Array ( [TITLE] => The Merry Wives of Windsor [PERSONA] => Array ( [TITLE] => Introduction Actors [PERSONA] => Array ( [0] => SIR JOHN FALSTAFF [1] => FENTON, a gentleman. [2] => SHALLOW, a country justice. [3] => SLENDER, cousin to Shallow. [4] => WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page. [5] => SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson. [6] => DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician. [7] => Host of the Garter Inn. [8] => ROBIN, page to Falstaff. [9] => SIMPLE, servant to Slender. [10] => RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius. [11] => MISTRESS FORD [12] => MISTRESS PAGE [13] => ANNE PAGE, her daughter. [14] => MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius. [15] => Servants to Page, Ford, &c. ) [ACTORS] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [PERSONA] => Array ( [0] => FORD [1] => PAGE ) [GRPDESCR] => two gentlemen dwelling at Windsor. ) [1] => Array ( [PERSONA] => Array ( [0] => BARDOLPH [1] => PISTOL [2] => NYM ) [GRPDESCR] => sharpers attending on Falstaff. ) ) ) [SCNDESCR] => SCENE Windsor, and the neighbourhood. [PLAYSUBT] => THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR [ACT] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => ACT I [SCENE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE's house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS [1] => Enter PAGE [2] => Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL [3] => Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following [4] => Exit ANNE PAGE [5] => Kisses her [6] => Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS [7] => Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS [8] => Re-enter PAGE [9] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star- [1] => chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John [2] => Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and [1] => 'Coram.' ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum. ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, [1] => master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any [2] => bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.' ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three [1] => hundred years. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => All his successors gone before him hath done't; and [1] => all his ancestors that come after him may: they may [2] => give the dozen white luces in their coat. ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => It is an old coat. ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; [1] => it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to [2] => man, and signifies love. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => I may quarter, coz. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => You may, by marrying. ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Not a whit. ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, [1] => there is but three skirts for yourself, in my [2] => simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir [3] => John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto [4] => you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my [5] => benevolence to make atonements and compremises [6] => between you. ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => The council shall bear it; it is a riot. ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no [1] => fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall [2] => desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a [3] => riot; take your vizaments in that. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword [1] => should end it. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: [1] => and there is also another device in my prain, which [2] => peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there [3] => is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas [4] => Page, which is pretty virginity. ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks [1] => small like a woman. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as [1] => you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, [2] => and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his [3] => death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections! [4] => --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years [5] => old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles [6] => and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master [7] => Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts. ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do [1] => despise one that is false, or as I despise one that [2] => is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I [3] => beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will [4] => peat the door for Master Page. [5] => What, hoa! Got pless your house here! ) [STAGEDIR] => Knocks ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Within ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice [1] => Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that [2] => peradventures shall tell you another tale, if [3] => matters grow to your likings. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am glad to see your worships well. [1] => I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it [1] => your good heart! I wished your venison better; it [2] => was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I [3] => thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Sir, I thank you. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he [1] => was outrun on Cotsall. ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => It could not be judged, sir. ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => You'll not confess, you'll not confess. ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault; [1] => 'tis a good dog. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => A cur, sir. ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be [1] => more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John [2] => Falstaff here? ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good [1] => office between you. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => He hath wronged me, Master Page. ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that [1] => so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he [2] => hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert [3] => Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Here comes Sir John. ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and [1] => broke open my lodge. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => But not kissed your keeper's daughter? ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will answer it straight; I have done all this. [1] => That is now answered. ) ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => The council shall know this. ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: [1] => you'll be laughed at. ) ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your [1] => head: what matter have you against me? ) ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; [1] => and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, [2] => Nym, and Pistol. ) ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => You Banbury cheese! ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Ay, it is no matter. ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => How now, Mephostophilus! ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Ay, it is no matter. ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour. ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin? ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is [1] => three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that [2] => is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is [3] => myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, [4] => lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. ) ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => We three, to hear it and end it between them. ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note- [1] => book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with [2] => as great discreetly as we can. ) ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Pistol! ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => He hears with ears. ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He [1] => hears with ear'? why, it is affectations. ) ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might [1] => never come in mine own great chamber again else, of [2] => seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward [3] => shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two [4] => pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. ) ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Is this true, Pistol? ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine, [1] => I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. [2] => Word of denial in thy labras here! [3] => Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest! ) ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => By these gloves, then, 'twas he. ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say [1] => 'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's [2] => humour on me; that is the very note of it. ) ) [74] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for [1] => though I cannot remember what I did when you made me [2] => drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. ) ) [75] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => What say you, Scarlet and John? ) [76] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk [1] => himself out of his five sentences. ) ) [77] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! ) [78] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and [1] => so conclusions passed the careires. ) ) [79] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no [1] => matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, [2] => but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: [3] => if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have [4] => the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. ) ) [80] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. ) [81] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. ) [82] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. ) [83] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. ) [84] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => How now, Mistress Ford! ) [85] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: [1] => by your leave, good mistress. ) ) [86] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a [1] => hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope [2] => we shall drink down all unkindness. ) ) [87] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of [1] => Songs and Sonnets here. [2] => How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait [3] => on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles [4] => about you, have you? ) [STAGEDIR] => Enter SIMPLE ) [88] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice [1] => Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight [2] => afore Michaelmas? ) ) [89] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with [1] => you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a [2] => tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh [3] => here. Do you understand me? ) ) [90] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, [1] => I shall do that that is reason. ) ) [91] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Nay, but understand me. ) [92] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => So I do, sir. ) [93] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will [1] => description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. ) ) [94] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray [1] => you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his [2] => country, simple though I stand here. ) ) [95] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => But that is not the question: the question is [1] => concerning your marriage. ) ) [96] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Ay, there's the point, sir. ) [97] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. ) [98] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any [1] => reasonable demands. ) ) [99] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to [1] => know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers [2] => philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the [3] => mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your [4] => good will to the maid? ) ) [100] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? ) [101] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that [1] => would do reason. ) ) [102] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak [1] => possitable, if you can carry her your desires [2] => towards her. ) ) [103] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? ) [104] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will do a greater thing than that, upon your [1] => request, cousin, in any reason. ) ) [105] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do [1] => is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? ) ) [106] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there [1] => be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may [2] => decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are [3] => married and have more occasion to know one another; [4] => I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: [5] => but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that [6] => I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. ) ) [107] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in [1] => the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our [2] => meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good. ) ) [108] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Ay, I think my cousin meant well. ) [109] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! ) [110] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Here comes fair Mistress Anne. [1] => Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne! ) [STAGEDIR] => Re-enter ANNE PAGE ) [111] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The dinner is on the table; my father desires your [1] => worships' company. ) ) [112] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. ) [113] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. ) [114] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Will't please your worship to come in, sir? ) [115] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. ) [116] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => The dinner attends you, sir. ) [117] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, [1] => sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my [2] => cousin Shallow. [3] => A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his [4] => friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy [5] => yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I [6] => live like a poor gentleman born. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit SIMPLE ) [118] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I may not go in without your worship: they will not [1] => sit till you come. ) ) [119] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as [1] => though I did. ) ) [120] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => I pray you, sir, walk in. ) [121] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised [1] => my shin th' other day with playing at sword and [2] => dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a [3] => dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot [4] => abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your [5] => dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? ) ) [122] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. ) [123] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at [1] => it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see [2] => the bear loose, are you not? ) ) [124] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Ay, indeed, sir. ) [125] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen [1] => Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by [2] => the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so [3] => cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, [4] => indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored [5] => rough things. ) ) [126] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you. ) [127] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. ) [128] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come. ) [129] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Nay, pray you, lead the way. ) [130] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Come on, sir. ) [131] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. ) [132] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. ) [133] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. [1] => You do yourself wrong, indeed, la! ) ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE II. The same. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which [1] => is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, [2] => which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry [3] => nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and [4] => his wringer. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Well, sir. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it [1] => is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with [2] => Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire [3] => and require her to solicit your master's desires to [4] => Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will [5] => make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come. ) ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN [1] => Exit [2] => Exit BARDOLPH [3] => Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN [4] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Mine host of the Garter! ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my [1] => followers. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I sit at ten pounds a week. ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I [1] => will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall [2] => tap: said I well, bully Hector? ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Do so, good mine host. ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I have spoke; let him follow. [1] => Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. ) [STAGEDIR] => To BARDOLPH ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: [1] => an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered [2] => serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his [1] => thefts were too open; his filching was like an [2] => unskilful singer; he kept not time. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico [1] => for the phrase! ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Why, then, let kibes ensue. ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Young ravens must have food. ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Which of you know Ford of this town? ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => I ken the wight: he is of substance good. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Two yards, and more. ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two [1] => yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about [2] => thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's [3] => wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, [4] => she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I [5] => can construe the action of her familiar style; and [6] => the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished [7] => rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.' ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He hath studied her will, and translated her will, [1] => out of honesty into English. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her [1] => husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels. ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I have writ me here a letter to her: and here [1] => another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good [2] => eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious [3] => oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my [4] => foot, sometimes my portly belly. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Then did the sun on dunghill shine. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => I thank thee for that humour. ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a [1] => greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did [2] => seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's [3] => another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she [4] => is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will [5] => be cheater to them both, and they shall be [6] => exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West [7] => Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou [8] => this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to [9] => Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. ) ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, [1] => And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will run no base humour: here, take the [1] => humour-letter: I will keep the havior of reputation. ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => To ROBIN ) [1] => Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. [2] => Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; [3] => Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack! [4] => Falstaff will learn the humour of the age, [5] => French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page. ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds, [1] => And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: [2] => Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack, [3] => Base Phrygian Turk! ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => I have operations which be humours of revenge. ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Wilt thou revenge? ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => By welkin and her star! ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => With wit or steel? ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Array ( [0] => With both the humours, I: [1] => I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And I to Ford shall eke unfold [1] => How Falstaff, varlet vile, [2] => His dove will prove, his gold will hold, [3] => And his soft couch defile. ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to [1] => deal with poison; I will possess him with [2] => yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: [3] => that is my true humour. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on. ) ) ) [3] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY [1] => Re-enter RUGBY [2] => Enter DOCTOR CAIUS [3] => Writes [4] => Exit SIMPLE [5] => Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY [6] => Enter FENTON [7] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, [1] => and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor [2] => Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any [3] => body in the house, here will be an old abusing of [4] => God's patience and the king's English. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => I'll go watch. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in [1] => faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [2] => An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant [3] => shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no [4] => tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, [5] => that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish [6] => that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let [7] => that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit RUGBY ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Ay, for fault of a better. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => And Master Slender's your master? ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Ay, forsooth. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Does he not wear a great round beard, like a [1] => glover's paring-knife? ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a [1] => little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => A softly-sprighted man, is he not? ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands [1] => as any is between this and his head; he hath fought [2] => with a warrener. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not [1] => hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Yes, indeed, does he. ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell [1] => Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your [2] => master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish-- ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Out, alas! here comes my master. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; [1] => go into this closet: he will not stay long. [2] => What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! [3] => Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt [4] => he be not well, that he comes not home. [5] => And down, down, adown-a, &c. ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Shuts SIMPLE in the closet [1] => Singing ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, [1] => go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box, [2] => a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [1] => I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found [2] => the young man, he would have been horn-mad. ) [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je [1] => m'en vais a la cour--la grande affaire. ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Is it this, sir? ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere [1] => is dat knave Rugby? ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => What, John Rugby! John! ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Here, sir! ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, [1] => take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! [1] => Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet, [2] => dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad! ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron! [1] => Rugby, my rapier! ) [STAGEDIR] => Pulling SIMPLE out ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Good master, be content. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Wherefore shall I be content-a? ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => The young man is an honest man. ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is [1] => no honest man dat shall come in my closet. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth [1] => of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Vell. ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Ay, forsooth; to desire her to-- ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Peace, I pray you. ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale. ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to [1] => speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my [2] => master in the way of marriage. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my [1] => finger in the fire, and need not. ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper. [1] => Tarry you a little-a while. ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to SIMPLE ) [1] => had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him [2] => so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, [3] => man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and [4] => the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my [5] => master,--I may call him my master, look you, for I [6] => keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, [7] => scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do [8] => all myself,-- ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY ) [1] => come under one body's hand. ) ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to SIMPLE ) [1] => shall find it a great charge: and to be up early [2] => and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in [3] => your ear; I would have no words of it,--my master [4] => himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but [5] => notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,--that's [6] => neither here nor there. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by [1] => gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee [2] => park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest [3] => to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good [4] => you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two [5] => stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw [6] => at his dog: ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Alas, he speaks but for his friend. ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me [1] => dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I [2] => vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine [3] => host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I [4] => will myself have Anne Page. ) ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We [1] => must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! ) ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have [1] => not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my [2] => door. Follow my heels, Rugby. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I [1] => know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor [2] => knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more [3] => than I do with her, I thank heaven. ) ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Within ) ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you. ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => How now, good woman? how dost thou? ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => The better that it pleases your good worship to ask. ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and [1] => gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you [2] => that by the way; I praise heaven for it. ) ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit? ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but [1] => notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a [2] => book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart [3] => above your eye? ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Yes, marry, have I; what of that? ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such [1] => another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever [2] => broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I [3] => shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But [4] => indeed she is given too much to allicholy and [5] => musing: but for you--well, go to. ) ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money [1] => for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if [2] => thou seest her before me, commend me. ) ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your [1] => worship more of the wart the next time we have [2] => confidence; and of other wooers. ) ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Farewell to your worship. [1] => Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not; [2] => for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out [3] => upon't! what have I forgot? ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit FENTON ) ) ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => ACT II [SCENE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE I. Before PAGE'S house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter [1] => Enter MISTRESS FORD [2] => They retire [3] => Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM [4] => Exit [5] => Exit [6] => MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward [7] => Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY [8] => Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and MISTRESS QUICKLY [9] => Enter SHALLOW [10] => Drawing him aside [11] => They converse apart [12] => Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, and PAGE [13] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday- [1] => time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? [2] => Let me see. [3] => 'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though [4] => Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him [5] => not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more [6] => am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, [7] => so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you [8] => love sack, and so do I; would you desire better [9] => sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page,--at [10] => the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,-- [11] => that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis [12] => not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me, [13] => Thine own true knight, [14] => By day or night, [15] => Or any kind of light, [16] => With all his might [17] => For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF' [18] => What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked [19] => world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with [20] => age to show himself a young gallant! What an [21] => unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard [22] => picked--with the devil's name!--out of my [23] => conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? [24] => Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What [25] => should I say to him? I was then frugal of my [26] => mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill [27] => in the parliament for the putting down of men. How [28] => shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, [29] => as sure as his guts are made of puddings. ) [STAGEDIR] => Reads ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very [1] => ill. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Faith, but you do, in my mind. ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the [1] => contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel! ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => What's the matter, woman? ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I [1] => could come to such honour! ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is [1] => it? dispense with trifles; what is it? ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, [1] => I could be knighted. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights [1] => will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the [2] => article of thy gentry. ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I [1] => might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat [2] => men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of [3] => men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised [4] => women's modesty; and gave such orderly and [5] => well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I [6] => would have sworn his disposition would have gone to [7] => the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere [8] => and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to [9] => the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow, [10] => threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his [11] => belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged [12] => on him? I think the best way were to entertain him [13] => with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted [14] => him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and [1] => Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery [2] => of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy [3] => letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I [4] => protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a [5] => thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for [6] => different names--sure, more,--and these are of the [7] => second edition: he will print them, out of doubt; [8] => for he cares not what he puts into the press, when [9] => he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, [10] => and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you [11] => twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very [1] => words. What doth he think of us? ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to [1] => wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain [2] => myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; [3] => for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I [4] => know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him [1] => above deck. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => So will I if he come under my hatches, I'll never [1] => to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's [2] => appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in [3] => his suit and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, [4] => till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, [1] => that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, [2] => that my husband saw this letter! it would give [3] => eternal food to his jealousy. ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's [1] => as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause; [2] => and that I hope is an unmeasurable distance. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => You are the happier woman. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let's consult together against this greasy knight. [1] => Come hither. ) ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Well, I hope it be not so. ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs: [1] => Sir John affects thy wife. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Why, sir, my wife is not young. ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor, [1] => Both young and old, one with another, Ford; [2] => He loves the gallimaufry: Ford, perpend. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Love my wife! ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou, [1] => Like Sir Actaeon he, with Ringwood at thy heels: [2] => O, odious is the name! ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => What name, sir? ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The horn, I say. Farewell. [1] => Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night: [2] => Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo-birds do sing. [3] => Away, Sir Corporal Nym! [4] => Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => NYM [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => To PAGE ) [1] => of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I [2] => should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I [3] => have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity. [4] => He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. [5] => My name is Corporal Nym; I speak and I avouch; 'tis [6] => true: my name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife. [7] => Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese, [8] => and there's the humour of it. Adieu. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'The humour of it,' quoth a'! here's a fellow [1] => frights English out of his wits. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => I will seek out Falstaff. ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue. ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => If I do find it: well. ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest [1] => o' the town commended him for a true man. ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well. ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => How now, Meg! ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Whither go you, George? Hark you. ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy? ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home, go. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now, [1] => will you go, Mistress Page? ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George. [1] => Look who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger [2] => to this paltry knight. ) [STAGEDIR] => Aside to MISTRESS FORD ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to MISTRESS PAGE ) [1] => she'll fit it. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => You are come to see my daughter Anne? ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne? ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go in with us and see: we have an hour's talk with [1] => you. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => How now, Master Ford! ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => You heard what this knave told me, did you not? ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Yes: and you heard what the other told me? ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Do you think there is truth in them? ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would [1] => offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent [2] => towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded men; [3] => very rogues, now they be out of service. ) ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Were they his men? ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Marry, were they. ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at [1] => the Garter? ) ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage [1] => towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and [2] => what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it [3] => lie on my head. ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to [1] => turn them together. A man may be too confident: I [2] => would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied. ) ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes: [1] => there is either liquor in his pate or money in his [2] => purse when he looks so merrily. [3] => How now, mine host! ) [STAGEDIR] => Enter Host ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => How now, bully-rook! thou'rt a gentleman. [1] => Cavaleiro-justice, I say! ) ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and [1] => twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go [2] => with us? we have sport in hand. ) ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Tell him, cavaleiro-justice; tell him, bully-rook. ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh [1] => the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor. ) ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you. ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => What sayest thou, my bully-rook? ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => To PAGE ) [1] => merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; [2] => and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; [3] => for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. [4] => Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. ) ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hast thou no suit against my knight, my [1] => guest-cavaleire? ) ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of [1] => burnt sack to give me recourse to him and tell him [2] => my name is Brook; only for a jest. ) ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress; [1] => --said I well?--and thy name shall be Brook. It is [2] => a merry knight. Will you go, An-heires? ) ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Have with you, mine host. ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in [1] => his rapier. ) ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times [1] => you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and [2] => I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis [3] => here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long [4] => sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. ) ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Have with you. I would rather hear them scold than fight. ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Though Page be a secure fool, an stands so firmly [1] => on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my [2] => opinion so easily: she was in his company at Page's [3] => house; and what they made there, I know not. Well, [4] => I will look further into't: and I have a disguise [5] => to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not [6] => my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. ) ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE II. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL [1] => Enter ROBIN [2] => Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY [3] => Exit [4] => Enter BARDOLPH [5] => Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised [6] => Exit BARDOLPH [7] => Exit [8] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I will not lend thee a penny. ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, then the world's mine oyster. [1] => Which I with sword will open. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should [1] => lay my countenance to pawn; I have grated upon my [2] => good friends for three reprieves for you and your [3] => coach-fellow Nym; or else you had looked through [4] => the grate, like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in [5] => hell for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were [6] => good soldiers and tall fellows; and when Mistress [7] => Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon [8] => mine honour thou hadst it not. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteen pence? ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou I'll [1] => endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more [2] => about me, I am no gibbet for you. Go. A short knife [3] => and a throng! To your manor of Pickt-hatch! Go. [4] => You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue! you [5] => stand upon your honour! Why, thou unconfinable [6] => baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the [7] => terms of my honour precise: I, I, I myself [8] => sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand [9] => and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to [10] => shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, [11] => will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain [12] => looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your [13] => bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your [14] => honour! You will not do it, you! ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => I do relent: what would thou more of man? ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Let her approach. ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Give your worship good morrow. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Good morrow, good wife. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Not so, an't please your worship. ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Good maid, then. ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll be sworn, [1] => As my mother was, the first hour I was born. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I do believe the swearer. What with me? ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouchsafe thee [1] => the hearing. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There is one Mistress Ford, sir:--I pray, come a [1] => little nearer this ways:--I myself dwell with master [2] => Doctor Caius,-- ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,-- ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, [1] => come a little nearer this ways. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I warrant thee, nobody hears; mine own people, mine [1] => own people. ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Are they so? God bless them and make them his servants! ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Well, Mistress Ford; what of her? ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord Lord! your [1] => worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you and all [2] => of us, I pray! ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford,-- ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you [1] => have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis [2] => wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the [3] => court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her [4] => to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and [5] => lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I warrant [6] => you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift [7] => after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so [8] => rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in [9] => such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of [10] => the best and the fairest, that would have won any [11] => woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never [12] => get an eye-wink of her: I had myself twenty angels [13] => given me this morning; but I defy all angels, in [14] => any such sort, as they say, but in the way of [15] => honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get [16] => her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of [17] => them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which [18] => is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => But what says she to me? be brief, my good [1] => she-Mercury. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, she hath received your letter, for the which [1] => she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you [2] => to notify that her husband will be absence from his [3] => house between ten and eleven. ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Ten and eleven? ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the [1] => picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, [2] => her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet [3] => woman leads an ill life with him: he's a very [4] => jealousy man: she leads a very frampold life with [5] => him, good heart. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will [1] => not fail her. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to [1] => your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty [2] => commendations to you too: and let me tell you in [3] => your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and [4] => one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor [5] => evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the [6] => other: and she bade me tell your worship that her [7] => husband is seldom from home; but she hopes there [8] => will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon [9] => a man: surely I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Not I, I assure thee: setting the attractions of my [1] => good parts aside I have no other charms. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Blessing on your heart for't! ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and [1] => Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me? ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That were a jest indeed! they have not so little [1] => grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! but [2] => Mistress Page would desire you to send her your [3] => little page, of all loves: her husband has a [4] => marvellous infection to the little page; and truly [5] => Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in [6] => Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what [7] => she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go [8] => to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as [9] => she will: and truly she deserves it; for if there [10] => be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must [11] => send her your page; no remedy. ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Why, I will. ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may come and [1] => go between you both; and in any case have a [2] => nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and [3] => the boy never need to understand any thing; for [4] => 'tis not good that children should know any [5] => wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, [6] => as they say, and know the world. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's [1] => my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with [2] => this woman. [3] => This news distracts me! ) [STAGEDIR] => Exeunt MISTRESS QUICKLY and ROBIN ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: [1] => Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights: [2] => Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make [1] => more of thy old body than I have done. Will they [2] => yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense [3] => of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I [4] => thank thee. Let them say 'tis grossly done; so it be [5] => fairly done, no matter. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would fain [1] => speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath [2] => sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. ) ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Brook is his name? ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Ay, sir. ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Call him in. [1] => Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such [2] => liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page [3] => have I encompassed you? go to; via! ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit BARDOLPH ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Bless you, sir! ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => And you, sir! Would you speak with me? ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I make bold to press with so little preparation upon [1] => you. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => You're welcome. What's your will? Give us leave, drawer. ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you. ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; [1] => for I must let you understand I think myself in [2] => better plight for a lender than you are: the which [3] => hath something embolden'd me to this unseasoned [4] => intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all [5] => ways do lie open. ) ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: [1] => if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or [2] => half, for easing me of the carriage. ) ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter. ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing. ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Speak, good Master Brook: I shall be glad to be [1] => your servant. ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, I hear you are a scholar,--I will be brief [1] => with you,--and you have been a man long known to me, [2] => though I had never so good means, as desire, to make [3] => myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a [4] => thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine [5] => own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have [6] => one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, [7] => turn another into the register of your own; that I [8] => may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you [9] => yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender. ) ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Very well, sir; proceed. ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There is a gentlewoman in this town; her husband's [1] => name is Ford. ) ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Well, sir. ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, [1] => bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting [2] => observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; [3] => fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly [4] => give me sight of her; not only bought many presents [5] => to give her, but have given largely to many to know [6] => what she would have given; briefly, I have pursued [7] => her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the [8] => wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have [9] => merited, either in my mind or, in my means, meed, [10] => I am sure, I have received none; unless experience [11] => be a jewel that I have purchased at an infinite [12] => rate, and that hath taught me to say this: [13] => 'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues; [14] => Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.' ) ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands? ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Never. ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Have you importuned her to such a purpose? ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Never. ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Of what quality was your love, then? ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so [1] => that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place [2] => where I erected it. ) ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => When I have told you that, I have told you all. [1] => Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in [2] => other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that [3] => there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir [4] => John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a [5] => gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable [6] => discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your [7] => place and person, generally allowed for your many [8] => war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. ) ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => O, sir! ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend [1] => it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only [2] => give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as [3] => to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this [4] => Ford's wife: use your art of wooing; win her to [5] => consent to you: if any man may, you may as soon as [6] => any. ) ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Would it apply well to the vehemency of your [1] => affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? [2] => Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. ) ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on [1] => the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my [2] => soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to [3] => be looked against. Now, could I could come to her [4] => with any detection in my hand, my desires had [5] => instance and argument to commend themselves: I [6] => could drive her then from the ward of her purity, [7] => her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand [8] => other her defences, which now are too too strongly [9] => embattled against me. What say you to't, Sir John? ) ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Brook, I will first make bold with your [1] => money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a [2] => gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. ) ) [74] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => O good sir! ) [75] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I say you shall. ) [76] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none. ) [77] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want [1] => none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her [2] => own appointment; even as you came in to me, her [3] => assistant or go-between parted from me: I say I [4] => shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at [5] => that time the jealous rascally knave her husband [6] => will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall [7] => know how I speed. ) ) [78] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, [1] => sir? ) ) [79] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not: [1] => yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the [2] => jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the [3] => which his wife seems to me well-favored. I will [4] => use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; [5] => and there's my harvest-home. ) ) [80] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him [1] => if you saw him. ) ) [81] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will [1] => stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my [2] => cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er the [3] => cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I [4] => will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt [5] => lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. [6] => Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; [7] => thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and [8] => cuckold. Come to me soon at night. ) ) [82] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What a damned Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is [1] => ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is [2] => improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him; the [3] => hour is fixed; the match is made. Would any man [4] => have thought this? See the hell of having a false [5] => woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers [6] => ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not [7] => only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under [8] => the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that [9] => does me this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds [10] => well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are [11] => devils' additions, the names of fiends: but [12] => Cuckold! Wittol!--Cuckold! the devil himself hath [13] => not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he [14] => will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will [15] => rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh [16] => the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my [17] => aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling [18] => gelding, than my wife with herself; then she plots, [19] => then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they [20] => think in their hearts they may effect, they will [21] => break their hearts but they will effect. God be [22] => praised for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour. [23] => I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on [24] => Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; [25] => better three hours too soon than a minute too late. [26] => Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! ) ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE III. A field near Windsor. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY [1] => Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE [2] => Aside to them [3] => Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER [4] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Jack Rugby! ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Sir? ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Vat is de clock, Jack? ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he [1] => has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, [2] => Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill [1] => him, if he came. ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. [1] => Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Alas, sir, I cannot fence. ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Villany, take your rapier. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => RUGBY [LINE] => Forbear; here's company. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Bless thee, bully doctor! ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Save you, Master Doctor Caius! ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Now, good master doctor! ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Give you good morrow, sir. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee [1] => traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to [2] => see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy [3] => distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is [4] => he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my [5] => AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is [6] => he dead, bully stale? is he dead? ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he [1] => is not show his face. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy! ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or [1] => seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of [1] => souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should [2] => fight, you go against the hair of your professions. [3] => Is it not true, Master Page? ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great [1] => fighter, though now a man of peace. ) ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of [1] => the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to [2] => make one. Though we are justices and doctors and [3] => churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our [4] => youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => 'Tis true, Master Shallow. ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor [1] => Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of [2] => the peace: you have showed yourself a wise [3] => physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise [4] => and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor. ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater. ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Mock-vater! vat is dat? ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully. ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de [1] => Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me [2] => vill cut his ears. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => That is, he will make thee amends. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; [1] => for, by gar, me vill have it. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Me tank you for dat. ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, and [1] => Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you [2] => through the town to Frogmore. ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Sir Hugh is there, is he? ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will [1] => bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well? ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => We will do it. ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Array ( [0] => PAGE [1] => SHALLOW [2] => SLENDER ) [LINE] => Adieu, good master doctor. ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a [1] => jack-an-ape to Anne Page. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold [1] => water on thy choler: go about the fields with me [2] => through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress [3] => Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou [4] => shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well? ) ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you; [1] => and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, [2] => de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne [1] => Page. Said I well? ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => By gar, 'tis good; vell said. ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Let us wag, then. ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. ) ) ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => ACT III [SCENE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE I. A field near Frogmore. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE [1] => Exit [2] => Re-enter SIMPLE [3] => Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER [4] => Enter Host, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY [5] => Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and Host [6] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, [1] => and friend Simple by your name, which way have you [2] => looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic? ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every [1] => way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town [2] => way. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I most fehemently desire you you will also look that [1] => way. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => I will, sir. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and [1] => trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have [2] => deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog [3] => his urinals about his knave's costard when I have [4] => good opportunities for the ork. 'Pless my soul! [5] => To shallow rivers, to whose falls [6] => Melodious birds sings madrigals; [7] => There will we make our peds of roses, [8] => And a thousand fragrant posies. [9] => To shallow-- [10] => Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [11] => Melodious birds sing madrigals-- [12] => When as I sat in Pabylon-- [13] => And a thousand vagram posies. [14] => To shallow &c. ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Sings [1] => Sings ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He's welcome. [1] => To shallow rivers, to whose falls- [2] => Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he? ) [STAGEDIR] => Sings ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master [1] => Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over [2] => the stile, this way. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => How now, master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. [1] => Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student [2] => from his book, and it is wonderful. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => 'Save you, good Sir Hugh! ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What, the sword and the word! do you study them [1] => both, master parson? ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this [1] => raw rheumatic day! ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => There is reasons and causes for it. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => We are come to you to do a good office, master parson. ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Fery well: what is it? ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike [1] => having received wrong by some person, is at most [2] => odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you [3] => saw. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never [1] => heard a man of his place, gravity and learning, so [2] => wide of his own respect. ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => What is he? ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the [1] => renowned French physician. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as [1] => lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Why? ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, [1] => --and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you [2] => would desires to be acquainted withal. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him. ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder: [1] => here comes Doctor Caius. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => So do you, good master doctor. ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep [1] => their limbs whole and hack our English. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. [1] => Vherefore vill you not meet-a me? ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS ) [1] => in good time. ) ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS ) [1] => laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you [2] => in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. [3] => I will knog your urinals about your knave's cockscomb [4] => for missing your meetings and appointments. ) [STAGEDIR] => Aloud ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Diable! Jack Rugby,--mine host de Jarteer,--have I [1] => not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place [2] => I did appoint? ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => As I am a Christians soul now, look you, this is the [1] => place appointed: I'll be judgement by mine host of [2] => the Garter. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, [1] => soul-curer and body-curer! ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Ay, dat is very good; excellent. ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I [1] => politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I [2] => lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the [3] => motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir [4] => Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the [5] => no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me [6] => thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have [7] => deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong [8] => places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are [9] => whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay [10] => their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; [11] => follow, follow, follow. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of [1] => us, ha, ha? ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I [1] => desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog [2] => our prains together to be revenge on this same [3] => scall, scurvy cogging companion, the host of the Garter. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me [1] => where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too. ) ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow. ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE II. A street. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN [1] => Enter FORD [2] => Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN [3] => Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY [4] => Exeunt SHALLOW, and SLENDER [5] => Exit RUGBY [6] => Exit [7] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to [1] => be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether [2] => had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels? ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man [1] => than follow him like a dwarf. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => O, you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier. ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you? ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home? ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want [1] => of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, [2] => you two would marry. ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Be sure of that,--two other husbands. ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Where had you this pretty weather-cock? ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my [1] => husband had him of. What do you call your knight's [2] => name, sirrah? ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Sir John Falstaff. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Sir John Falstaff! ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a [1] => league between my good man and he! Is your wife at [2] => home indeed? ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Indeed she is. ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any [1] => thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. [2] => Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile, as [3] => easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve [4] => score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he [5] => gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's [6] => going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A [7] => man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And [8] => Falstaff's boy with her! Good plots, they are laid; [9] => and our revolted wives share damnation together. [10] => Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck [11] => the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming [12] => Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and [13] => wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all [14] => my neighbours shall cry aim. [15] => The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me [16] => search: there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be [17] => rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as [18] => positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is [19] => there: I will go. ) [STAGEDIR] => Clock heard ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Array ( [0] => SHALLOW [1] => PAGE ) [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well met, Master Ford. [1] => &c. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; [1] => and I pray you all go with me. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => I must excuse myself, Master Ford. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine with [1] => Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for [2] => more money than I'll speak of. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and [1] => my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer. ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => I hope I have your good will, father Page. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you: [1] => but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a [1] => Quickly tell me so mush. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers, he [1] => dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he [2] => speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will [3] => carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his buttons; he [4] => will carry't. ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is [1] => of no having: he kept company with the wild prince [2] => and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too [3] => much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes [4] => with the finger of my substance: if he take her, [5] => let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on [6] => my consent, and my consent goes not that way. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me [1] => to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have [2] => sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor, [3] => you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing [1] => at Master Page's. ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight [1] => Falstaff, and drink canary with him. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) [1] => with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles? ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => All [LINE] => Have with you to see this monster. ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE III. A room in FORD'S house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE [1] => Enter Servants with a basket [2] => Exeunt Servants [3] => Enter ROBIN [4] => Exit [5] => Enter FALSTAFF [6] => Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen [7] => Enter FORD, PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS [8] => Exit [9] => Exeunt PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS [10] => Re-enter FORD, PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS [11] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => What, John! What, Robert! ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Quickly, quickly! is the buck-basket-- ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => I warrant. What, Robin, I say! ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Come, come, come. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Here, set it down. ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Give your men the charge; we must be brief. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be [1] => ready here hard by in the brew-house: and when I [2] => suddenly call you, come forth, and without any pause [3] => or staggering take this basket on your shoulders: [4] => that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry [5] => it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there [6] => empty it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames side. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => You will do it? ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I ha' told them over and over; they lack no [1] => direction. Be gone, and come when you are called. ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Here comes little Robin. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you? ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My master, Sir John, is come in at your back-door, [1] => Mistress Ford, and requests your company. ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us? ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your [1] => being here and hath threatened to put me into [2] => everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for he [3] => swears he'll turn me away. ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine shall be [1] => a tailor to thee and shall make thee a new doublet [2] => and hose. I'll go hide me. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. [1] => Mistress Page, remember you your cue. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit ROBIN ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity, [1] => this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know [2] => turtles from jays. ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let [1] => me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the [2] => period of my ambition: O this blessed hour! ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => O sweet Sir John! ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, [1] => Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would [2] => thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the [3] => best lord; I would make thee my lady. ) ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady! ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let the court of France show me such another. I see [1] => how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast [2] => the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the [3] => ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of [4] => Venetian admittance. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing [1] => else; nor that well neither. ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou [1] => wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm [2] => fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion [3] => to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see [4] => what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature [5] => thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Believe me, there is no such thing in me. ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What made me love thee? let that persuade thee [1] => there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I [2] => cannot cog and say thou art this and that, like a [3] => many of these lisping hawthorn-buds, that come like [4] => women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury [5] => in simple time; I cannot: but I love thee; none [6] => but thee; and thou deservest it. ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love Mistress Page. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the [1] => Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek [2] => of a lime-kiln. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one [1] => day find it. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not [1] => be in that mind. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ROBIN [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Within ) [1] => Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and [2] => looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently. ) ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras. ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman. [1] => What's the matter? how now! ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => FALSTAFF hides himself [1] => Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, [1] => you're overthrown, you're undone for ever! ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => What's the matter, good Mistress Page? ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an honest man [1] => to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion! ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => What cause of suspicion? ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What cause of suspicion! Out pon you! how am I [1] => mistook in you! ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Why, alas, what's the matter? ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the [1] => officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that [2] => he says is here now in the house by your consent, to [3] => take an ill advantage of his assence: you are undone. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => 'Tis not so, I hope. ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man [1] => here! but 'tis most certain your husband's coming, [2] => with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a [3] => one. I come before to tell you. If you know [4] => yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you [5] => have a friend here convey, convey him out. Be not [6] => amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your [7] => reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What shall I do? There is a gentleman my dear [1] => friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his [2] => peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were [3] => out of the house. ) ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => For shame! never stand 'you had rather' and 'you [1] => had rather:' your husband's here at hand, bethink [2] => you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot [3] => hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here [4] => is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he [5] => may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as [6] => if it were going to bucking: or--it is whiting-time [7] => --send him by your two men to Datchet-mead. ) ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => He's too big to go in there. What shall I do? ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Coming forward ) [1] => me see't! I'll in, I'll in. Follow your friend's [2] => counsel. I'll in. ) ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight? ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I love thee. Help me away. Let me creep in here. [1] => I'll never-- ) ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men, [1] => Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight! ) ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What, John! Robert! John! [1] => Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where's the [2] => cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry them to [3] => the laundress in Datchet-meat; quickly, come. ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Exit ROBIN [1] => Re-enter Servants ) ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, [1] => why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest; [2] => I deserve it. How now! whither bear you this? ) ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Servant [LINE] => To the laundress, forsooth. ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You [1] => were best meddle with buck-washing. ) ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck! [1] => Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; [2] => and of the season too, it shall appear. [3] => Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my [4] => dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my [5] => chambers; search, seek, find out: I'll warrant [6] => we'll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first. [7] => So, now uncape. ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Exeunt Servants with the basket [1] => Locking the door ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much. ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen: you shall see [1] => sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. ) ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies. ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not [1] => jealous in France. ) ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Is there not a double excellency in this? ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I know not which pleases me better, that my husband [1] => is deceived, or Sir John. ) ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What a taking was he in when your husband asked who [1] => was in the basket! ) ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so [1] => throwing him into the water will do him a benefit. ) ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same [1] => strain were in the same distress. ) ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I think my husband hath some special suspicion of [1] => Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross [2] => in his jealousy till now. ) ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have [1] => more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will [2] => scarce obey this medicine. ) ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress [1] => Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the [2] => water; and give him another hope, to betray him to [3] => another punishment? ) ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => We will do it: let him be sent for to-morrow, [1] => eight o'clock, to have amends. ) ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that [1] => he could not compass. ) ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside to MISTRESS FORD ) ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => You use me well, Master Ford, do you? ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Ay, I do so. ) [74] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Heaven make you better than your thoughts! ) [75] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Amen! ) [76] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford. ) [77] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Ay, ay; I must bear it. ) [78] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => If there be any pody in the house, and in the [1] => chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, [2] => heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment! ) ) [79] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => By gar, nor I too: there is no bodies. ) [80] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? What [1] => spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I [2] => would not ha' your distemper in this kind for the [3] => wealth of Windsor Castle. ) ) [81] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => 'Tis my fault, Master Page: I suffer for it. ) [82] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as [1] => honest a 'omans as I will desires among five [2] => thousand, and five hundred too. ) ) [83] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. ) [84] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come, walk in [1] => the Park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter [2] => make known to you why I have done this. Come, [3] => wife; come, Mistress Page. I pray you, pardon me; [4] => pray heartily, pardon me. ) ) [85] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock [1] => him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house [2] => to breakfast: after, we'll a-birding together; I [3] => have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so? ) ) [86] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Any thing. ) [87] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => If there is one, I shall make two in the company. ) [88] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => If dere be one or two, I shall make-a the turd. ) [89] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Pray you, go, Master Page. ) [90] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on the lousy [1] => knave, mine host. ) ) [91] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Dat is good; by gar, with all my heart! ) [92] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries! ) ) ) [3] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE IV. A room in PAGE'S house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE [1] => They converse apart [2] => Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and MISTRESS QUICKLY [3] => Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE [4] => Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER [5] => Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ANNE PAGE [6] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I see I cannot get thy father's love; [1] => Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Alas, how then? ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, thou must be thyself. [1] => He doth object I am too great of birth--, [2] => And that, my state being gall'd with my expense, [3] => I seek to heal it only by his wealth: [4] => Besides these, other bars he lays before me, [5] => My riots past, my wild societies; [6] => And tells me 'tis a thing impossible [7] => I should love thee but as a property. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => May be he tells you true. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! [1] => Albeit I will confess thy father's wealth [2] => Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: [3] => Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value [4] => Than stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags; [5] => And 'tis the very riches of thyself [6] => That now I aim at. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Gentle Master Fenton, [1] => Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir: [2] => If opportunity and humblest suit [3] => Cannot attain it, why, then,--hark you hither! ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall [1] => speak for himself. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but [1] => venturing. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Be not dismayed. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, [1] => but that I am afeard. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you. ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I come to him. [1] => This is my father's choice. [2] => O, what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults [3] => Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year! ) [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you. ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father! ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you [1] => good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress [2] => Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of [3] => a pen, good uncle. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in [1] => Gloucestershire. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the [1] => degree of a squire. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good [1] => comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Now, Master Slender,-- ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Now, good Mistress Anne,-- ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => What is your will? ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My will! 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest [1] => indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I [2] => am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me? ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing [1] => with you. Your father and my uncle hath made [2] => motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be [3] => his dole! They can tell you how things go better [4] => than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne. [1] => Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here? [2] => You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house: [3] => I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Nay, Master Page, be not impatient. ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Good Master Fenton, come not to my child. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => She is no match for you. ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Sir, will you hear me? ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, good Master Fenton. [1] => Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in. [2] => Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton. ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Speak to Mistress Page. ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter [1] => In such a righteous fashion as I do, [2] => Perforce, against all cheques, rebukes and manners, [3] => I must advance the colours of my love [4] => And not retire: let me have your good will. ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool. ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => I mean it not; I seek you a better husband. ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => That's my master, master doctor. ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth [1] => And bowl'd to death with turnips! ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton, [1] => I will not be your friend nor enemy: [2] => My daughter will I question how she loves you, [3] => And as I find her, so am I affected. [4] => Till then farewell, sir: she must needs go in; [5] => Her father will be angry. ) ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Nan. ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => This is my doing, now: 'Nay,' said I, 'will you cast [1] => away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on [2] => Master Fenton:' this is my doing. ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night [1] => Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Now heaven send thee good fortune! [1] => A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through [2] => fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I [3] => would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would [4] => Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master [5] => Fenton had her; I will do what I can for them all [6] => three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good [7] => as my word; but speciously for Master Fenton. Well, [8] => I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from [9] => my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it! ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit FENTON ) ) ) [4] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH [1] => Re-enter BARDOLPH with sack [2] => Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY [3] => Exit [4] => Enter FORD [5] => Exit [6] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Bardolph, I say,-- ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Here, sir. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [1] => Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a [2] => barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the [3] => Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, [4] => I'll have my brains ta'en out and buttered, and give [5] => them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues [6] => slighted me into the river with as little remorse as [7] => they would have drowned a blind bitch's puppies, [8] => fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size [9] => that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the [10] => bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had [11] => been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and [12] => shallow,--a death that I abhor; for the water swells [13] => a man; and what a thing should I have been when I [14] => had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit BARDOLPH ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my [1] => belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for [2] => pills to cool the reins. Call her in. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Come in, woman! ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your worship [1] => good morrow. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of [1] => sack finely. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => With eggs, sir? ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [1] => How now! ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit BARDOLPH ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford. ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown [1] => into the ford; I have my belly full of ford. ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: [1] => she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn [1] => your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning [2] => a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her [3] => between eight and nine: I must carry her word [4] => quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her [1] => think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, [2] => and then judge of my merit. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => I will tell her. ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou? ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Eight and nine, sir. ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Well, be gone: I will not miss her. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Peace be with you, sir. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word [1] => to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he comes. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Bless you, sir! ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Now, master Brook, you come to know what hath passed [1] => between me and Ford's wife? ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her [1] => house the hour she appointed me. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => And sped you, sir? ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Very ill-favoredly, Master Brook. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => How so, sir? Did she change her determination? ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, Master Brook; but the peaking Cornuto her [1] => husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual [2] => 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our [3] => encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, [4] => and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; [5] => and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither [6] => provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, [7] => forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => What, while you were there? ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => While I was there. ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => And did he search for you, and could not find you? ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes [1] => in one Mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's [2] => approach; and, in her invention and Ford's wife's [3] => distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket. ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => A buck-basket! ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By the Lord, a buck-basket! rammed me in with foul [1] => shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy [2] => napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest [3] => compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril. ) ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => And how long lay you there? ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have [1] => suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. [2] => Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's [3] => knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their [4] => mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to [5] => Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met [6] => the jealous knave their master in the door, who [7] => asked them once or twice what they had in their [8] => basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave [9] => would have searched it; but fate, ordaining he [10] => should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he [11] => for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But [12] => mark the sequel, Master Brook: I suffered the pangs [13] => of three several deaths; first, an intolerable [14] => fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten [15] => bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a good [16] => bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to [17] => point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, [18] => like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes [19] => that fretted in their own grease: think of that,--a [20] => man of my kidney,--think of that,--that am as subject [21] => to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution [22] => and thaw: it was a miracle to scape suffocation. [23] => And in the height of this bath, when I was more than [24] => half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be [25] => thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, [26] => in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of [27] => that,--hissing hot,--think of that, Master Brook. ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => In good sadness, I am sorry that for my sake you [1] => have sufferd all this. My suit then is desperate; [2] => you'll undertake her no more? ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have [1] => been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her [2] => husband is this morning gone a-birding: I have [3] => received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt [4] => eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => 'Tis past eight already, sir. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. [1] => Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall [2] => know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be [3] => crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall [4] => have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall [5] => cuckold Ford. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I [1] => sleep? Master Ford awake! awake, Master Ford! [2] => there's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. [3] => This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen [4] => and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself [5] => what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my [6] => house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he [7] => should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, [8] => nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that [9] => guides him should aid him, I will search [10] => impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, [11] => yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame: [12] => if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go [13] => with me: I'll be horn-mad. ) ) ) ) ) ) [3] => Array ( [TITLE] => ACT IV [SCENE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE I. A street. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM PAGE [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou? ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but, [1] => truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing [2] => into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young [1] => man here to school. Look, where his master comes; [2] => 'tis a playing-day, I see. [3] => How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day? ) [STAGEDIR] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Blessing of his heart! ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in [1] => the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some [2] => questions in his accidence. ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Come hither, William; hold up your head; come. ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your [1] => master, be not afraid. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => William, how many numbers is in nouns? ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Two. ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Truly, I thought there had been one number more, [1] => because they say, ''Od's nouns.' ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William? ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Pulcher. ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure. ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace. [1] => What is 'lapis,' William? ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => A stone. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => And what is 'a stone,' William? ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => A pebble. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain. ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Lapis. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That is a good William. What is he, William, that [1] => does lend articles? ) ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus [1] => declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: [1] => genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case? ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Accusativo, hinc. ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you, have your remembrance, child, [1] => accusative, hung, hang, hog. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative [1] => case, William? ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => O,--vocativo, O. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Remember, William; focative is caret. ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => And that's a good root. ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => 'Oman, forbear. ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Peace! ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => What is your genitive case plural, William? ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Genitive case! ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Ay. ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Genitive,--horum, harum, horum. ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name [1] => her, child, if she be a whore. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => For shame, 'oman. ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You do ill to teach the child such words: he [1] => teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do [2] => fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you! ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no [1] => understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the [2] => genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as [3] => I would desires. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Prithee, hold thy peace. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns. ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => WILLIAM PAGE [LINE] => Forsooth, I have forgot. ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,' [1] => your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be [2] => preeches. Go your ways, and play; go. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => He is a better scholar than I thought he was. ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page. ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [1] => Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit SIR HUGH EVANS ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE II. A room in FORD'S house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD [1] => Exit FALSTAFF [2] => Enter MISTRESS PAGE [3] => Re-enter FALSTAFF [4] => Exit FALSTAFF [5] => Exit [6] => Exit [7] => Re-enter MISTRESS FORD with two Servants [8] => Exit [9] => Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS [10] => Pulling clothes out of the basket [11] => Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE [12] => Exit FALSTAFF [13] => Exeunt FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS [14] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my [1] => sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, [2] => and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not [3] => only, Mistress Ford, in the simple [4] => office of love, but in all the accoutrement, [5] => complement and ceremony of it. But are you [6] => sure of your husband now? ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => He's a-birding, sweet Sir John. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Within ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Step into the chamber, Sir John. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself? ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Why, none but mine own people. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Indeed! ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, certainly. [1] => Speak louder. ) [STAGEDIR] => Aside to her ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Why? ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: [1] => he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails [2] => against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's [3] => daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets [4] => himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer [5] => out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but [6] => tameness, civility and patience, to this his [7] => distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here. ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Why, does he talk of him? ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the [1] => last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests [2] => to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and [3] => the rest of their company from their sport, to make [4] => another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad [5] => the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => How near is he, Mistress Page? ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon. ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => I am undone! The knight is here. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead [1] => man. What a woman are you!--Away with him, away [2] => with him! better shame than murder. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Which way should be go? how should I bestow him? [1] => Shall I put him into the basket again? ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go [1] => out ere he come? ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door [1] => with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise [2] => you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There they always use to discharge their [1] => birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole. ) ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Where is it? ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => He will seek there, on my word. Neither press, [1] => coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an [2] => abstract for the remembrance of such places, and [3] => goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house. ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I'll go out then. ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir [1] => John. Unless you go out disguised-- ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => How might we disguise him? ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown [1] => big enough for him otherwise he might put on a hat, [2] => a muffler and a kerchief, and so escape. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather [1] => than a mischief. ) ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a [1] => gown above. ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he [1] => is: and there's her thrummed hat and her muffler [2] => too. Run up, Sir John. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will [1] => look some linen for your head. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: put [1] => on the gown the while. ) ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he [1] => cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears [2] => she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath [3] => threatened to beat her. ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the [1] => devil guide his cudgel afterwards! ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => But is my husband coming? ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ah, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket [1] => too, howsoever he hath had intelligence. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the [1] => basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as [2] => they did last time. ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him [1] => like the witch of Brentford. ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the [1] => basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight. ) ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough. [1] => We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, [2] => Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: [3] => We do not act that often jest and laugh; [4] => 'Tis old, but true, Still swine eat all the draff. ) ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders: [1] => your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it [2] => down, obey him: quickly, dispatch. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => First Servant [LINE] => Come, come, take it up. ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Second Servant [LINE] => Pray heaven it be not full of knight again. ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => First Servant [LINE] => I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any [1] => way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket, [2] => villain! Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket! [3] => O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a [4] => pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil [5] => be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth! [6] => Behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching! ) ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go [1] => loose any longer; you must be pinioned. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog! ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed. ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => So say I too, sir. [1] => Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford the honest [2] => woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that [3] => hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect [4] => without cause, mistress, do I? ) [STAGEDIR] => Re-enter MISTRESS FORD ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in [1] => any dishonesty. ) ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah! ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => This passes! ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone. ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => I shall find you anon. ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's [1] => clothes? Come away. ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Empty the basket, I say! ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Why, man, why? ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed [1] => out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may [2] => not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: [3] => my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable. [4] => Pluck me out all the linen. ) ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death. ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Here's no man. ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this [1] => wrongs you. ) ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the [1] => imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. ) ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Well, he's not here I seek for. ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => No, nor nowhere else but in your brain. ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Help to search my house this one time. If I find [1] => not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let [2] => me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of [3] => me, 'As jealous as Ford, Chat searched a hollow [4] => walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more; [5] => once more search with me. ) ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman [1] => down; my husband will come into the chamber. ) ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Old woman! what old woman's that? ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not [1] => forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does [2] => she? We are simple men; we do not know what's [3] => brought to pass under the profession of [4] => fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, [5] => by the figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond [6] => our element we know nothing. Come down, you witch, [7] => you hag, you; come down, I say! ) ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him [1] => not strike the old woman. ) ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Come, Mother Prat; come, give me your hand. ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll prat her. [1] => Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you baggage, you [2] => polecat, you runyon! out, out! I'll conjure you, [3] => I'll fortune-tell you. ) [STAGEDIR] => Beating him ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the [1] => poor woman. ) ) [74] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you. ) [75] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Hang her, witch! ) [76] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => By the yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch [1] => indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; [2] => I spy a great peard under his muffler. ) ) [77] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; [1] => see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus [2] => upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. ) ) [78] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let's obey his humour a little further: come, [1] => gentlemen. ) ) [79] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. ) [80] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most [1] => unpitifully, methought. ) ) [81] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o'er the [1] => altar; it hath done meritorious service. ) ) [82] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What think you? may we, with the warrant of [1] => womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, [2] => pursue him with any further revenge? ) ) [83] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of [1] => him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with [2] => fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the [3] => way of waste, attempt us again. ) ) [84] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? ) [85] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the [1] => figures out of your husband's brains. If they can [2] => find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight [3] => shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be [4] => the ministers. ) ) [86] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and [1] => methinks there would be no period to the jest, [2] => should he not be publicly shamed. ) ) [87] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Come, to the forge with it then; shape it: I would [1] => not have things cool. ) ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter Host and BARDOLPH [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your [1] => horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at [2] => court, and they are going to meet him. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear [1] => not of him in the court. Let me speak with the [2] => gentlemen: they speak English? ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay; [1] => I'll sauce them: they have had my house a week at [2] => command; I have turned away my other guests: they [3] => must come off; I'll sauce them. Come. ) ) ) ) [3] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE IV. A room in FORD'S house. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS [1] => Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS [2] => Exit ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever [1] => I did look upon. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => And did he send you both these letters at an instant? ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Within a quarter of an hour. ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt; [1] => I rather will suspect the sun with cold [2] => Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand [3] => In him that was of late an heretic, [4] => As firm as faith. ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more: [1] => Be not as extreme in submission [2] => As in offence. [3] => But let our plot go forward: let our wives [4] => Yet once again, to make us public sport, [5] => Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, [6] => Where we may take him and disgrace him for it. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => There is no better way than that they spoke of. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => How? to send him word they'll meet him in the park [1] => at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You say he has been thrown in the rivers and has [1] => been grievously peaten as an old 'oman: methinks [2] => there should be terrors in him that he should not [3] => come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have [4] => no desires. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => So think I too. ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Devise but how you'll use him when he comes, [1] => And let us two devise to bring him thither. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter, [1] => Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, [2] => Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight, [3] => Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns; [4] => And there he blasts the tree and takes the cattle [5] => And makes milch-kine yield blood and shakes a chain [6] => In a most hideous and dreadful manner: [7] => You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know [8] => The superstitious idle-headed eld [9] => Received and did deliver to our age [10] => This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth. ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, yet there want not many that do fear [1] => In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak: [2] => But what of this? ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, this is our device; [1] => That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come: [1] => And in this shape when you have brought him thither, [2] => What shall be done with him? what is your plot? ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: [1] => Nan Page my daughter and my little son [2] => And three or four more of their growth we'll dress [3] => Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white, [4] => With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, [5] => And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden, [6] => As Falstaff, she and I, are newly met, [7] => Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once [8] => With some diffused song: upon their sight, [9] => We two in great amazedness will fly: [10] => Then let them all encircle him about [11] => And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight, [12] => And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel, [13] => In their so sacred paths he dares to tread [14] => In shape profane. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And till he tell the truth, [1] => Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound [2] => And burn him with their tapers. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The truth being known, [1] => We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, [2] => And mock him home to Windsor. ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The children must [1] => Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. ) ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will teach the children their behaviors; and I [1] => will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the [2] => knight with my taber. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, [1] => Finely attired in a robe of white. ) ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That silk will I go buy. [1] => And in that time [2] => Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away [3] => And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight. ) [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay I'll to him again in name of Brook [1] => He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come. ) ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fear not you that. Go get us properties [1] => And tricking for our fairies. ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery [1] => honest knaveries. ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Go, Mistress Ford, [1] => Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [2] => I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will, [3] => And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. [4] => That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; [5] => And he my husband best of all affects. [6] => The doctor is well money'd, and his friends [7] => Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her, [8] => Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit MISTRESS FORD ) ) ) [4] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter Host and SIMPLE [1] => Enter FALSTAFF [2] => Exit [3] => Enter BARDOLPH [4] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS [5] => Exit [6] => Enter DOCTOR CAIUS [7] => Exit [8] => Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH [9] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What wouldst thou have, boor? what: thick-skin? [1] => speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff [1] => from Master Slender. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his [1] => standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about [2] => with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go [3] => knock and call; hell speak like an Anthropophaginian [4] => unto thee: knock, I say. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his [1] => chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come [2] => down; I come to speak with her, indeed. ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll [1] => call. Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from [2] => thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine [3] => host, thine Ephesian, calls. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Above ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of [1] => thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her [2] => descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy? [3] => fie! ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with [1] => me; but she's gone. ) ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of [1] => Brentford? ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell: what would you with her? ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing [1] => her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether [2] => one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the [3] => chain or no. ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I spake with the old woman about it. ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => And what says she, I pray, sir? ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, she says that the very same man that [1] => beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of [2] => it. ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; [1] => I had other things to have spoken with her too from [2] => him. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => What are they? let us know. ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Ay, come; quick. ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => I may not conceal them, sir. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Conceal them, or thou diest. ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne [1] => Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to [2] => have her or no. ) ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => What, sir? ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so. ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => May I be bold to say so, sir? ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Ay, sir; like who more bold. ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIMPLE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad [1] => with these tidings. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was [1] => there a wise woman with thee? ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught [1] => me more wit than ever I learned before in my life; [2] => and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for [3] => my learning. ) ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage! ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => BARDOLPH [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came [1] => beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one of [2] => them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, [3] => like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not [1] => say they be fled; Germans are honest men. ) ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Where is mine host? ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => What is the matter, sir? ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Have a care of your entertainments: there is a [1] => friend of mine come to town tells me there is three [2] => cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of [3] => Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and [4] => money. I tell you for good will, look you: you [5] => are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and [6] => 'tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well. ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Vere is mine host de Jarteer? ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma. ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat [1] => you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by [2] => my trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to [3] => come. I tell you for good vill: adieu. ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Hue and cry, villain, go! Assist me, knight. I am [1] => undone! Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone! ) ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I would all the world might be cozened; for I have [1] => been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to [2] => the ear of the court, how I have been transformed [3] => and how my transformation hath been washed and [4] => cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by [5] => drop and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant [6] => they would whip me with their fine wits till I were [7] => as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered [8] => since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my [9] => wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent. [10] => Now, whence come you? ) [STAGEDIR] => Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => From the two parties, forsooth. ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The devil take one party and his dam the other! and [1] => so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more [2] => for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy [3] => of man's disposition is able to bear. ) ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; [1] => speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, [2] => is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a [3] => white spot about her. ) ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was [1] => beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; [2] => and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of [3] => Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit, [4] => my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, [5] => delivered me, the knave constable had set me i' the [6] => stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. ) ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you [1] => shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your [2] => content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good [3] => hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! [4] => Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that [5] => you are so crossed. ) ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Come up into my chamber. ) ) ) [5] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE VI. Another room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FENTON and Host [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I [1] => will give over all. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, [1] => And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee [2] => A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the [1] => least keep your counsel. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => From time to time I have acquainted you [1] => With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; [2] => Who mutually hath answer'd my affection, [3] => So far forth as herself might be her chooser, [4] => Even to my wish: I have a letter from her [5] => Of such contents as you will wonder at; [6] => The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, [7] => That neither singly can be manifested, [8] => Without the show of both; fat Falstaff [9] => Hath a great scene: the image of the jest [10] => I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host. [11] => To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, [12] => Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen; [13] => The purpose why, is here: in which disguise, [14] => While other jests are something rank on foot, [15] => Her father hath commanded her to slip [16] => Away with Slender and with him at Eton [17] => Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Now, sir, [18] => Her mother, ever strong against that match [19] => And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed [20] => That he shall likewise shuffle her away, [21] => While other sports are tasking of their minds, [22] => And at the deanery, where a priest attends, [23] => Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot [24] => She seemingly obedient likewise hath [25] => Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests: [26] => Her father means she shall be all in white, [27] => And in that habit, when Slender sees his time [28] => To take her by the hand and bid her go, [29] => She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, [30] => The better to denote her to the doctor, [31] => For they must all be mask'd and vizarded, [32] => That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed, [33] => With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head; [34] => And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, [35] => To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, [36] => The maid hath given consent to go with him. ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Which means she to deceive, father or mother? ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Both, my good host, to go along with me: [1] => And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar [2] => To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one, [3] => And, in the lawful name of marrying, [4] => To give our hearts united ceremony. ) ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Host [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar: [1] => Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => So shall I evermore be bound to thee; [1] => Besides, I'll make a present recompense. ) ) ) ) ) ) [4] => Array ( [TITLE] => ACT V [SCENE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE I. A room in the Garter Inn. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll hold. This is [1] => the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd [2] => numbers. Away I go. They say there is divinity in [3] => odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away! ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to [1] => get you a pair of horns. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [1] => How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter [2] => will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the [3] => Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall [4] => see wonders. ) [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Exit MISTRESS QUICKLY [1] => Enter FORD ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me [1] => you had appointed? ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor [1] => old man: but I came from her, Master Brook, like a [2] => poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, [3] => hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, [4] => Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell [5] => you: he beat me grievously, in the shape of a [6] => woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear [7] => not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know [8] => also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along [9] => with me: I'll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I [10] => plucked geese, played truant and whipped top, I knew [11] => not what 'twas to be beaten till lately. Follow [12] => me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave [13] => Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I [14] => will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. [15] => Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow. ) ) ) ) [1] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE II. Windsor Park. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-ditch till we [1] => see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, [2] => my daughter. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her and we have a [1] => nay-word how to know one another: I come to her in [2] => white, and cry 'mum;' she cries 'budget;' and by [3] => that we know one another. ) ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SHALLOW [LINE] => Array ( [0] => That's good too: but what needs either your 'mum' [1] => or her 'budget?' the white will decipher her well [2] => enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The night is dark; light and spirits will become it [1] => well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil [2] => but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. [3] => Let's away; follow me. ) ) ) ) [2] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE III. A street leading to the Park. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and DOCTOR CAIUS [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you [1] => see your time, take her by the band, away with her [2] => to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before [3] => into the Park: we two must go together. ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => I know vat I have to do. Adieu. ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fare you well, sir. [1] => My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of [2] => Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying [3] => my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little [4] => chiding than a great deal of heart-break. ) [STAGEDIR] => Exit DOCTOR CAIUS ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies, and the [1] => Welsh devil Hugh? ) ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, [1] => with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of [2] => Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once [3] => display to the night. ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => That cannot choose but amaze him. ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be [1] => amazed, he will every way be mocked. ) ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => We'll betray him finely. ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Against such lewdsters and their lechery [1] => Those that betray them do no treachery. ) ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak! ) ) ) [3] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE IV. Windsor Park. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised, with others as Fairies [1] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts: [1] => be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and [2] => when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you: [3] => come, come; trib, trib. ) ) ) [4] => Array ( [TITLE] => SCENE V. Another part of the Park. [STAGEDIR] => Array ( [0] => Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Herne [1] => Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE [2] => Noise within [3] => They run off [4] => Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL, as Hobgoblin; MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and others, as Fairies, with tapers [5] => Lies down upon his face [6] => They burn him with their tapers [7] => During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises [8] => Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, and MISTRESS FORD [9] => Enter SLENDER [10] => Enter DOCTOR CAIUS [11] => Exit [12] => Exit Act ) [SPEECH] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute [1] => draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! [2] => Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love [3] => set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some [4] => respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man [5] => a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love [6] => of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew [7] => to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in [8] => the form of a beast. O Jove, a beastly fault! And [9] => then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think [10] => on 't, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot [11] => backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a [12] => Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the [13] => forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can [14] => blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my [15] => doe? ) ) [1] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer? ) [2] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain [1] => potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green [2] => Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let [3] => there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. ) ) [3] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart. ) [4] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will [1] => keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow [2] => of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. [3] => Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? [4] => Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes [5] => restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! ) ) [5] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Alas, what noise? ) [6] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Heaven forgive our sins ) [7] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => What should this be? ) [8] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => Array ( [0] => MISTRESS FORD [1] => MISTRESS PAGE ) [LINE] => Away, away! ) [9] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the [1] => oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would [2] => never else cross me thus. ) ) [10] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, [1] => You moonshine revellers and shades of night, [2] => You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, [3] => Attend your office and your quality. [4] => Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes. ) ) [11] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. [1] => Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap: [2] => Where fires thou find'st unraked and hearths unswept, [3] => There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry: [4] => Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery. ) ) [12] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: [1] => I'll wink and couch: no man their works must eye. ) ) [13] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Where's Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid [1] => That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, [2] => Raise up the organs of her fantasy; [3] => Sleep she as sound as careless infancy: [4] => But those as sleep and think not on their sins, [5] => Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides and shins. ) ) [14] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => About, about; [1] => Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out: [2] => Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room: [3] => That it may stand till the perpetual doom, [4] => In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit, [5] => Worthy the owner, and the owner it. [6] => The several chairs of order look you scour [7] => With juice of balm and every precious flower: [8] => Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, [9] => With loyal blazon, evermore be blest! [10] => And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing, [11] => Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring: [12] => The expressure that it bears, green let it be, [13] => More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; [14] => And 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' write [15] => In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue and white; [16] => Let sapphire, pearl and rich embroidery, [17] => Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee: [18] => Fairies use flowers for their charactery. [19] => Away; disperse: but till 'tis one o'clock, [20] => Our dance of custom round about the oak [21] => Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget. ) ) [15] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set [1] => And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, [2] => To guide our measure round about the tree. [3] => But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth. ) ) [16] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he [1] => transform me to a piece of cheese! ) ) [17] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth. ) [18] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: [1] => If he be chaste, the flame will back descend [2] => And turn him to no pain; but if he start, [3] => It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. ) ) [19] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PISTOL [LINE] => A trial, come. ) [20] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Come, will this wood take fire? ) [21] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Oh, Oh, Oh! ) [22] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS QUICKLY [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! [1] => About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme; [2] => And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. [3] => Fie on sinful fantasy! [4] => Fie on lust and luxury! [5] => Lust is but a bloody fire, [6] => Kindled with unchaste desire, [7] => Fed in heart, whose flames aspire [8] => As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. [9] => Pinch him, fairies, mutually; [10] => Pinch him for his villany; [11] => Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, [12] => Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. ) [SUBHEAD] => SONG. ) [23] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now [1] => Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? ) ) [24] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher [1] => Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives? [2] => See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes [3] => Become the forest better than the town? ) ) [25] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook, [1] => Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his [2] => horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath [3] => enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his [4] => cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be [5] => paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for [6] => it, Master Brook. ) ) [26] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. [1] => I will never take you for my love again; but I will [2] => always count you my deer. ) ) [27] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. ) [28] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant. ) [29] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And these are not fairies? I was three or four [1] => times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet [2] => the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my [3] => powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a [4] => received belief, in despite of the teeth of all [5] => rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now [6] => how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when 'tis upon [7] => ill employment! ) ) [30] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your [1] => desires, and fairies will not pinse you. ) ) [31] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Well said, fairy Hugh. ) [32] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => And leave your jealousies too, I pray you. ) [33] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art [1] => able to woo her in good English. ) ) [34] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that [1] => it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as [2] => this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I [3] => have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked [4] => with a piece of toasted cheese. ) ) [35] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Seese is not good to give putter; your belly is all putter. ) [36] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => 'Seese' and 'putter'! have I lived to stand at the [1] => taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This [2] => is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking [3] => through the realm. ) ) [37] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why Sir John, do you think, though we would have the [1] => virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders [2] => and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, [3] => that ever the devil could have made you our delight? ) ) [38] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? ) [39] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => A puffed man? ) [40] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Old, cold, withered and of intolerable entrails? ) [41] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => And one that is as slanderous as Satan? ) [42] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => And as poor as Job? ) [43] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => And as wicked as his wife? ) [44] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SIR HUGH EVANS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => And given to fornications, and to taverns and sack [1] => and wine and metheglins, and to drinkings and [2] => swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles? ) ) [45] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I [1] => am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh [2] => flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use [3] => me as you will. ) ) [46] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one [1] => Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to [2] => whom you should have been a pander: over and above [3] => that you have suffered, I think to repay that money [4] => will be a biting affliction. ) ) [47] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset [1] => to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to [2] => laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her [3] => Master Slender hath married her daughter. ) ) [48] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [STAGEDIR] => Aside ) [1] => daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife. ) ) [49] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Whoa ho! ho, father Page! ) [50] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched? ) [51] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire [1] => know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. ) ) [52] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Of what, son? ) [53] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, [1] => and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been [2] => i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he [3] => should have swinged me. If I did not think it had [4] => been Anne Page, would I might never stir!--and 'tis [5] => a postmaster's boy. ) ) [54] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. ) [55] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took [1] => a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for [2] => all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had [3] => him. ) ) [56] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how [1] => you should know my daughter by her garments? ) ) [57] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => SLENDER [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she [1] => cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet [2] => it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy. ) ) [58] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; [1] => turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is [2] => now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married. ) ) [59] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' [1] => married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; [2] => it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened. ) ) [60] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Why, did you take her in green? ) [61] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => DOCTOR CAIUS [LINE] => Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. ) [62] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne? ) [63] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton. [1] => How now, Master Fenton! ) [STAGEDIR] => Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE ) [64] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => ANNE PAGE [LINE] => Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon! ) [65] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender? ) [66] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Why went you not with master doctor, maid? ) [67] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FENTON [LINE] => Array ( [0] => You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. [1] => You would have married her most shamefully, [2] => Where there was no proportion held in love. [3] => The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, [4] => Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us. [5] => The offence is holy that she hath committed; [6] => And this deceit loses the name of craft, [7] => Of disobedience, or unduteous title, [8] => Since therein she doth evitate and shun [9] => A thousand irreligious cursed hours, [10] => Which forced marriage would have brought upon her. ) ) [68] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Stand not amazed; here is no remedy: [1] => In love the heavens themselves do guide the state; [2] => Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. ) ) [69] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => Array ( [0] => I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to [1] => strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. ) ) [70] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy! [1] => What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced. ) ) [71] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FALSTAFF [LINE] => When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased. ) [72] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => MISTRESS PAGE [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton, [1] => Heaven give you many, many merry days! [2] => Good husband, let us every one go home, [3] => And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; [4] => Sir John and all. ) ) [73] => Array ( [SPEAKER] => FORD [LINE] => Array ( [0] => Let it be so. Sir John, [1] => To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word [2] => For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford. ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )