811LORD BARDOLPHWe all that are engaged to this loss Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas That if we wrought out life 'twas ten to one; And yet we ventur'd, for the gain propos'd Chok'd the respect of likely peril fear'd; And since we are o'erset, venture again. Come, we will put forth, body and goods.
3911MORTON'Tis more than time. And, my most noble lord, I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth: The gentle Archbishop of York is up With well-appointed pow'rs. He is a man Who with a double surety binds his followers. My lord your son had only but the corpse, But shadows and the shows of men, to fight; For that same word 'rebellion' did divide The action of their bodies from their souls; And they did fight with queasiness, constrain'd, As men drink potions; that their weapons only Seem'd on our side, but for their spirits and souls This word 'rebellion'--it had froze them up, As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop Turns insurrection to religion. Suppos'd sincere and holy in his thoughts, He's follow'd both with body and with mind; And doth enlarge his rising with the blood Of fair King Richard, scrap'd from Pomfret stones; Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause; Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land, Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke; And more and less do flock to follow him.
4011NORTHUMBERLANDI knew of this before; but, to speak truth, This present grief had wip'd it from my mind. Go in with me; and counsel every man The aptest way for safety and revenge. Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed-- Never so few, and never yet more need. Exeunt
41(stage directions)12Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, with his PAGE bearing his sword and buckler
4212FALSTAFFSirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?
4312PAGEHe said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy water; for the party that owed it, he might have moe diseases than knew for.
4412FALSTAFFMen of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to invent that intends to laughter, more than I invent or is invented me. I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that hath overwhelm'd all her litter but one. If the Prince put thee my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never mann'd an agate till now; but I will inset you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master, for a jewel--the juvenal, the Prince your master, chin is not yet fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may when he will, 'tis not a hair amiss yet. He may keep it still a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of and yet he'll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he's out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dommelton the satin for my short cloak and my slops?
4512PAGEHe said, sir, you should procure him better assurance Bardolph. He would not take his band and yours; he liked not security.
4612FALSTAFFLet him be damn'd, like the Glutton; pray God his be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! A rascal-yea-forsooth bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security! The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through them in honest taking-up, then they must stand upon security. had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to it with security. I look'd 'a should have sent me two and yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it; yet cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light Where's Bardolph?
4712PAGEHe's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship horse.
4812FALSTAFFI bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were mann'd, hors'd, and wiv'd.
49(stage directions)12 Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT
5012PAGESir, here comes the nobleman that committed the Prince for striking him about Bardolph.
5112FALSTAFFWait close; I will not see him.
5212CHIEF JUSTICEWhat's he that goes there?
5312SERVANTFalstaff, an't please your lordship.
5412CHIEF JUSTICEHe that was in question for the robb'ry?
5512SERVANTHe, my lord; but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to Lord John of Lancaster.
5612CHIEF JUSTICEWhat, to York? Call him back again.
5712SERVANTSir John Falstaff!
5812FALSTAFFBoy, tell him I am deaf.
5912PAGEYou must speak louder; my master is deaf.
6012CHIEF JUSTICEI am sure he is, to the hearing of anything Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
6112SERVANTSir John!
6212FALSTAFFWhat! a young knave, and begging! Is there not wars? there not employment? Doth not the King lack subjects? Do not rebels need soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
6312SERVANTYou mistake me, sir.
6412FALSTAFFWhy, sir, did I say you were an honest man? Setting knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat had said so.
6512SERVANTI pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you you in your throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man.
6612FALSTAFFI give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that grows to me! If thou get'st any leave of me, hang me; if thou tak'st leave, thou wert better be hang'd. You hunt counter. Hence! Avaunt!
6712SERVANTSir, my lord would speak with you.
6812CHIEF JUSTICESir John Falstaff, a word with you.
6912FALSTAFFMy good lord! God give your lordship good time of am glad to see your lordship abroad. I heard say your was sick; I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your health.
7012CHIEF JUSTICESir John, I sent for you before your expedition Shrewsbury.
7112FALSTAFFAn't please your lordship, I hear his Majesty is with some discomfort from Wales.
7212CHIEF JUSTICEI talk not of his Majesty. You would not come sent for you.
7312FALSTAFFAnd I hear, moreover, his Highness is fall'n into same whoreson apoplexy.
7412CHIEF JUSTICEWell God mend him! I pray you let me speak with
7512FALSTAFFThis apoplexy, as I take it, is a kind of lethargy, please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the blood, a tingling.
7612CHIEF JUSTICEWhat tell you me of it? Be it as it is.
7712FALSTAFFIt hath it original from much grief, from study, and perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of his in Galen; it is a kind of deafness.
7812CHIEF JUSTICEI think you are fall'n into the disease, for you hear not what I say to you.
7912FALSTAFFVery well, my lord, very well. Rather an't please is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, I am troubled withal.
8012CHIEF JUSTICETo punish you by the heels would amend the of your ears; and I care not if I do become your physician.
8112FALSTAFFI am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient. lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed a scruple itself.
8212CHIEF JUSTICEI sent for you, when there were matters against for your life, to come speak with me.
8312FALSTAFFAs I was then advis'd by my learned counsel in the of this land-service, I did not come.
8412CHIEF JUSTICEWell, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.
8512FALSTAFFHe that buckles himself in my belt cannot live in
8612CHIEF JUSTICEYour means are very slender, and your waste is great.
8712FALSTAFFI would it were otherwise; I would my means were and my waist slenderer.
8812CHIEF JUSTICEYou have misled the youthful Prince.
8912FALSTAFFThe young Prince hath misled me. I am the fellow with great belly, and he my dog.
9012CHIEF JUSTICEWell, I am loath to gall a new-heal'd wound. day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your night's exploit on Gadshill. You may thank th' unquiet time your quiet o'erposting that action.
9112FALSTAFFMy lord--
9212CHIEF JUSTICEBut since all is well, keep it so: wake not a sleeping wolf.
9312FALSTAFFTo wake a wolf is as bad as smell a fox.
9412CHIEF JUSTICEWhat! you are as a candle, the better part burnt out.
9512FALSTAFFA wassail candle, my lord--all tallow; if I did say wax, my growth would approve the truth.
9612CHIEF JUSTICEThere is not a white hair in your face but have his effect of gravity.
9712FALSTAFFHis effect of gravy, gravy,
9812CHIEF JUSTICEYou follow the young Prince up and down, like ill angel.
9912FALSTAFFNot so, my lord. Your ill angel is light; but hope that looks upon me will take me without weighing. And yet in respects, I grant, I cannot go--I cannot tell. Virtue is of little regard in these costermongers' times that true valour turn'd berod; pregnancy is made a tapster, and his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You that are old consider not the capacities of that are young; you do measure the heat of our livers with bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the vaward of youth, must confess, are wags too.
10012CHIEF JUSTICEDo you set down your name in the scroll of that are written down old with all the characters of age? you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John!
10112FALSTAFFMy lord, I was born about three of the clock in the afternoon, with a white head and something a round belly. For voice--I have lost it with hallooing and singing of anthems. approve my youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him. the box of the ear that the Prince gave you--he gave it like rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have him for it; and the young lion repents--marry, not in ashes sackcloth, but in new silk and old sack.
10212CHIEF JUSTICEWell, God send the Prince a better companion!
10312FALSTAFFGod send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid hands of him.
10412CHIEF JUSTICEWell, the King hath sever'd you. I hear you are going with Lord John of Lancaster against the Archbishop and Earl of Northumberland.
10512FALSTAFFYea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look pray, all you that kiss my Lady Peace at home, that our join not in a hot day; for, by the Lord, I take but two out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it hot day, and I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can out his head but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last but it was alway yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common. If ye will needs am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God my were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion.
10612CHIEF JUSTICEWell, be honest, be honest; and God bless your expedition!
10712FALSTAFFWill your lordship lend me a thousand pound to forth?
10812CHIEF JUSTICENot a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend me to my cousin Westmoreland.
109(stage directions)12 Exeunt CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT
11012FALSTAFFIf I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can more separate age and covetousness than 'a can part young and lechery; but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
11112PAGESir?
11212FALSTAFFWhat money is in my purse?
11312PAGESeven groats and two pence.
11412FALSTAFFI can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse; borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster; to the Prince; this to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to Mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceiv'd the first white hair of my chin. About it; you know where to find me. [Exit PAGE] A pox of this gout! or, a this pox! for the one or the other plays the rogue with my toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars for my and my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit make use of anything. I will turn diseases to commodity.
115(stage directions)13Enter the ARCHBISHOP, THOMAS MOWBRAY the EARL MARSHAL, LORD HASTINGS, and LORD BARDOLPH
11613ARCHBISHOPThus have you heard our cause and known our means; And, my most noble friends, I pray you all Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes- And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it?
11713MOWBRAYI well allow the occasion of our amis; But gladly would be better satisfied How, in our means, we should advance ourselves To look with forehead bold and big enough Upon the power and puissance of the King.
11813HASTINGSOur present musters grow upon the file To five and twenty thousand men of choice; And our supplies live largely in the hope Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns With an incensed fire of injuries.
11913LORD BARDOLPHThe question then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus: Whether our present five and twenty thousand May hold up head without Northumberland?
12013HASTINGSWith him, we may.
12113LORD BARDOLPHYea, marry, there's the point; But if without him we be thought too feeble, My judgment is we should not step too far Till we had his assistance by the hand; For, in a theme so bloody-fac'd as this, Conjecture, expectation, and surmise Of aids incertain, should not be admitted.
12213ARCHBISHOP'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph; for indeed It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury.
12313LORD BARDOLPHIt was, my lord; who lin'd himself with hope, Eating the air and promise of supply, Flatt'ring himself in project of a power Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts; And so, with great imagination Proper to madmen, led his powers to death, And, winking, leapt into destruction.
12413HASTINGSBut, by your leave, it never yet did hurt To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope.
12513LORD BARDOLPHYes, if this present quality of war- Indeed the instant action, a cause on foot- Lives so in hope, as in an early spring We see th' appearing buds; which to prove fruit Hope gives not so much warrant, as despair That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build, We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then we must rate the cost of the erection; Which if we find outweighs ability, What do we then but draw anew the model In fewer offices, or at least desist To build at all? Much more, in this great work-- Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down And set another up--should we survey The plot of situation and the model, Consent upon a sure foundation, Question surveyors, know our own estate How able such a work to undergo- To weigh against his opposite; or else We fortify in paper and in figures, Using the names of men instead of men; Like one that draws the model of a house Beyond his power to build it; who, half through, Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost A naked subject to the weeping clouds And waste for churlish winter's tyranny.
12613HASTINGSGrant that our hopes--yet likely of fair birth-- Should be still-born, and that we now possess'd The utmost man of expectation, I think we are so a body strong enough, Even as we are, to equal with the King.
12713LORD BARDOLPHWhat, is the King but five and twenty thousand?
12813HASTINGSTo us no more; nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph; For his divisions, as the times do brawl, Are in three heads: one power against the French, And one against Glendower; perforce a third Must take up us. So is the unfirm King In three divided; and his coffers sound With hollow poverty and emptiness.
12913ARCHBISHOPThat he should draw his several strengths together And come against us in full puissance Need not be dreaded.
13013HASTINGSIf he should do so, He leaves his back unarm'd, the French and Welsh Baying at his heels. Never fear that.
13113LORD BARDOLPHWho is it like should lead his forces hither?
13213HASTINGSThe Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland; Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth; But who is substituted against the French I have no certain notice.
13313ARCHBISHOPLet us on, And publish the occasion of our arms. The commonwealth is sick of their own choice; Their over-greedy love hath surfeited. An habitation giddy and unsure Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart. O thou fond many, with what loud applause Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke Before he was what thou wouldst have him be! And being now trimm'd in thine own desires, Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up. So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard; And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up, And howl'st to find it. What trust is in these times? They that, when Richard liv'd, would have him die Are now become enamour'd on his grave. Thou that threw'st dust upon his goodly head, When through proud London he came sighing on After th' admired heels of Bolingbroke, Criest now 'O earth, yield us that king again, And take thou this!' O thoughts of men accurs'd! Past and to come seems best; things present, worst.
13413MOWBRAYShall we go draw our numbers, and set on?
13513HASTINGSWe are time's subjects, and time bids be gone.
136(stage directions)13 Exeunt
137(stage directions)21Enter HOSTESS with two officers, FANG and SNARE
13821HOSTESSMaster Fang, have you ent'red the action?
13921FANGIt is ent'red.
14021HOSTESSWhere's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman? Will 'a to't?
14121FANGSirrah, where's Snare?
14221HOSTESSO Lord, ay! good Master Snare.
14321SNAREHere, here.
14421FANGSnare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
14521HOSTESSYea, good Master Snare; I have ent'red him and all.
14621SNAREIt may chance cost some of our lives, for he will stab.
14721HOSTESSAlas the day! take heed of him; he stabb'd me in mine house, and that most beastly. In good faith, 'a cares not mischief he does, if his weapon be out; he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
14821FANGIf I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
14921HOSTESSNo, nor I neither; I'll be at your elbow.
15021FANGAn I but fist him once; an 'a come but within my vice!
15121HOSTESSI am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him Good Master Snare, let him not scape. 'A comes continuantly Pie-corner--saving your manhoods--to buy a saddle; and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert Street, to Master Smooth's the silkman. I pray you, since my exion is ent'red, and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a lone woman to bear; and I have borne, and borne, and borne; have been fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, from day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass a beast, to bear every knave's wrong. [Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, PAGE, and BARDOLPH] Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and Master Snare; do me, do me, do me your offices.
15221FALSTAFFHow now! whose mare's dead? What's the matter?
15321FANGSir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
15421FALSTAFFAway, varlets! Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off the head. Throw the quean in the channel.
15521HOSTESSThrow me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue! Murder, murder! thou honeysuckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and King's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed; a man-queller and a woman-queller.
15621FALSTAFFKeep them off, Bardolph.
15721FANGA rescue! a rescue!
15821HOSTESSGood people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wot, wot thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hemp-seed!
15921PAGEAway, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.
160(stage directions)21 Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and his men
16121CHIEF JUSTICEWhat is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!
16221HOSTESSGood my lord, be good to me. I beseech you, stand to
16321CHIEF JUSTICEHow now, Sir John! what, are you brawling here? Doth this become your place, your time, and business? You should have been well on your way to York. Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st thou upon him?
16421HOSTESSO My most worshipful lord, an't please your Grace, I poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
16521CHIEF JUSTICEFor what sum?
16621HOSTESSIt is more than for some, my lord; it is for all--all have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all substance into that fat belly of his. But I will have some of out again, or I will ride thee a nights like a mare.
16721FALSTAFFI think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage of ground to get up.
16821CHIEF JUSTICEHow comes this, Sir John? Fie! What man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come her own?
16921FALSTAFFWhat is the gross sum that I owe thee?
17021HOSTESSMarry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, my Dolphin chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire, Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head for liking his father to singing-man of Windsor--thou didst swear me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? in to borrow a mess of vinegar, telling us she had a good prawns, whereby thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee they were ill for green wound? And didst thou not, when was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity such poor people, saying that ere long they should call me And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch the thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it, if thou canst.
17121FALSTAFFMy lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been good case, and, the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.
17221CHIEF JUSTICESir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practis'd upon easy yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your both in purse and in person.
17321HOSTESSYea, in truth, my lord.
17421CHIEF JUSTICEPray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, unpay the villainy you have done with her; the one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repentance.
17521FALSTAFFMy lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. call honourable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my duty rememb'red, I will not be your suitor. I say to you I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the King's affairs.
17621CHIEF JUSTICEYou speak as having power to do wrong; but th' effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.
17721FALSTAFFCome hither, hostess.
178(stage directions)21 Enter GOWER
17921CHIEF JUSTICENow, Master Gower, what news?
18021GOWERThe King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells. [Gives a letter]
18121FALSTAFFAs I am a gentleman!
18221HOSTESSFaith, you said so before.
18321FALSTAFFAs I am a gentleman! Come, no more words of it.
18421HOSTESSBy this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
18521FALSTAFFGlasses, glasses, is the only drinking; and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the the German hunting, in water-work, is worth a thousand of bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten if thou canst. Come, and 'twere not for thy humours, there's a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
18621HOSTESSPray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles; i' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la!
18721FALSTAFFLet it alone; I'll make other shift. You'll be a fool still.
18821HOSTESSWell, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope you'll come to supper. you'll pay me all together?
18921FALSTAFFWill I live? [To BARDOLPH] Go, with her, with her; on, hook on.
19021HOSTESSWill you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?
19121FALSTAFFNo more words; let's have her.
192(stage directions)21 Exeunt HOSTESS, BARDOLPH, and OFFICERS
19321CHIEF JUSTICEI have heard better news.
19421FALSTAFFWhat's the news, my lord?
19521CHIEF JUSTICEWhere lay the King to-night?
19621GOWERAt Basingstoke, my lord.
19721FALSTAFFI hope, my lord, all's well. What is the news, my
19821CHIEF JUSTICECome all his forces back?
19921GOWERNo; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse, Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster, Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
20021FALSTAFFComes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?
20121CHIEF JUSTICEYou shall have letters of me presently. Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
20221FALSTAFFMy lord!
20321CHIEF JUSTICEWhat's the matter?
20421FALSTAFFMaster Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?
20521GOWERI must wait upon my good lord here, I thank you, good John.
20621CHIEF JUSTICESir John, you loiter here too long, being you take soldiers up in counties as you go.
20721FALSTAFFWill you sup with me, Master Gower?
20821CHIEF JUSTICEWhat foolish master taught you these manners, John?
20921FALSTAFFMaster Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap tap, and so part fair.
21021CHIEF JUSTICENow, the Lord lighten thee! Thou art a great
211(stage directions)21 Exeunt
212(stage directions)22Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS
21322HENRY5Before God, I am exceeding weary.
21422POINSIs't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not attach'd one of so high blood.
21522HENRY5Faith, it does me; though it discolours the complexion my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me desire small beer?
21622POINSWhy, a prince should not be so loosely studied as to remember so weak a composition.
21722HENRY5Belike then my appetite was not-princely got; for, by troth, I do now remember the poor creature, small beer. But indeed these humble considerations make me out of love with greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name, to know thy face to-morrow, or to take note how many pair of stockings thou hast--viz., these, and those that were thy peach-colour'd ones--or to bear the inventory of thy shirts- one for superfluity, and another for use! But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou not done a great while, because the rest of thy low countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland. And God knows those that bawl out of the ruins of thy linen shall inherit kingdom; but the midwives say the children are not in the whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are mightily strengthened.
21822POINSHow ill it follows, after you have laboured so hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good young princes do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is?
21922HENRY5Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
22022POINSYes, faith; and let it be an excellent good thing.
22122HENRY5It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than
22222POINSGo to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.
22322HENRY5Marry, I tell thee it is not meet that I should be sad, my father is sick; albeit I could tell to thee--as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend--I could sad and sad indeed too.
22422POINSVery hardly upon such a subject.
22522HENRY5By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the devil's as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency: let the try the man. But I tell thee my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.
22622POINSThe reason?
22722HENRY5What wouldst thou think of me if I should weep?
22822POINSI would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
22922HENRY5It would be every man's thought; and thou art a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks. Never a man's thought in world keeps the road-way better than thine. Every man would me an hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful thought to think so?
23022POINSWhy, because you have been so lewd and so much engraffed Falstaff.
23122HENRY5And to thee.
23222POINSBy this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it with own ears. The worst that they can say of me is that I am a brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; and those things, I confess, I cannot help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph.
233(stage directions)22 Enter BARDOLPH and PAGE
23422HENRY5And the boy that I gave Falstaff. 'A had him from me Christian; and look if the fat villain have not transform'd ape.
23522BARDOLPHGod save your Grace!
23622HENRY5And yours, most noble Bardolph!
23722POINSCome, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must you be blushing? Wherefore blush you now? What a maidenly are you become! Is't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
23822PAGE'A calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red lattice, and could discern no part of his face from the window. At last I spied his eyes; and methought he had made two holes in the alewife's new petticoat, and so peep'd through.
23922HENRY5Has not the boy profited?
24022BARDOLPHAway, you whoreson upright rabbit, away!
24122PAGEAway, you rascally Althaea's dream, away!
24222HENRY5Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
24322PAGEMarry, my lord, Althaea dreamt she was delivered of a firebrand; and therefore I call him her dream.
24422HENRY5A crown's worth of good interpretation. There 'tis,
245(stage directions)22 [Giving a crown]
24622POINSO that this blossom could be kept from cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.
24722BARDOLPHAn you do not make him be hang'd among you, the shall have wrong.
24822HENRY5And how doth thy master, Bardolph?
24922BARDOLPHWell, my lord. He heard of your Grace's coming to There's a letter for you.
25022POINSDeliver'd with good respect. And how doth the martlemas, your master?
25122BARDOLPHIn bodily health, sir.
25222POINSMarry, the immortal part needs a physician; but that not him. Though that be sick, it dies not.
25322HENRY5I do allow this well to be as familiar with me as my and he holds his place, for look you how he writes.
25422POINS[Reads] 'John Falstaff, knight'--Every man must know as oft as he has occasion to name himself, even like those are kin to the King; for they never prick their finger but say 'There's some of the King's blood spilt.' 'How comes says he that takes upon him not to conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap: 'I am the King's poor cousin,
25522HENRY5Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it from Japhet. But the letter: [Reads] 'Sir John Falstaff, knight, the son of the King nearest his father, Harry Prince of greeting.'
25622POINSWhy, this is a certificate.
25722HENRY5Peace! [Reads] 'I will imitate the honourable Romans brevity.'-
25822POINSHe sure means brevity in breath, short-winded.
25922HENRY5[Reads] 'I commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses favours so much that he swears thou art to marry his sister Repent at idle times as thou mayst, and so farewell. Thine, by yea and no--which is as much as to say as thou usest him--JACK FALSTAFF with my familiars, JOHN with my brothers and sisters, and SIR JOHN with all Europe.'
26022POINSMy lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat
26122HENRY5That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you me thus, Ned? Must I marry your sister?
26222POINSGod send the wench no worse fortune! But I never said
26322HENRY5Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and the of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us. Is your master London?
26422BARDOLPHYea, my lord.
26522HENRY5Where sups he? Doth the old boar feed in the old frank?
26622BARDOLPHAt the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.
26722HENRY5What company?
26822PAGEEphesians, my lord, of the old church.
26922HENRY5Sup any women with him?
27022PAGENone, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and Mistress Doll Tearsheet.
27122HENRY5What pagan may that be?
27222PAGEA proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of my
27322HENRY5Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the town Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?
27422POINSI am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.
27522HENRY5Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to your master I am yet come to town. There's for your silence.
27622BARDOLPHI have no tongue, sir.
27722PAGEAnd for mine, sir, I will govern it.
27822HENRY5Fare you well; go. Exeunt BARDOLPH and PAGE This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.
27922POINSI warrant you, as common as the way between Saint Albans London.
28022HENRY5How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in true colours, and not ourselves be seen?
28122POINSPut on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and wait upon his table as drawers.
28222HENRY5From a god to a bull? A heavy descension! It was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? A low transformation! That shall be mine; for in everything the purpose must weigh with folly. Follow me, Ned.
283(stage directions)22 Exeunt
284(stage directions)23Enter NORTHUMBERLAND, LADY NORTHUMBERLAND, and LADY PERCY
28523NORTHUMBERLANDI pray thee, loving wife, and gentle daughter, Give even way unto my rough affairs; Put not you on the visage of the times And be, like them, to Percy troublesome.
28623LADY NORTHUMBERLANDI have given over, I will speak no more. Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.
28723NORTHUMBERLANDAlas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn; And but my going nothing can redeem it.
28823LADY PERCYO, yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars! The time was, father, that you broke your word, When you were more endear'd to it than now; When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry, Threw many a northward look to see his father Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain. Who then persuaded you to stay at home? There were two honours lost, yours and your son's. For yours, the God of heaven brighten it! For his, it stuck upon him as the sun In the grey vault of heaven; and by his light Did all the chivalry of England move To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves. He had no legs that practis'd not his gait; And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish, Became the accents of the valiant; For those who could speak low and tardily Would turn their own perfection to abuse To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait, In diet, in affections of delight, In military rules, humours of blood, He was the mark and glass, copy and book, That fashion'd others. And him--O wondrous him! O miracle of men!--him did you leave-- Second to none, unseconded by you-- To look upon the hideous god of war In disadvantage, to abide a field Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name Did seem defensible. So you left him. Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong To hold your honour more precise and nice With others than with him! Let them alone. The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong. Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
28923NORTHUMBERLANDBeshrew your heart, Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me With new lamenting ancient oversights. But I must go and meet with danger there, Or it will seek me in another place, And find me worse provided.
29023LADY NORTHUMBERLANDO, fly to Scotland Till that the nobles and the armed commons Have of their puissance made a little taste.
29123LADY PERCYIf they get ground and vantage of the King, Then join you with them, like a rib of steel, To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves, First let them try themselves. So did your son; He was so suff'red; so came I a widow; And never shall have length of life enough To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes, That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven, For recordation to my noble husband.
29223NORTHUMBERLANDCome, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind As with the tide swell'd up unto his height, That makes a still-stand, running neither way. Fain would I go to meet the Archbishop, But many thousand reasons hold me back. I will resolve for Scotland. There am I, Till time and vantage crave my company. Exeunt
293(stage directions)24Enter FRANCIS and another DRAWER
29424FRANCISWhat the devil hast thou brought there-apple-johns? knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john.
29524SECOND DRAWERMass, thou say'st true. The Prince once set a of apple-johns before him, and told him there were five more Johns; and, putting off his hat, said 'I will now take my of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.' It ang'red to the heart; but he hath forgot that.
29624FRANCISWhy, then, cover and set them down; and see if thou find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear music.
297(stage directions)24 Enter third DRAWER
29824THIRD DRAWERDispatch! The room where they supp'd is too hot; they'll come in straight.
29924FRANCISSirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon; they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.
30024THIRD DRAWERBy the mass, here will be old uds; it will be an excellent stratagem.
30124SECOND DRAWERI'll see if I can find out Sneak.
302(stage directions)24 Exeunt second and third DRAWERS
303(stage directions)24 Enter HOSTESS and DOLL TEARSHEET
30424HOSTESSI' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as rose, in good truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it the blood ere one can say 'What's this?' How do you now?
30524DOLLBetter than I was--hem.
30624HOSTESSWhy, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.
307(stage directions)24 Enter FALSTAFF
30824FALSTAFF[Singing] 'When Arthur first in court'--Empty the Jordan. [Exit FRANCIS]--[Singing] 'And was a worthy king'-- now, Mistress Doll!
30924HOSTESSSick of a calm; yea, good faith.
31024FALSTAFFSo is all her sect; and they be once in a calm, they sick.
31124DOLLA pox damn you, you muddy rascal! Is that all the comfort give me?
31224FALSTAFFYou make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
31324DOLLI make them! Gluttony and diseases make them: I make them not.
31424FALSTAFFIf the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; that, my poor virtue, grant that.
31524DOLLYea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
31624FALSTAFF'Your brooches, pearls, and ouches.' For to serve is to come halting off; you know, to come off the breach with pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon charg'd chambers bravely--
31724DOLLHang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!
31824HOSTESSBy my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that you. You are the weaker vessel, as as they say, the emptier vessel.
31924DOLLCan a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogs-head? There's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; have not seen a hulk better stuff'd in the hold. Come, I'll friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars; and I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.
320(stage directions)24 Re-enter FRANCIS
32124FRANCISSir, Ancient Pistol's below and would speak with you.
32224DOLLHang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither; it the foul-mouth'dst rogue in England.
32324HOSTESSIf he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith! must live among my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers. I am in name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes swaggerers here; I have not liv'd all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.
32424FALSTAFFDost thou hear, hostess?
32524HOSTESSPray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John; there comes no swaggerers here.
32624FALSTAFFDost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
32724HOSTESSTilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me; and your ancient swagg'rer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, debuty, t' other day; and, as he said to me--'twas no longer than Wednesday last, i' good faith!--'Neighbour Quickly,' he--Master Dumbe, our minister, was by then--'Neighbour says he 'receive those that are civil, for' said he 'you are an ill name.' Now 'a said so, I can tell whereupon. 'For' 'you are an honest woman and well thought on, therefore take what guests you receive. Receive' says he 'no swaggering companions.' There comes none here. You would bless you to what he said. No, I'll no swagg'rers.
32824FALSTAFFHe's no swagg'rer, hostess; a tame cheater, i' faith; may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He'll not with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him up, drawer.
329(stage directions)24 Exit FRANCIS
33024HOSTESSCheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my nor no cheater; but I do not love swaggering, by my troth. I the worse when one says 'swagger.' Feel, masters, how I look you, I warrant you.
33124DOLLSo you do, hostess.
33224HOSTESSDo I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen cannot abide swagg'rers.
333(stage directions)24 Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and PAGE
33424PISTOLGod save you, Sir John!
33524FALSTAFFWelcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you a cup of sack; do you discharge upon mine hostess.
33624PISTOLI will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets.
33724FALSTAFFShe is pistol-proof, sir; you shall not hardly offend her.
33824HOSTESSCome, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I'll drink more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I.
33924PISTOLThen to you, Mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
34024DOLLCharge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master.
34124PISTOLI know you, Mistress Dorothy.
34224DOLLAway, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! By wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you! Since when, I pray you, sir? God's light, with two points on your shoulder? Much!
34324PISTOLGod let me not live but I will murder your ruff for
34424FALSTAFFNo more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
34524HOSTESSNo, good Captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain.
34624DOLLCaptain! Thou abominable damn'd cheater, art thou not to be called captain? An captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you have earn'd them. You a captain! you slave, for what? For a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy stew'd prunes and dried cakes. A captain! God's light, these villains will make the word as as the word 'occupy'; which was an excellent good word before was ill sorted. Therefore captains had need look to't.
34724BARDOLPHPray thee go down, good ancient.
34824FALSTAFFHark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
34924PISTOLNot I! I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I could her; I'll be reveng'd of her.
35024PAGEPray thee go down.
35124PISTOLI'll see her damn'd first; to Pluto's damn'd lake, by hand, to th' infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! down, faitors! we not Hiren here?
35224HOSTESSGood Captain Peesel, be quiet; 'tis very late, i' beseek you now, aggravate your choler.
35324PISTOLThese be good humours, indeed! Shall packhorses, And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Which cannot go but thirty mile a day, Compare with Caesars, and with Cannibals, And Troiant Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?
35424HOSTESSBy my troth, Captain, these are very bitter words.
35524BARDOLPHBe gone, good ancient; this will grow to a brawl
35624PISTOLDie men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have we not here?
35724HOSTESSO' my word, Captain, there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? For God's sake, be quiet.
35824PISTOLThen feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come, give's some sack. 'Si fortune me tormente sperato me contento.' Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend give fire. Give me some sack; and, sweetheart, lie thou there. [Laying down his sword] Come we to full points here, and are etceteras nothings?
35924FALSTAFFPistol, I would be quiet.
36024PISTOLSweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What! we have seen the stars.
36124DOLLFor God's sake thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure fustian rascal.
36224PISTOLThrust him down stairs! Know we not Galloway nags?
36324FALSTAFFQuoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat Nay, an 'a do nothing but speak nothing, 'a shall be nothing here.
36424BARDOLPHCome, get you down stairs.
36524PISTOLWhat! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue? [Snatching up his sword] Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days! Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say!
36624HOSTESSHere's goodly stuff toward!
36724FALSTAFFGive me my rapier, boy.
36824DOLLI pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw.
36924FALSTAFFGet you down stairs.
370(stage directions)24 [Drawing and driving PISTOL out]
37124HOSTESSHere's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked
372(stage directions)24 Exeunt PISTOL and BARDOLPH
37324DOLLI pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you!
37424HOSTESSAre you not hurt i' th' groin? Methought 'a made a thrust at your belly.
375(stage directions)24 Re-enter BARDOLPH
37624FALSTAFFHave you turn'd him out a doors?
37724BARDOLPHYea, sir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt him, sir, th' shoulder.
37824FALSTAFFA rascal! to brave me!
37924DOLLAh, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue! i' faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!
38024FALSTAFFA rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
38124DOLLDo, an thou dar'st for thy heart. An thou dost, I'll thee between a pair of sheets.
382(stage directions)24 Enter musicians
38324PAGEThe music is come, sir.
38424FALSTAFFLet them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Don. A bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quick-silver.
38524DOLLI' faith, and thou follow'dst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou fighting a days and foining a nights, and begin to patch up old body for heaven? Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS disguised as drawers
38624FALSTAFFPeace, good Doll! Do not speak like a death's-head; not bid me remember mine end.
38724DOLLSirrah, what humour's the Prince of?
38824FALSTAFFA good shallow young fellow. 'A would have made a pantler; 'a would ha' chipp'd bread well.
38924DOLLThey say Poins has a good wit.
39024FALSTAFFHe a good wit! hang him, baboon! His wit's as thick Tewksbury mustard; there's no more conceit in him than is in mallet.
39124DOLLWhy does the Prince love him so, then?
39224FALSTAFFBecause their legs are both of a bigness, and 'a quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys, jumps upon join'd-stools, and swears with a good grace, and his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the Leg, and no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other faculties 'a has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for which the Prince admits him. For the Prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between avoirdupois.
39324HENRY5Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?
39424POINSLet's beat him before his whore.
39524HENRY5Look whe'er the wither'd elder hath not his poll claw'd like a parrot.
39624POINSIs it not strange that desire should so many years performance?
39724FALSTAFFKiss me, Doll.
39824HENRY5Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says almanac to that?
39924POINSAnd look whether the fiery Trigon, his man, be not to his master's old tables, his note-book, his
40024FALSTAFFThou dost give me flattering busses.
40124DOLLBy my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant heart.
40224FALSTAFFI am old, I am old.
40324DOLLI love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all.
40424FALSTAFFWhat stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive Thursday. Shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song, come. 'A grows late; we'll to bed. Thou't forget me when I am gone.
40524DOLLBy my troth, thou't set me a-weeping, an thou say'st so. Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return. hearken a' th' end.
40624FALSTAFFSome sack, Francis.
40724HENRY5[with POINS:] Anon, anon, sir. [Advancing]
40824FALSTAFFHa! a bastard son of the King's? And art thou not his brother?
40924HENRY5Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost lead!
41024FALSTAFFA better than thou. I am a gentleman: thou art a
41124HENRY5Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by the ears.
41224HOSTESSO, the Lord preserve thy Grace! By my troth, welcome London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from Wales?
41324FALSTAFFThou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.
414(stage directions)24 [Leaning his band upon DOLL]
41524DOLLHow, you fat fool! I scorn you.
41624POINSMy lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn to a merriment, if you take not the heat.
41724HENRY5YOU whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely did you speak me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!
41824HOSTESSGod's blessing of your good heart! and so she is, by troth.
41924FALSTAFFDidst thou hear me?
42024HENRY5Yea; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gadshill. You knew I was at your back, and spoke it on try my patience.
42124FALSTAFFNo, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing.
42224HENRY5I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse, and then I know how to handle you.
42324FALSTAFFNo abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse.
42424HENRY5Not to dispraise me, and call me pander, and bread-chipper, and I know not what!
42524FALSTAFFNo abuse, Hal.
42624POINSNo abuse!
42724FALSTAFFNo abuse, Ned, i' th' world; honest Ned, none. I disprais'd him before the wicked--that the wicked might not in love with thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject; and thy father is to give thanks for it. No abuse, Hal; none, Ned, none; no, faith, none.
42824HENRY5See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us? she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is boy of the wicked? Or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in nose, of the wicked?
42924POINSAnswer, thou dead elm, answer.
43024FALSTAFFThe fiend hath prick'd down Bardolph irrecoverable; his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where he doth nothing roast malt-worms. For the boy--there is a good angel about but the devil outbids him too.
43124HENRY5For the women?
43224FALSTAFFFor one of them--she's in hell already, and burns souls. For th' other--I owe her money; and whether she be for that, I know not.
43324HOSTESSNo, I warrant you.
43424FALSTAFFNo, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for Marry, there is another indictment upon thee for suffering to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which think thou wilt howl.
43524HOSTESSAll vict'lers do so. What's a joint of mutton or two whole Lent?
43624HENRY5You, gentlewoman--
43724DOLLWhat says your Grace?
43824FALSTAFFHis Grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
439(stage directions)24 [Knocking within]
44024HOSTESSWho knocks so loud at door? Look to th' door there, Francis.
441(stage directions)24 Enter PETO
44224HENRY5Peto, how now! What news?
44324PETOThe King your father is at Westminster; And there are twenty weak and wearied posts Come from the north; and as I came along I met and overtook a dozen captains, Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the taverns, And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff.
44424HENRY5By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame So idly to profane the precious time, When tempest of commotion, like the south, Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt And drop upon our bare unarmed heads. Give me my sword and cloak. Falstaff, good night.
445(stage directions)24 Exeunt PRINCE, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLPH
44624FALSTAFFNow comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence, and leave it unpick'd. [Knocking within] More knocking at the door! [Re-enter BARDOLPH] How now! What's the matter?
44724BARDOLPHYou must away to court, sir, presently; A dozen captains stay at door for you.
44824FALSTAFF[To the PAGE]. Pay the musicians, sirrah.--Farewell, hostess; farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how men of merit are sought after; the undeserver may sleep, when the action is call'd on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go.
44924DOLLI cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to burst! Well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.
45024FALSTAFFFarewell, farewell.
451(stage directions)24 Exeunt FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH
45224HOSTESSWell, fare thee well. I have known thee these years, come peascod-time; but an honester and truer-hearted
45324BARDOLPH[Within] Mistress Tearsheet!
45424HOSTESSWhat's the matter?
45524BARDOLPH[Within] Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.
45624HOSTESSO, run Doll, run, run, good Come. [To BARDOLPH] She comes blubber'd.--Yea, will you come, Doll? Exeunt
457(stage directions)31Enter the KING in his nightgown, with a page
45831KING HENRY IVGo call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick; But, ere they come, bid them o'er-read these letters And well consider of them. Make good speed. Exit page How many thousands of my poorest subjects Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep, Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee, That thou no more will weigh my eyelids down, And steep my senses in forgetfulness? Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs, Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee, And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, Than in the perfum'd chambers of the great, Under the canopies of costly state, And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody? O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile In loathsome beds, and leav'st the kingly couch A watch-case or a common 'larum-bell? Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast Seal up the ship-boy's eyes, and rock his brains In cradle of the rude imperious surge, And in the visitation of the winds, Who take the ruffian billows by the top, Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them With deafing clamour in the slippery clouds, That with the hurly death itself awakes? Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude; And in the calmest and most stillest night, With all appliances and means to boot, Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down! Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
459(stage directions)31 Enter WARWICK and Surrey
46031WARWICKMany good morrows to your Majesty!
46131KING HENRY IVIs it good morrow, lords?
46231WARWICK'Tis one o'clock, and past.
46331KING HENRY IVWhy then, good morrow to you all, my lords. Have you read o'er the letters that I sent you?
46431WARWICKWe have, my liege.
46531KING HENRY IVThen you perceive the body of our kingdom How foul it is; what rank diseases grow, And with what danger, near the heart of it.
46631WARWICKIt is but as a body yet distempered; Which to his former strength may be restored With good advice and little medicine. My Lord Northumberland will soon be cool'd.
46731KING HENRY IVO God! that one might read the book of fate, And see the revolution of the times Make mountains level, and the continent, Weary of solid firmness, melt itself Into the sea; and other times to see The beachy girdle of the ocean Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock, And changes fill the cup of alteration With divers liquors! O, if this were seen, The happiest youth, viewing his progress through, What perils past, what crosses to ensue, Would shut the book and sit him down and die. 'Tis not ten years gone Since Richard and Northumberland, great friends, Did feast together, and in two years after Were they at wars. It is but eight years since This Percy was the man nearest my soul; Who like a brother toil'd in my affairs And laid his love and life under my foot; Yea, for my sake, even to the eyes of Richard Gave him defiance. But which of you was by-- [To WARWICK] You, cousin Nevil, as I may remember-- When Richard, with his eye brim full of tears, Then check'd and rated by Northumberland, Did speak these words, now prov'd a prophecy? 'Northumberland, thou ladder by the which My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne'-- Though then, God knows, I had no such intent But that necessity so bow'd the state That I and greatness were compell'd to kiss-- 'The time shall come'--thus did he follow it-- 'The time will come that foul sin, gathering head, Shall break into corruption' so went on, Foretelling this same time's condition And the division of our amity.
46831WARWICKThere is a history in all men's lives, Figuring the natures of the times deceas'd; The which observ'd, a man may prophesy, With a near aim, of the main chance of things As yet not come to life, who in their seeds And weak beginning lie intreasured. Such things become the hatch and brood of time; And, by the necessary form of this, King Richard might create a perfect guess That great Northumberland, then false to him, Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness; Which should not find a ground to root upon Unless on you.
46931KING HENRY IVAre these things then necessities? Then let us meet them like necessities; And that same word even now cries out on us. They say the Bishop and Northumberland Are fifty thousand strong.
47031WARWICKIt cannot be, my lord. Rumour doth double, like the voice and echo, The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace To go to bed. Upon my soul, my lord, The powers that you already have sent forth Shall bring this prize in very easily. To comfort you the more, I have receiv'd A certain instance that Glendower is dead. Your Majesty hath been this fortnight ill; And these unseasoned hours perforce must ad Unto your sickness.
47131KING HENRY IVI will take your counsel. And, were these inward wars once out of hand, We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land. Exeunt
472(stage directions)32Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, and servants behind
47332SHALLOWCome on, come on, come on; give me your hand, sir; your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by the rood! And how doth good cousin Silence?
47432SILENCEGood morrow, good cousin Shallow.
47532SHALLOWAnd how doth my cousin, your bed-fellow? and your daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?
47632SILENCEAlas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!
47732SHALLOWBy yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin William is a good scholar; he is at Oxford still, is he not?
47832SILENCEIndeed, sir, to my cost.
47932SHALLOW'A must, then, to the Inns o' Court shortly. I was Clement's Inn; where I think they will talk of mad Shallow
48032SILENCEYou were call'd 'lusty Shallow' then, cousin.
48132SHALLOWBy the mass, I was call'd anything; and I would have anything indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Pickbone, and Will Squele a Cotsole man--you had not four swinge-bucklers in all the Inns of Court again. And I may say you we knew where the bona-robas were, and had the best of all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.
48232SILENCEThis Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?
48332SHALLOWThe same Sir John, the very same. I see him break Scoggin's head at the court gate, when 'a was a crack not high; and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the days that I have spent! and to see how many of my old acquaintance are dead!
48432SILENCEWe shall all follow, cousin.
48532SHALLOWCertain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure. Death, as Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good of bullocks at Stamford fair?
48632SILENCEBy my troth, I was not there.
48732SHALLOWDeath is certain. Is old Double of your town living
48832SILENCEDead, sir.
48932SHALLOWJesu, Jesu, dead! drew a good bow; and dead! 'A shot a fine shoot. John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much his head. Dead! 'A would have clapp'd i' th' clout at twelve score, and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and and a half, that it would have done a man's heart good to How a score of ewes now?
49032SILENCEThereafter as they be--a score of good ewes may be ten pounds.
49132SHALLOWAnd is old Double dead?
492(stage directions)32 Enter BARDOLPH, and one with him
49332SILENCEHere come two of Sir John Falstaffs men, as I think.
49432SHALLOWGood morrow, honest gentlemen.
49532BARDOLPHI beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?
49632SHALLOWI am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of this and one of the King's justices of the peace. What is your pleasure with me?
49732BARDOLPHMy captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir John Falstaff--a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most leader.
49832SHALLOWHe greets me well, sir; I knew him a good back-sword How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife
49932BARDOLPHSir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than wife.
50032SHALLOWIt is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said too. 'Better accommodated!' It is good; yea, indeed, is it. phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable. 'Accommodated!' It comes of accommodo. Very good; a good
50132BARDOLPHPardon, sir; I have heard the word. 'Phrase' call you By this day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the with my sword to be a soldier-like word, and a word of good command, by heaven. Accommodated: that is, when a man they say, accommodated; or, when a man is being-whereby 'a thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing.
502(stage directions)32 Enter FALSTAFF
50332SHALLOWIt is very just. Look, here comes good Sir John. Give your good hand, give me your worship's good hand. By my you like well and bear your years very well. Welcome, good John.
50432FALSTAFFI am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Master Surecard, as I think?
50532SHALLOWNo, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.
50632FALSTAFFGood Master Silence, it well befits you should be of peace.
50732SILENCEYour good worship is welcome.
50832FALSTAFFFie! this is hot weather. Gentlemen, have you here half a dozen sufficient men?
50932SHALLOWMarry, have we, sir. Will you sit?
51032FALSTAFFLet me see them, I beseech you.
51132SHALLOWWhere's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the roll? me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, so, so,--so, so--yea, marry, sir. Rafe Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?
51232MOULDYHere, an't please you.
51332SHALLOWWhat think you, Sir John? A good-limb'd fellow; young, strong, and of good friends.
51432FALSTAFFIs thy name Mouldy?
51532MOULDYYea, an't please you.
51632FALSTAFF'Tis the more time thou wert us'd.
51732SHALLOWHa, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good! In faith, well said, Sir John; very well said.
51832FALSTAFFPrick him.
51932MOULDYI was prick'd well enough before, an you could have let alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do her and her drudgery. You need not to have prick'd me; there are other men fitter to go out than I.
52032FALSTAFFGo to; peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is you were spent.
52132MOULDYSpent!
52232SHALLOWPeace, fellow, peace; stand aside; know you where you For th' other, Sir John--let me see. Simon Shadow!
52332FALSTAFFYea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He's like a cold soldier.
52432SHALLOWWhere's Shadow?
52532SHADOWHere, sir.
52632FALSTAFFShadow, whose son art thou?
52732SHADOWMy mother's son, sir.
52832FALSTAFFThy mother's son! Like enough; and thy father's So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It is so indeed; but much of the father's substance!
52932SHALLOWDo you like him, Sir John?
53032FALSTAFFShadow will serve for summer. Prick him; for we have number of shadows fill up the muster-book.
53132SHALLOWThomas Wart!
53232FALSTAFFWhere's he?
53332WARTHere, sir.
53432FALSTAFFIs thy name Wart?
53532WARTYea, sir.
53632FALSTAFFThou art a very ragged wart.
53732SHALLOWShall I prick him, Sir John?
53832FALSTAFFIt were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon back, and the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no
53932SHALLOWHa, ha, ha! You can do it, sir; you can do it. I you well. Francis Feeble!
54032FEEBLEHere, sir.
54132FALSTAFFWhat trade art thou, Feeble?
54232FEEBLEA woman's tailor, sir.
54332SHALLOWShall I prick him, sir?
54432FALSTAFFYou may; but if he had been a man's tailor, he'd ha' prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?
54532FEEBLEI will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.
54632FALSTAFFWell said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor--well, Master Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.
54732FEEBLEI would Wart might have gone, sir.
54832FALSTAFFI would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier, that is the leader of so many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.
54932FEEBLEIt shall suffice, sir.
55032FALSTAFFI am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?
55132SHALLOWPeter Bullcalf o' th' green!
55232FALSTAFFYea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.
55332BULLCALFHere, sir.
55432FALSTAFFFore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf he roar again.
55532BULLCALFO Lord! good my lord captain-
55632FALSTAFFWhat, dost thou roar before thou art prick'd?
55732BULLCALFO Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.
55832FALSTAFFWhat disease hast thou?
55932BULLCALFA whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught ringing in the King's affairs upon his coronation day, sir.
56032FALSTAFFCome, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. We will away thy cold; and I will take such order that thy friends ring for thee. Is here all?
56132SHALLOWHere is two more call'd than your number. You must but four here, sir; and so, I pray you, go in with me to
56232FALSTAFFCome, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
56332SHALLOWO, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in windmill in Saint George's Field?
56432FALSTAFFNo more of that, Master Shallow, no more of that.
56532SHALLOWHa, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
56632FALSTAFFShe lives, Master Shallow.
56732SHALLOWShe never could away with me.
56832FALSTAFFNever, never; she would always say she could not Master Shallow.
56932SHALLOWBy the mass, I could anger her to th' heart. She was a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?
57032FALSTAFFOld, old, Master Shallow.
57132SHALLOWNay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old; certain she's old; and had Robin Nightwork, by old Nightwork, before I came to Clement's Inn.
57232SILENCEThat's fifty-five year ago.
57332SHALLOWHa, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?
57432FALSTAFFWe have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
57532SHALLOWThat we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, John, we have. Our watchword was 'Hem, boys!' Come, let's to dinner; come, let's to dinner. Jesus, the days that we have Come, come.
576(stage directions)32 Exeunt FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES
57732BULLCALFGood Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In truth, sir, I had as lief be hang'd, sir, as go. And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather because I am unwilling and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with friends; else, sir, I did not care for mine own part so much.
57832BARDOLPHGo to; stand aside.
57932MOULDYAnd, good Master Corporal Captain, for my old dame's stand my friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when am gone; and she is old, and cannot help herself. You shall forty, sir.
58032BARDOLPHGo to; stand aside.
58132FEEBLEBy my troth, I care not; a man can die but once; we owe a death. I'll ne'er bear a base mind. An't be my destiny, so; an't be not, so. No man's too good to serve 's Prince; and, it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for next.
58232BARDOLPHWell said; th'art a good fellow.
58332FEEBLEFaith, I'll bear no base mind.
584(stage directions)32 Re-enter FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES
58532FALSTAFFCome, sir, which men shall I have?
58632SHALLOWFour of which you please.
58732BARDOLPHSir, a word with you. I have three pound to free and Bullcalf.
58832FALSTAFFGo to; well.
58932SHALLOWCome, Sir John, which four will you have?
59032FALSTAFFDo you choose for me.
59132SHALLOWMarry, then--Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.
59232FALSTAFFMouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home you are past service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow you unto it. I will none of you.
59332SHALLOWSir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are likeliest men, and I would have you serv'd with the best.
59432FALSTAFFWill you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a Care I for the limb, the thews, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is. 'A shall charge and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer, off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's And this same half-fac'd fellow, Shadow--give me this man. He presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great level at the edge of a penknife. And, for a retreat--how will this Feeble, the woman's tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.
59532BARDOLPHHold, Wart. Traverse--thus, thus, thus.
59632FALSTAFFCome, manage me your caliver. So--very well. Go to; good; exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chopt, bald shot. Well said, i' faith, Wart; th'art a good Hold, there's a tester for thee.
59732SHALLOWHe is not his craft's master, he doth not do it right. remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement's Inn--I then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show--there was a little quiver fellow, and 'a would manage you his piece thus; and 'a would about and about, and come you in and come you in. 'Rah, tah, tah!' would 'a say; 'Bounce!' would 'a say; and away again 'a go, and again would 'a come. I shall ne'er see such a
59832FALSTAFFThese fellows will do well. Master Shallow, God keep Master Silence, I will not use many words with you: Fare you well! Gentlemen both, I thank you. I must a dozen mile Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.
59932SHALLOWSir John, the Lord bless you; God prosper your God send us peace! At your return, visit our house; let our acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure I will with ye to the court.
60032FALSTAFFFore God, would you would.
60132SHALLOWGo to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
60232FALSTAFFFare you well, gentle gentlemen. [Exeunt JUSTICES] On, Bardolph; lead the men away. [Exeunt all but FALSTAFF] As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom of justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This same starv'd justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him at Clement's Inn, like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring. When 'a was naked, he was for all the world like a fork'd radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. 'A was so forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invisible. 'A was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores call'd him mandrake. 'A came ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutch'd huswifes that he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and I'll be sworn 'a ne'er saw him but once in the Tiltyard; and then he burst his head for crowding among the marshal's men. I saw it, and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court--and now has he land and beeves. Well, I'll be acquainted with him if I return; and 't shall go hard but I'll make him a philosopher's two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end. Exit
603(stage directions)41Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, MOWBRAY, HASTINGS, and others
60441ARCHBISHOPWhat is this forest call'd
60541HASTINGS'Tis Gaultree Forest, an't shall please your Grace.
60641ARCHBISHOPHere stand, my lords, and send discoverers forth To know the numbers of our enemies.
60741HASTINGSWe have sent forth already.
60841ARCHBISHOP'Tis well done. My friends and brethren in these great affairs, I must acquaint you that I have receiv'd New-dated letters from Northumberland; Their cold intent, tenour, and substance, thus: Here doth he wish his person, with such powers As might hold sortance with his quality, The which he could not levy; whereupon He is retir'd, to ripe his growing fortunes, To Scotland; and concludes in hearty prayers That your attempts may overlive the hazard And fearful meeting of their opposite.
60941MOWBRAYThus do the hopes we have in him touch ground And dash themselves to pieces.
610(stage directions)41 Enter A MESSENGER
61141HASTINGSNow, what news?
61241MESSENGERWest of this forest, scarcely off a mile, In goodly form comes on the enemy; And, by the ground they hide, I judge their number Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand.
61341MOWBRAYThe just proportion that we gave them out. Let us sway on and face them in the field.
614(stage directions)41 Enter WESTMORELAND
61541ARCHBISHOPWhat well-appointed leader fronts us here?
61641MOWBRAYI think it is my Lord of Westmoreland.
61741WESTMORELANDHealth and fair greeting from our general, The Prince, Lord John and Duke of Lancaster.
61841ARCHBISHOPSay on, my Lord of Westmoreland, in peace, What doth concern your coming.
61941WESTMORELANDThen, my lord, Unto your Grace do I in chief address The substance of my speech. If that rebellion Came like itself, in base and abject routs, Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rags, And countenanc'd by boys and beggary- I say, if damn'd commotion so appear'd In his true, native, and most proper shape, You, reverend father, and these noble lords, Had not been here to dress the ugly form Of base and bloody insurrection With your fair honours. You, Lord Archbishop, Whose see is by a civil peace maintain'd, Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touch'd, Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutor'd, Whose white investments figure innocence, The dove, and very blessed spirit of peace- Wherefore you do so ill translate yourself Out of the speech of peace, that bears such grace, Into the harsh and boist'rous tongue of war; Turning your books to graves, your ink to blood, Your pens to lances, and your tongue divine To a loud trumpet and a point of war?
62041ARCHBISHOPWherefore do I this? So the question stands. Briefly to this end: we are all diseas'd And with our surfeiting and wanton hours Have brought ourselves into a burning fever, And we must bleed for it; of which disease Our late King, Richard, being infected, died. But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland, I take not on me here as a physician; Nor do I as an enemy to peace Troop in the throngs of military men; But rather show awhile like fearful war To diet rank minds sick of happiness, And purge th' obstructions which begin to stop Our very veins of life. Hear me more plainly. I have in equal balance justly weigh'd What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we suffer, And find our griefs heavier than our offences. We see which way the stream of time doth run And are enforc'd from our most quiet there By the rough torrent of occasion; And have the summary of all our griefs, When time shall serve, to show in articles; Which long ere this we offer'd to the King, And might by no suit gain our audience: When we are wrong'd, and would unfold our griefs, We are denied access unto his person, Even by those men that most have done us wrong. The dangers of the days but newly gone, Whose memory is written on the earth With yet appearing blood, and the examples Of every minute's instance, present now, Hath put us in these ill-beseeming arms; Not to break peace, or any branch of it, But to establish here a peace indeed, Concurring both in name and quality.
62141WESTMORELANDWhen ever yet was your appeal denied; Wherein have you been galled by the King; What peer hath been suborn'd to grate on you That you should seal this lawless bloody book Of forg'd rebellion with a seal divine, And consecrate commotion's bitter edge?
62241ARCHBISHOPMy brother general, the commonwealth, To brother horn an household cruelty, I make my quarrel in particular.
62341WESTMORELANDThere is no need of any such redress; Or if there were, it not belongs to you.
62441MOWBRAYWhy not to him in part, and to us all That feel the bruises of the days before, And suffer the condition of these times To lay a heavy and unequal hand Upon our honours?
62541WESTMORELANDO my good Lord Mowbray, Construe the times to their necessities, And you shall say, indeed, it is the time, And not the King, that doth you injuries. Yet, for your part, it not appears to me, Either from the King or in the present time, That you should have an inch of any ground To build a grief on. Were you not restor'd To all the Duke of Norfolk's signiories, Your noble and right well-rememb'red father's?
62641MOWBRAYWhat thing, in honour, had my father lost That need to be reviv'd and breath'd in me? The King that lov'd him, as the state stood then, Was force perforce compell'd to banish him, And then that Henry Bolingbroke and he, Being mounted and both roused in their seats, Their neighing coursers daring of the spur, Their armed staves in charge, their beavers down, Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel, And the loud trumpet blowing them together-- Then, then, when there was nothing could have stay'd My father from the breast of Bolingbroke, O, when the King did throw his warder down-- His own life hung upon the staff he threw-- Then threw he down himself, and all their lives That by indictment and by dint of sword Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke.
62741WESTMORELANDYou speak, Lord Mowbray, now you know not what. The Earl of Hereford was reputed then In England the most valiant gentleman. Who knows on whom fortune would then have smil'd? But if your father had been victor there, He ne'er had borne it out of Coventry; For all the country, in a general voice, Cried hate upon him; and all their prayers and love Were set on Hereford, whom they doted on, And bless'd and grac'd indeed more than the King. But this is mere digression from my purpose. Here come I from our princely general To know your griefs; to tell you from his Grace That he will give you audience; and wherein It shall appear that your demands are just, You shall enjoy them, everything set off That might so much as think you enemies.
62841MOWBRAYBut he hath forc'd us to compel this offer; And it proceeds from policy, not love.
62941WESTMORELANDMowbray. you overween to take it so. This offer comes from mercy, not from fear; For, lo! within a ken our army lies- Upon mine honour, all too confident To give admittance to a thought of fear. Our battle is more full of names than yours, Our men more perfect in the use of arms, Our armour all as strong, our cause the best; Then reason will our hearts should be as good. Say you not, then, our offer is compell'd.
63041MOWBRAYWell, by my will we shall admit no parley.
63141WESTMORELANDThat argues but the shame of your offence: A rotten case abides no handling.
63241HASTINGSHath the Prince John a full commission, In very ample virtue of his father, To hear and absolutely to determine Of what conditions we shall stand upon?
63341WESTMORELANDThat is intended in the general's name. I muse you make so slight a question.
63441ARCHBISHOPThen take, my Lord of Westmoreland, this schedule, For this contains our general grievances. Each several article herein redress'd, All members of our cause, both here and hence, That are insinewed to this action, Acquitted by a true substantial form, And present execution of our wills To us and to our purposes confin'd- We come within our awful banks again, And knit our powers to the arm of peace.
63541WESTMORELANDThis will I show the general. Please you, lords, In sight of both our battles we may meet; And either end in peace--which God so frame!- Or to the place of diff'rence call the swords Which must decide it.
63641ARCHBISHOPMy lord, we will do so. Exit WESTMORELAND
63741MOWBRAYThere is a thing within my bosom tells me That no conditions of our peace can stand.
63841HASTINGSFear you not that: if we can make our peace Upon such large terms and so absolute As our conditions shall consist upon, Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains.
63941MOWBRAYYea, but our valuation shall be such That every slight and false-derived cause, Yea, every idle, nice, and wanton reason, Shall to the King taste of this action; That, were our royal faiths martyrs in love, We shall be winnow'd with so rough a wind That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff, And good from bad find no partition.
64041ARCHBISHOPNo, no, my lord. Note this: the King is weary Of dainty and such picking grievances; For he hath found to end one doubt by death Revives two greater in the heirs of life; And therefore will he wipe his tables clean, And keep no tell-tale to his memory That may repeat and history his los To new remembrance. For full well he knows He cannot so precisely weed this land As his misdoubts present occasion: His foes are so enrooted with his friends That, plucking to unfix an enemy, He doth unfasten so and shake a friend. So that this land, like an offensive wife That hath enrag'd him on to offer strokes, As he is striking, holds his infant up, And hangs resolv'd correction in the arm That was uprear'd to execution.
64141HASTINGSBesides, the King hath wasted all his rods On late offenders, that he now doth lack The very instruments of chastisement; So that his power, like to a fangless lion, May offer, but not hold.
64241ARCHBISHOP'Tis very true; And therefore be assur'd, my good Lord Marshal, If we do now make our atonement well, Our peace will, like a broken limb united, Grow stronger for the breaking.
64341MOWBRAYBe it so. Here is return'd my Lord of Westmoreland.
644(stage directions)41 Re-enter WESTMORELAND
64541WESTMORELANDThe Prince is here at hand. Pleaseth your To meet his Grace just distance 'tween our armies?
64641MOWBRAYYour Grace of York, in God's name then, set forward.
64741ARCHBISHOPBefore, and greet his Grace. My lord, we come.
648(stage directions)41 Exeunt
649(stage directions)42Enter, from one side, MOWBRAY, attended; afterwards, the ARCHBISHOP, HASTINGS, and others; from the other side, PRINCE JOHN of LANCASTER, WESTMORELAND, OFFICERS, and others
65042LANCASTERYou are well encount'red here, my cousin Mowbray. Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop; And so to you, Lord Hastings, and to all. My Lord of York, it better show'd with you When that your flock, assembled by the bell, Encircled you to hear with reverence Your exposition on the holy text Than now to see you here an iron man, Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum, Turning the word to sword, and life to death. That man that sits within a monarch's heart And ripens in the sunshine of his favour, Would he abuse the countenance of the king, Alack, what mischiefs might he set abroach In shadow of such greatness! With you, Lord Bishop, It is even so. Who hath not heard it spoken How deep you were within the books of God? To us the speaker in His parliament, To us th' imagin'd voice of God himself, The very opener and intelligencer Between the grace, the sanctities of heaven, And our dull workings. O, who shall believe But you misuse the reverence of your place, Employ the countenance and grace of heav'n As a false favourite doth his prince's name, In deeds dishonourable? You have ta'en up, Under the counterfeited zeal of God, The subjects of His substitute, my father, And both against the peace of heaven and him Have here up-swarm'd them.
65142ARCHBISHOPGood my Lord of Lancaster, I am not here against your father's peace; But, as I told my Lord of Westmoreland, The time misord'red doth, in common sense, Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form To hold our safety up. I sent your Grace The parcels and particulars of our grief, The which hath been with scorn shov'd from the court, Whereon this hydra son of war is born; Whose dangerous eyes may well be charm'd asleep With grant of our most just and right desires; And true obedience, of this madness cur'd, Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty.
65242MOWBRAYIf not, we ready are to try our fortunes To the last man.
65342HASTINGSAnd though we here fall down, We have supplies to second our attempt. If they miscarry, theirs shall second them; And so success of mischief shall be born, And heir from heir shall hold this quarrel up Whiles England shall have generation.
65442LANCASTERYOU are too shallow, Hastings, much to shallow, To sound the bottom of the after-times.
65542WESTMORELANDPleaseth your Grace to answer them directly How far forth you do like their articles.
65642LANCASTERI like them all and do allow them well; And swear here, by the honour of my blood, My father's purposes have been mistook; And some about him have too lavishly Wrested his meaning and authority. My lord, these griefs shall be with speed redress'd; Upon my soul, they shall. If this may please you, Discharge your powers unto their several counties, As we will ours; and here, between the armies, Let's drink together friendly and embrace, That all their eyes may bear those tokens home Of our restored love and amity.
65742ARCHBISHOPI take your princely word for these redresses.
65842LANCASTERI give it you, and will maintain my word; And thereupon I drink unto your Grace.
65942HASTINGSGo, Captain, and deliver to the army This news of peace. Let them have pay, and part. I know it will please them. Hie thee, Captain.
660(stage directions)42 Exit Officer
66142ARCHBISHOPTo you, my noble Lord of Westmoreland.
66242WESTMORELANDI pledge your Grace; and if you knew what pains I have bestow'd to breed this present peace, You would drink freely; but my love to ye Shall show itself more openly hereafter.
66342ARCHBISHOPI do not doubt you.
66442WESTMORELANDI am glad of it. Health to my lord and gentle cousin, Mowbray.
66542MOWBRAYYou wish me health in very happy season, For I am on the sudden something ill.
66642ARCHBISHOPAgainst ill chances men are ever merry; But heaviness foreruns the good event.
66742WESTMORELANDTherefore be merry, coz; since sudden sorrow Serves to say thus, 'Some good thing comes to-morrow.'
66842ARCHBISHOPBelieve me, I am passing light in spirit.
66942MOWBRAYSo much the worse, if your own rule be true.
670(stage directions)42 [Shouts within]
67142LANCASTERThe word of peace is rend'red. Hark, how they
67242MOWBRAYThis had been cheerful after victory.
67342ARCHBISHOPA peace is of the nature of a conquest; For then both parties nobly are subdu'd, And neither party loser.
67442LANCASTERGo, my lord, And let our army be discharged too. [Exit WESTMORELAND] And, good my lord, so please you let our trains March by us, that we may peruse the men We should have cop'd withal.
67542ARCHBISHOPGo, good Lord Hastings, And, ere they be dismiss'd, let them march by.
676(stage directions)42 Exit HASTINGS
67742LANCASTERI trust, lords, we shall lie to-night together. [Re-enter WESTMORELAND] Now, cousin, wherefore stands our army still?
67842WESTMORELANDThe leaders, having charge from you to stand, Will not go off until they hear you speak.
67942LANCASTERThey know their duties.
680(stage directions)42 Re-enter HASTINGS
68142HASTINGSMy lord, our army is dispers'd already. Like youthful steers unyok'd, they take their courses East, west, north, south; or like a school broke up, Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place.
68242WESTMORELANDGood tidings, my Lord Hastings; for the which I do arrest thee, traitor, of high treason; And you, Lord Archbishop, and you, Lord Mowbray, Of capital treason I attach you both.
68342MOWBRAYIs this proceeding just and honourable?
68442WESTMORELANDIs your assembly so?
68542ARCHBISHOPWill you thus break your faith?
68642LANCASTERI pawn'd thee none: I promis'd you redress of these same grievances Whereof you did complain; which, by mine honour, I will perform with a most Christian care. But for you, rebels--look to taste the due Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours. Most shallowly did you these arms commence, Fondly brought here, and foolishly sent hence. Strike up our drums, pursue the scatt'red stray. God, and not we, hath safely fought to-day. Some guard these traitors to the block of death, Treason's true bed and yielder-up of breath. Exeunt
687(stage directions)43Alarum; excursions. Enter FALSTAFF and COLVILLE, meeting
68843FALSTAFFWhat's your name, sir? Of what condition are you, and what place, I pray?
68943COLVILLEI am a knight sir; and my name is Colville of the
69043FALSTAFFWell then, Colville is your name, a knight is your degree, and your place the Dale. Colville shall still be your name, a traitor your degree, and the dungeon your place--a deep enough; so shall you be still Colville of the Dale.
69143COLVILLEAre not you Sir John Falstaff?
69243FALSTAFFAs good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do you yield, sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, they are the of thy lovers, and they weep for thy death; therefore rouse fear and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.
69343COLVILLEI think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that yield me.
69443FALSTAFFI have a whole school of tongues in this belly of and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my An I had but a belly of any indifferency, I were simply the active fellow in Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes me. Here comes our general.
695(stage directions)43 Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WESTMORELAND, BLUNT, and others
69643LANCASTERThe heat is past; follow no further now. Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland. [Exit WESTMORELAND] Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while? When everything is ended, then you come. These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life, One time or other break some gallows' back.
69743FALSTAFFI would be sorry, my lord, but it should be thus: I knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour. Do think me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? Have I, in my poor old motion, the expedition of thought? I have speeded hither the very extremest inch of possibility; I have found'red nine score and odd posts; and here, travel tainted as I am, have, my pure and immaculate valour, taken Sir John Colville of the Dale,a most furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of He saw me, and yielded; that I may justly say with the fellow of Rome-I came, saw, and overcame.
69843LANCASTERIt was more of his courtesy than your deserving.
69943FALSTAFFI know not. Here he is, and here I yield him; and I beseech your Grace, let it be book'd with the rest of this deeds; or, by the Lord, I will have it in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture on the top on't, Colville kissing foot; to the which course if I be enforc'd, if you do not all show like gilt twopences to me, and I, in the clear sky of o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of element, which show like pins' heads to her, believe not the of the noble. Therefore let me have right, and let desert
70043LANCASTERThine's too heavy to mount.
70143FALSTAFFLet it shine, then.
70243LANCASTERThine's too thick to shine.
70343FALSTAFFLet it do something, my good lord, that may do me and call it what you will.
70443LANCASTERIs thy name Colville?
70543COLVILLEIt is, my lord.
70643LANCASTERA famous rebel art thou, Colville.
70743FALSTAFFAnd a famous true subject took him.
70843COLVILLEI am, my lord, but as my betters are That led me hither. Had they been rul'd by me, You should have won them dearer than you have.
70943FALSTAFFI know not how they sold themselves; but thou, like a kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis; and I thank thee for thee.
710(stage directions)43 Re-enter WESTMORELAND
71143LANCASTERNow, have you left pursuit?
71243WESTMORELANDRetreat is made, and execution stay'd.
71343LANCASTERSend Colville, with his confederates, To York, to present execution. Blunt, lead him hence; and see you guard him sure. [Exeunt BLUNT and others] And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords. I hear the King my father is sore sick. Our news shall go before us to his Majesty, Which, cousin, you shall bear to comfort him And we with sober speed will follow you.
71443FALSTAFFMy lord, I beseech you, give me leave to go through Gloucestershire; and, when you come to court, stand my good pray, in your good report.
71543LANCASTERFare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition, Shall better speak of you than you deserve.
716(stage directions)43 Exeunt all but FALSTAFF
71743FALSTAFFI would you had but the wit; 'twere better than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh--but that's no he drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure boys to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches. are generally fools and cowards-which some of us should be but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it; apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, the which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second your excellent sherris is the warming of the blood; which cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes. illumineth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puff'd up with this doth any deed of courage--and this valour comes of sherris. that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that it a-work; and learning, a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile, bare land, manured, husbanded, and till'd, with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand the first humane principle I would teach them should be to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack. [Enter BARDOLPH] How now, Bardolph!
71843BARDOLPHThe army is discharged all and gone.
71943FALSTAFFLet them go. I'll through Gloucestershire, and there I visit Master Robert Shallow, Esquire. I have him already temp'ring between my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I with him. Come away. Exeunt
720(stage directions)44Enter the KING, PRINCE THOMAS OF CLARENCE, PRINCE HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER, WARWICK, and others
72144KING HENRY IVNow, lords, if God doth give successful end To this debate that bleedeth at our doors, We will our youth lead on to higher fields, And draw no swords but what are sanctified. Our navy is address'd, our power connected, Our substitutes in absence well invested, And everything lies level to our wish. Only we want a little personal strength; And pause us till these rebels, now afoot, Come underneath the yoke of government.
72244WARWICKBoth which we doubt not but your Majesty Shall soon enjoy.
72344KING HENRY IVHumphrey, my son of Gloucester, Where is the Prince your brother?
72444PRINCE HUMPHREYI think he's gone to hunt, my lord, at
72544KING HENRY IVAnd how accompanied?
72644PRINCE HUMPHREYI do not know, my lord.
72744KING HENRY IVIs not his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?
72844PRINCE HUMPHREYNo, my good lord, he is in presence here.
72944CLARENCEWhat would my lord and father?
73044KING HENRY IVNothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence. How chance thou art not with the Prince thy brother? He loves thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas. Thou hast a better place in his affection Than all thy brothers; cherish it, my boy, And noble offices thou mayst effect Of mediation, after I am dead, Between his greatness and thy other brethren. Therefore omit him not; blunt not his love, Nor lose the good advantage of his grace By seeming cold or careless of his will; For he is gracious if he be observ'd. He hath a tear for pity and a hand Open as day for melting charity; Yet notwithstanding, being incens'd, he is flint; As humorous as winter, and as sudden As flaws congealed in the spring of day. His temper, therefore, must be well observ'd. Chide him for faults, and do it reverently, When you perceive his blood inclin'd to mirth; But, being moody, give him line and scope Till that his passions, like a whale on ground, Confound themselves with working. Learn this, Thomas, And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends, A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in, That the united vessel of their blood, Mingled with venom of suggestion-- As, force perforce, the age will pour it in-- Shall never leak, though it do work as strong As aconitum or rash gunpowder.
73144CLARENCEI shall observe him with all care and love.
73244KING HENRY IVWhy art thou not at Windsor with him, Thomas?
73344CLARENCEHe is not there to-day; he dines in London.
73444KING HENRY IVAnd how accompanied? Canst thou tell that?
73544CLARENCEWith Poins, and other his continual followers.
73644KING HENRY IVMost subject is the fattest soil to weeds; And he, the noble image of my youth, Is overspread with them; therefore my grief Stretches itself beyond the hour of death. The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape, In forms imaginary, th'unguided days And rotten times that you shall look upon When I am sleeping with my ancestors. For when his headstrong riot hath no curb, When rage and hot blood are his counsellors When means and lavish manners meet together, O, with what wings shall his affections fly Towards fronting peril and oppos'd decay!
73744WARWICKMy gracious lord, you look beyond him quite. The Prince but studies his companions Like a strange tongue, wherein, to gain the language, 'Tis needful that the most immodest word Be look'd upon and learnt; which once attain'd, Your Highness knows, comes to no further use But to be known and hated. So, like gross terms, The Prince will, in the perfectness of time, Cast off his followers; and their memory Shall as a pattern or a measure live By which his Grace must mete the lives of other, Turning past evils to advantages.
73844KING HENRY IV'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb In the dead carrion. [Enter WESTMORELAND] Who's here? Westmoreland?
73944WESTMORELANDHealth to my sovereign, and new happiness Added to that that am to deliver! Prince John, your son, doth kiss your Grace's hand. Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings, and all, Are brought to the correction of your law. There is not now a rebel's sword unsheath'd, But Peace puts forth her olive everywhere. The manner how this action hath been borne Here at more leisure may your Highness read, With every course in his particular.
74044KING HENRY IVO Westmoreland, thou art a summer bird, Which ever in the haunch of winter sings The lifting up of day. [Enter HARCOURT] Look here's more news.
74144HARCOURTFrom enemies heaven keep your Majesty; And, when they stand against you, may they fall As those that I am come to tell you of! The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph, With a great power of English and of Scots, Are by the shrieve of Yorkshire overthrown. The manner and true order of the fight This packet, please it you, contains at large.
74244KING HENRY IVAnd wherefore should these good news make me sick? Will Fortune never come with both hands full, But write her fair words still in foulest letters? She either gives a stomach and no food- Such are the poor, in health--or else a feast, And takes away the stomach--such are the rich That have abundance and enjoy it not. I should rejoice now at this happy news; And now my sight fails, and my brain is giddy. O me! come near me now I am much ill.
74344PRINCE HUMPHREYComfort, your Majesty!
74444CLARENCEO my royal father!
74544WESTMORELANDMy sovereign lord, cheer up yourself, look up.
74644WARWICKBe patient, Princes; you do know these fits Are with his Highness very ordinary. Stand from him, give him air; he'll straight be well.
74744CLARENCENo, no; he cannot long hold out these pangs. Th' incessant care and labour of his mind Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in So thin that life looks through, and will break out.
74844PRINCE HUMPHREYThe people fear me; for they do observe Unfather'd heirs and loathly births of nature. The seasons change their manners, as the year Had found some months asleep, and leapt them over.
74944CLARENCEThe river hath thrice flow'd, no ebb between; And the old folk, Time's doting chronicles, Say it did so a little time before That our great grandsire, Edward, sick'd and died.
75044WARWICKSpeak lower, Princes, for the King recovers.
75144PRINCE HUMPHREYThis apoplexy will certain be his end.
75244KING HENRY IVI pray you take me up, and bear me hence Into some other chamber. Softly, pray. Exeunt
753(stage directions)45The KING lying on a bed; CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER, WARWICK, and others in attendance
75445KING HENRY IVLet there be no noise made, my gentle friends; Unless some dull and favourable hand Will whisper music to my weary spirit.
75545WARWICKCall for the music in the other room.
75645KING HENRY IVSet me the crown upon my pillow here.
75745CLARENCEHis eye is hollow, and he changes much.
75845WARWICKLess noise! less noise!
759(stage directions)45 Enter PRINCE HENRY
76045HENRY5Who saw the Duke of Clarence?
76145CLARENCEI am here, brother, full of heaviness.
76245HENRY5How now! Rain within doors, and none abroad! How doth the King?
76345PRINCE HUMPHREYExceeding ill.
76445HENRY5Heard he the good news yet? Tell it him.
76545PRINCE HUMPHREYHe alt'red much upon the hearing it.
76645HENRY5If he be sick with joy, he'll recover without physic.
76745WARWICKNot so much noise, my lords. Sweet Prince, speak low; The King your father is dispos'd to sleep.
76845CLARENCELet us withdraw into the other room.
76945WARWICKWill't please your Grace to go along with us?
77045HENRY5No; I will sit and watch here by the King. [Exeunt all but the PRINCE] Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow, Being so troublesome a bedfellow? O polish'd perturbation! golden care! That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now! Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet As he whose brow with homely biggen bound Snores out the watch of night. O majesty! When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit Like a rich armour worn in heat of day That scald'st with safety. By his gates of breath There lies a downy feather which stirs not. Did he suspire, that light and weightless down Perforce must move. My gracious lord! my father! This sleep is sound indeed; this is a sleep That from this golden rigol hath divorc'd So many English kings. Thy due from me Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood Which nature, love, and filial tenderness, Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously. My due from thee is this imperial crown, Which, as immediate from thy place and blood, Derives itself to me. [Putting on the crown] Lo where it Which God shall guard; and put the world's whole strength Into one giant arm, it shall not force This lineal honour from me. This from thee Will I to mine leave as 'tis left to me. Exit
77145KING HENRY IVWarwick! Gloucester! Clarence!
772(stage directions)45 Re-enter WARWICK, GLOUCESTER, CLARENCE
77345CLARENCEDoth the King call?
77445WARWICKWhat would your Majesty? How fares your Grace?
77545KING HENRY IVWhy did you leave me here alone, my lords?
77645CLARENCEWe left the Prince my brother here, my liege, Who undertook to sit and watch by you.
77745KING HENRY IVThe Prince of Wales! Where is he? Let me see him. He is not here.
77845WARWICKThis door is open; he is gone this way.
77945PRINCE HUMPHREYHe came not through the chamber where we
78045KING HENRY IVWhere is the crown? Who took it from my pillow?
78145WARWICKWhen we withdrew, my liege, we left it here.
78245KING HENRY IVThe Prince hath ta'en it hence. Go, seek him out. Is he so hasty that he doth suppose My sleep my death? Find him, my lord of Warwick; chide him hither. [Exit WARWICK] This part of his conjoins with my disease And helps to end me. See, sons, what things you are! How quickly nature falls into revolt When gold becomes her object! For this the foolish over-careful fathers Have broke their sleep with thoughts, Their brains with care, their bones with industry; For this they have engrossed and pil'd up The cank'red heaps of strange-achieved gold; For this they have been thoughtful to invest Their sons with arts and martial exercises; When, like the bee, tolling from every flower The virtuous sweets, Our thighs with wax, our mouths with honey pack'd, We bring it to the hive, and, like the bees, Are murd'red for our pains. This bitter taste Yields his engrossments to the ending father. [Re-enter WARWICK] Now where is he that will not stay so long Till his friend sickness hath determin'd me?
78345WARWICKMy lord, I found the Prince in the next room, Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks, With such a deep demeanour in great sorrow, That tyranny, which never quaff'd but blood, Would, by beholding him, have wash'd his knife With gentle eye-drops. He is coming hither.
78445KING HENRY IVBut wherefore did he take away the crown? [Re-enter PRINCE HENRY] Lo where he comes. Come hither to me, Harry. Depart the chamber, leave us here alone.
785(stage directions)45 Exeunt all but the KING and the PRINCE
78645HENRY5I never thought to hear you speak again.
78745KING HENRY IVThy wish was father, Harry, to that thought. I stay too long by thee, I weary thee. Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honours Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth! Thou seek'st the greatness that will overwhelm thee. Stay but a little, for my cloud of dignity Is held from falling with so weak a wind That it will quickly drop; my day is dim. Thou hast stol'n that which, after some few hours, Were thine without offense; and at my death Thou hast seal'd up my expectation. Thy life did manifest thou lov'dst me not, And thou wilt have me die assur'd of it. Thou hid'st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts, Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart, To stab at half an hour of my life. What, canst thou not forbear me half an hour? Then get thee gone, and dig my grave thyself; And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear That thou art crowned, not that I am dead. Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head; Only compound me with forgotten dust; Give that which gave thee life unto the worms. Pluck down my officers, break my decrees; For now a time is come to mock at form- Harry the Fifth is crown'd. Up, vanity: Down, royal state. All you sage counsellors, hence. And to the English court assemble now, From every region, apes of idleness. Now, neighbour confines, purge you of your scum. Have you a ruffian that will swear, drink, dance, Revel the night, rob, murder, and commit The oldest sins the newest kind of ways? Be happy, he will trouble you no more. England shall double gild his treble guilt; England shall give him office, honour, might; For the fifth Harry from curb'd license plucks The muzzle of restraint, and the wild dog Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent. O my poor kingdom, sick with civil blows! When that my care could not withhold thy riots, What wilt thou do when riot is thy care? O, thou wilt be a wilderness again. Peopled with wolves, thy old inhabitants!
78845HENRY5O, pardon me, my liege! But for my tears, The moist impediments unto my speech, I had forestall'd this dear and deep rebuke Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard The course of it so far. There is your crown, And he that wears the crown immortally Long guard it yours! [Kneeling] If I affect it more Than as your honour and as your renown, Let me no more from this obedience rise, Which my most inward true and duteous spirit Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending! God witness with me, when I here came in And found no course of breath within your Majesty, How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign, O, let me in my present wildness die, And never live to show th' incredulous world The noble change that I have purposed! Coming to look on you, thinking you dead- And dead almost, my liege, to think you were- I spake unto this crown as having sense, And thus upbraided it: 'The care on thee depending Hath fed upon the body of my father; Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold. Other, less fine in carat, is more precious, Preserving life in med'cine potable; But thou, most fine, most honour'd, most renown'd, Hast eat thy bearer up.' Thus, my most royal liege, Accusing it, I put it on my head, To try with it--as with an enemy That had before my face murd'red my father-- The quarrel of a true inheritor. But if it did infect my blood with joy, Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride; If any rebel or vain spirit of mine Did with the least affection of a welcome Give entertainment to the might of it, Let God for ever keep it from my head, And make me as the poorest vassal is, That doth with awe and terror kneel to it!
78945KING HENRY IVO my son, God put it in thy mind to take it hence, That thou mightst win the more thy father's love, Pleading so wisely in excuse of it! Come hither, Harry; sit thou by my bed, And hear, I think, the very latest counsel That ever I shall breathe. God knows, my son, By what by-paths and indirect crook'd ways I met this crown; and I myself know well How troublesome it sat upon my head: To thee it shall descend with better quiet, Better opinion, better confirmation; For all the soil of the achievement goes With me into the earth. It seem'd in me But as an honour snatch'd with boist'rous hand; And I had many living to upbraid My gain of it by their assistances; Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed, Wounding supposed peace. All these bold fears Thou seest with peril I have answered; For all my reign hath been but as a scene Acting that argument. And now my death Changes the mood; for what in me was purchas'd Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort; So thou the garland wear'st successively. Yet, though thou stand'st more sure than I could do, Thou art not firm enough, since griefs are green; And all my friends, which thou must make thy friends, Have but their stings and teeth newly ta'en out; By whose fell working I was first advanc'd, And by whose power I well might lodge a fear To be again displac'd; which to avoid, I cut them off; and had a purpose now To lead out many to the Holy Land, Lest rest and lying still might make them look Too near unto my state. Therefore, my Harry, Be it thy course to busy giddy minds With foreign quarrels, that action, hence borne out, May waste the memory of the former days. More would I, but my lungs are wasted so That strength of speech is utterly denied me. How I came by the crown, O God, forgive; And grant it may with thee in true peace live!
79045HENRY5My gracious liege, You won it, wore it, kept it, gave it me; Then plain and right must my possession be; Which I with more than with a common pain 'Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain. Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WARWICK, LORDS, and others
79145KING HENRY IVLook, look, here comes my John of Lancaster.
79245LANCASTERHealth, peace, and happiness, to my royal father!
79345KING HENRY IVThou bring'st me happiness and peace, son John; But health, alack, with youthful wings is flown From this bare wither'd trunk. Upon thy sight My worldly business makes a period. Where is my Lord of Warwick?
79445HENRY5My Lord of Warwick!
79545KING HENRY IVDoth any name particular belong Unto the lodging where I first did swoon?
79645WARWICK'Tis call'd Jerusalem, my noble lord.
79745KING HENRY IVLaud be to God! Even there my life must end. It hath been prophesied to me many years, I should not die but in Jerusalem; Which vainly I suppos'd the Holy Land. But bear me to that chamber; there I'll lie; In that Jerusalem shall Harry die. Exeunt
798(stage directions)51Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and PAGE
79951SHALLOWBy cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night. What, Davy, I say!
80051FALSTAFFYou must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
80151SHALLOWI will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd; shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you not be excus'd. Why, Davy!
802(stage directions)51 Enter DAVY
80351DAVYHere, sir.
80451SHALLOWDavy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see--yea, marry, William cook, bid him come Sir John, you shall not be excus'd.
80551DAVYMarry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served; and, again, sir--shall we sow the headland with wheat?
80651SHALLOWWith red wheat, Davy. But for William cook--are there young pigeons?
80751DAVYYes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and plough-irons.
80851SHALLOWLet it be cast, and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused.
80951DAVYNow, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had; sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages about the lost the other day at Hinckley fair?
81051SHALLOW'A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little kickshaws, tell William cook.
81151DAVYDoth the man of war stay all night, sir?
81251SHALLOWYea, Davy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for are arrant knaves and will backbite.
81351DAVYNo worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they have marvellous foul linen.
81451SHALLOWWell conceited, Davy--about thy business, Davy.
81551DAVYI beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.
81651SHALLOWThere, is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor. Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
81751DAVYI grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship sir, this eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I have but a very credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend, therefore, I beseech you, let him be countenanc'd.
81851SHALLOWGo to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about,
81951DAVY[Exit DAVY] Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
82051BARDOLPHI am glad to see your worship.
82151SHALLOWI thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph. [To the PAGE] And welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.
82251FALSTAFFI'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. [Exit SHALLOW] Bardolph, look to our horses. [Exeunt and PAGE] If I were sawed into quantities, I should make dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his. They, by observing of him, do bear like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married conjunction with the participation of society that they flock together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suit Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of being near their master; if to his men, I would curry with Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men take of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and 'a shall without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a slight oath, and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
82351SHALLOW[Within] Sir John!
82451FALSTAFFI come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.
825(stage directions)51Exit
826(stage directions)52Enter, severally, WARWICK, and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
82752WARWICKHow now, my Lord Chief Justice; whither away?
82852CHIEF JUSTICEHow doth the King?
82952WARWICKExceeding well; his cares are now all ended.
83052CHIEF JUSTICEI hope, not dead.
83152WARWICKHe's walk'd the way of nature; And to our purposes he lives no more.
83252CHIEF JUSTICEI would his Majesty had call'd me with him. The service that I truly did his life Hath left me open to all injuries.
83352WARWICKIndeed, I think the young king loves you not.
83452CHIEF JUSTICEI know he doth not, and do arm myself To welcome the condition of the time, Which cannot look more hideously upon me Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.
835(stage directions)52 Enter LANCASTER, CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER, WESTMORELAND, and others
83652WARWICKHere comes the heavy issue of dead Harry. O that the living Harry had the temper Of he, the worst of these three gentlemen! How many nobles then should hold their places That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
83752CHIEF JUSTICEO God, I fear all will be overturn'd.
83852LANCASTERGood morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow.
83952PRINCE HUMPHREY[with CLARENCE:] Good morrow, cousin.
84052LANCASTERWe meet like men that had forgot to speak.
84152WARWICKWe do remember; but our argument Is all too heavy to admit much talk.
84252LANCASTERWell, peace be with him that hath made us heavy!
84352CHIEF JUSTICEPeace be with us, lest we be heavier!
84452PRINCE HUMPHREYO, good my lord, you have lost a friend And I dare swear you borrow not that face Of seeming sorrow--it is sure your own.
84552LANCASTERThough no man be assur'd what grace to find, You stand in coldest expectation. I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise.
84652CLARENCEWell, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair; Which swims against your stream of quality.
84752CHIEF JUSTICESweet Princes, what I did, I did in honour, Led by th' impartial conduct of my soul; And never shall you see that I will beg A ragged and forestall'd remission. If truth and upright innocency fail me, I'll to the King my master that is dead, And tell him who hath sent me after him.
84852WARWICKHere comes the Prince.
849(stage directions)52 Enter KING HENRY THE FIFTH, attended
85052CHIEF JUSTICEGood morrow, and God save your Majesty!
85152KING HENRY IVThis new and gorgeous garment, majesty, Sits not so easy on me as you think. Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear. This is the English, not the Turkish court; Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds, But Harry Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers, For, by my faith, it very well becomes you. Sorrow so royally in you appears That I will deeply put the fashion on, And wear it in my heart. Why, then, be sad; But entertain no more of it, good brothers, Than a joint burden laid upon us all. For me, by heaven, I bid you be assur'd, I'll be your father and your brother too; Let me but bear your love, I'll bear your cares. Yet weep that Harry's dead, and so will I; But Harry lives that shall convert those tears By number into hours of happiness.
85252BROTHERSWe hope no otherwise from your Majesty.
85352HENRY5You all look strangely on me; and you most. You are, I think, assur'd I love you not.
85452CHIEF JUSTICEI am assur'd, if I be measur'd rightly, Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.
85552HENRY5No? How might a prince of my great hopes forget So great indignities you laid upon me? What, rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison, Th' immediate heir of England! Was this easy? May this be wash'd in Lethe and forgotten?
85652CHIEF JUSTICEI then did use the person of your father; The image of his power lay then in me; And in th' administration of his law, Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth, Your Highness pleased to forget my place, The majesty and power of law and justice, The image of the King whom I presented, And struck me in my very seat of judgment; Whereon, as an offender to your father, I gave bold way to my authority And did commit you. If the deed were ill, Be you contented, wearing now the garland, To have a son set your decrees at nought, To pluck down justice from your awful bench, To trip the course of law, and blunt the sword That guards the peace and safety of your person; Nay, more, to spurn at your most royal image, And mock your workings in a second body. Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours; Be now the father, and propose a son; Hear your own dignity so much profan'd, See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted, Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd; And then imagine me taking your part And, in your power, soft silencing your son. After this cold considerance, sentence me; And, as you are a king, speak in your state What I have done that misbecame my place, My person, or my liege's sovereignty.
85752HENRY5You are right, Justice, and you weigh this well; Therefore still bear the balance and the sword; And I do wish your honours may increase Till you do live to see a son of mine Offend you, and obey you, as I did. So shall I live to speak my father's words: 'Happy am I that have a man so bold That dares do justice on my proper son; And not less happy, having such a son That would deliver up his greatness so Into the hands of justice.' You did commit me; For which I do commit into your hand Th' unstained sword that you have us'd to bear; With this remembrance--that you use the same With the like bold, just, and impartial spirit As you have done 'gainst me. There is my hand. You shall be as a father to my youth; My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear; And I will stoop and humble my intents To your well-practis'd wise directions. And, Princes all, believe me, I beseech you, My father is gone wild into his grave, For in his tomb lie my affections; And with his spirits sadly I survive, To mock the expectation of the world, To frustrate prophecies, and to raze out Rotten opinion, who hath writ me down After my seeming. The tide of blood in me Hath proudly flow'd in vanity till now. Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea, Where it shall mingle with the state of floods, And flow henceforth in formal majesty. Now call we our high court of parliament; And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel, That the great body of our state may go In equal rank with the best govern'd nation; That war, or peace, or both at once, may be As things acquainted and familiar to us; In which you, father, shall have foremost hand. Our coronation done, we will accite, As I before rememb'red, all our state; And--God consigning to my good intents- No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say, God shorten Harry's happy life one day. Exeunt
858(stage directions)53Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, BARDOLPH, the PAGE, and DAVY
85953SHALLOWNay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffing, with a of caraways, and so forth. Come, cousin Silence. And then to
86053FALSTAFFFore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and rich.
86153SHALLOWBarren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir -marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread, Davy; well said,
86253FALSTAFFThis Davy serves you for good uses; he is your serving-man and your husband.
86353SHALLOWA good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John. By the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper. A varlet. Now sit down, now sit down; come, cousin.
86453SILENCEAh, sirrah! quoth-a--we shall [Singing] Do nothing but eat and make good cheer, And praise God for the merry year; When flesh is cheap and females dear, And lusty lads roam here and there, So merrily, And ever among so merrily.
86553FALSTAFFThere's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll give a health for that anon.
86653SHALLOWGive Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
86753DAVYSweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir, Master Page, good Master Page, sit. Proface! What you want in meat, we'll have in drink. But you must bear; the heart's
86853SHALLOWBe merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier be merry.
86953SILENCE[Singing] Be merry, be merry, my wife has all; For women are shrews, both short and tall; 'Tis merry in hall when beards wag an; And welcome merry Shrove-tide. Be merry, be merry.
87053FALSTAFFI did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
87153SILENCEWho, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
872(stage directions)53 Re-enter DAVY
87353DAVY[To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
87453SHALLOWDavy!
87553DAVYYour worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH] A cup of wine, sir?
87653SILENCE[Singing] A cup of wine that's brisk and fine, And drink unto the leman mine; And a merry heart lives long-a.
87753FALSTAFFWell said, Master Silence.
87853SILENCEAn we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' th'
87953FALSTAFFHealth and long life to you, Master Silence!
88053SILENCE[Singing] Fill the cup, and let it come, I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom.
88153SHALLOWHonest Bardolph, welcome; if thou want'st anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to the cabileros about London.
88253DAVYI hope to see London once ere I die.
88353BARDOLPHAn I might see you there, Davy!
88453SHALLOWBy the mass, you'll crack a quart together--ha! will not, Master Bardolph?
88553BARDOLPHYea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
88653SHALLOWBy God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out, 'a; 'tis true bred.
88753BARDOLPHAnd I'll stick by him, sir.
88853SHALLOWWhy, there spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry. [One knocks at door] Look who's at door there, ho! Who
889(stage directions)53 Exit DAVY
89053FALSTAFF[To SILENCE, who has drunk a bumper] Why, now you done me right.
89153SILENCE[Singing] Do me right, And dub me knight. Samingo. Is't not so?
89253FALSTAFF'Tis so.
89353SILENCEIs't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
894(stage directions)53 Re-enter DAVY
89553DAVYAn't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from court with news.
89653FALSTAFFFrom the court? Let him come in. [Enter PISTOL] How now, Pistol?
89753PISTOLSir John, God save you!
89853FALSTAFFWhat wind blew you hither, Pistol?
89953PISTOLNot the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
90053SILENCEBy'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
90153PISTOLPuff! Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base! Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend, And helter-skelter have I rode to thee; And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys, And golden times, and happy news of price.
90253FALSTAFFI pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
90353PISTOLA foutra for the world and worldlings base! I speak of Africa and golden joys.
90453FALSTAFFO base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
90553SILENCE[Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
90653PISTOLShall dunghill curs confront the Helicons? And shall good news be baffled? Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
90753SHALLOWHonest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
90853PISTOLWhy, then, lament therefore.
90953SHALLOWGive me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from court, I take it there's but two ways--either to utter them conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority.
91053PISTOLUnder which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.
91153SHALLOWUnder King Harry.
91253PISTOLHarry the Fourth--or Fifth?
91353SHALLOWHarry the Fourth.
91453PISTOLA foutra for thine office! Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King; Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth. When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like The bragging Spaniard.
91553FALSTAFFWhat, is the old king dead?
91653PISTOLAs nail in door. The things I speak are just.
91753FALSTAFFAway, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, will double-charge thee with dignities.
91853BARDOLPHO joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
91953PISTOLWhat, I do bring good news?
92053FALSTAFFCarry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt--I am Fortune's steward. Get on boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph! [Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief
92153PISTOLLet vultures vile seize on his lungs also! 'Where is the life that late I led?' say they. Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt
922(stage directions)54Enter BEADLES, dragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
92354HOSTESSNo, thou arrant knave; I would to God that I might die, that I might have thee hang'd. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out of joint.
92454FIRST BEADLEThe constables have delivered her over to me; and she shall have whipping-cheer enough, I warrant her. There hath been a man or two lately kill'd about her.
92554DOLLNut-hook, nut-hook, you lie. Come on; I'll tell thee what, thou damn'd tripe-visag'd rascal, an the child I now go with do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-fac'd villain.
92654HOSTESSO the Lord, that Sir John were come! He would make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb miscarry!
92754FIRST BEADLEIf it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me; for the man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.
92854DOLLI'll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you as soundly swing'd for this--you blue-bottle rogue, you filthy famish'd correctioner, if you be not swing'd, I'll forswear half-kirtles.
92954FIRST BEADLECome, come, you she knight-errant, come.
93054HOSTESSO God, that right should thus overcome might! Well, of sufferance comes ease.
93154DOLLCome, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
93254HOSTESSAy, come, you starv'd bloodhound.
93354DOLLGoodman death, goodman bones!
93454HOSTESSThou atomy, thou!
93554DOLLCome, you thin thing! come, you rascal!
93654FIRST BEADLEVery well. Exeunt
937(stage directions)55Enter GROOMS, strewing rushes
93855FIRST GROOMMore rushes, more rushes!
93955SECOND GROOMThe trumpets have sounded twice.
94055THIRD GROOM'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the coronation. Dispatch, dispatch. Exeunt
941(stage directions)55 Trumpets sound, and the KING and his train pass over the stage. After them enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and page
94255FALSTAFFStand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the King do you grace. I will leer upon him, as 'a comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.
94355PISTOLGod bless thy lungs, good knight!
94455FALSTAFFCome here, Pistol; stand behind me. [To SHALLOW] O, if I had had to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor show doth better; this doth infer the zeal I had to see him.
94555SHALLOWIt doth so.
94655FALSTAFFIt shows my earnestness of affection-
94755SHALLOWIt doth so.
94855FALSTAFFMy devotion--
94955SHALLOWIt doth, it doth, it doth.
95055FALSTAFFAs it were, to ride day and night; and not to not to remember, not to have patience to shift me--
95155SHALLOWIt is best, certain.
95255FALSTAFFBut to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to see him; thinking of nothing else, putting all else in oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done see him.
95355PISTOL'Tis 'semper idem' for 'obsque hoc nihil est.' 'Tis all every part.
95455SHALLOW'Tis so, indeed.
95555PISTOLMy knight, I will inflame thy noble liver And make thee rage. Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts, Is in base durance and contagious prison; Hal'd thither By most mechanical and dirty hand. Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake, For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.
95655FALSTAFFI will deliver her.
957(stage directions)55 [Shouts,within, and the trumpets sound]
95855PISTOLThere roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.
959(stage directions)55 Enter the KING and his train, the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE among them
96055FALSTAFFGod save thy Grace, King Hal; my royal Hal!
96155PISTOLThe heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of
96255FALSTAFFGod save thee, my sweet boy!
96355HENRY5My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.
96455CHIEF JUSTICEHave you your wits? Know you what 'tis you
96555FALSTAFFMy king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
96655HENRY5I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers. How ill white hairs become a fool and jester! I have long dreamt of such a kind of man, So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane; But being awak'd, I do despise my dream. Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace; Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape For thee thrice wider than for other men-- Reply not to me with a fool-born jest; Presume not that I am the thing I was, For God doth know, so shall the world perceive, That I have turn'd away my former self; So will I those that kept me company. When thou dost hear I am as I have been, Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast, The tutor and the feeder of my riots. Till then I banish thee, on pain of death, As I have done the rest of my misleaders, Not to come near our person by ten mile. For competence of life I will allow you, That lack of means enforce you not to evils; And, as we hear you do reform yourselves, We will, according to your strengths and qualities, Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord, To see perform'd the tenour of our word. Set on. Exeunt the KING and his train
96755FALSTAFFMaster Shallow, I owe you a thousand pounds.
96855SHALLOWYea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me home with me.
96955FALSTAFFThat can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you grieve this; I shall be sent for in private to him. Look you, he seem thus to the world. Fear not your advancements; I will be man yet that shall make you great.
97055SHALLOWI cannot perceive how, unless you give me your and stuff me out with straw. I beseech you, good Sir John, have five hundred of my thousand.
97155FALSTAFFSir, I will be as good as my word. This that you was but a colour.
97255SHALLOWA colour that I fear you will die in, Sir John.
97355FALSTAFFFear no colours; go with me to dinner. Come, Pistol; come, Bardolph. I shall be sent for soon at night.
974(stage directions)55 Re-enter PRINCE JOHN, the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE, with officers
97555CHIEF JUSTICEGo, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet; Take all his company along with him.
97655FALSTAFFMy lord, my lord--
97755CHIEF JUSTICEI cannot now speak. I will hear you soon. Take them away.
97855PISTOLSi fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta.
979(stage directions)55Exeunt all but PRINCE JOHN and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE
98055LANCASTERI like this fair proceeding of the King's. He hath intent his wonted followers Shall all be very well provided for; But all are banish'd till their conversations Appear more wise and modest to the world.
98155CHIEF JUSTICEAnd so they are.
98255LANCASTERThe King hath call'd his parliament, my lord.
98355CHIEF JUSTICEHe hath.
98455LANCASTERI will lay odds that, ere this year expire, We bear our civil swords and native fire As far as France. I heard a bird so sing, Whose music, to my thinking, pleas'd the King. Come, will you hence? Exeunt
985(stage directions)55 EPILOGUE.
986(stage directions)55[who says this???] First my fear, then my curtsy, last my speech. My fear, is your
987(stage directions)55displeasure; my curtsy, my duty; and my speech, to beg your pardons.
988(stage directions)55If you look for a good speech now, you undo me; for what I have
989(stage directions)55to say is of mine own making; and what, indeed, I should say will, I doubt,
990(stage directions)55prove mine own marring. But to the purpose, and so to the
991(stage directions)55venture.
992(stage directions)55Be it known to you, as it is very well, I was lately here in the
993(stage directions)55end of a displeasing play, to pray your patience for it and to
994(stage directions)55promise you a better. I meant, indeed, to pay you with this; which if like an
995(stage directions)55ill venture it come unluckily home, I break, and you, my gentle
996(stage directions)55creditors, lose. Here I promis'd you I would be, and here I
997(stage directions)55commit my body to your mercies. Bate me some, and I will pay you some,
998(stage directions)55and, as most debtors do, promise you infinitely; and so I kneel down
999(stage directions)55before you--but, indeed, to pray for the Queen.
1000(stage directions)55If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will you command
1001(stage directions)55me to use my legs? And yet that were but light payment--to dance out of
1002(stage directions)55your debt. But a good conscience will make any possible
1003(stage directions)55satisfaction, and so would I. All the gentlewomen here have
1004(stage directions)55forgiven me. If the gentlemen will not, then the gentlemen do not agree
1005(stage directions)55with the gentlewomen, which was never seen before in such an assembly.
1006(stage directions)55One word more, I beseech you. If you be not too much cloy'd
1007(stage directions)55with fat meat, our humble author will continue the story, with Sir John in
1008(stage directions)55it, and make you merry with fair Katherine of France; where, for
1009(stage directions)55anything I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat, unless already 'a
1010(stage directions)55be killed with your hard opinions; for Oldcastle died a martyr and
1011(stage directions)55this is not the man. My tongue is weary; when my legs are too, I will
1012(stage directions)55bid you good night.
1013(stage directions)55THE END


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